"Gray head, a demon in a rib".From time to time all people experience not only depression, but also crises. The most severe and prolonged crisis in the life of men is the so - called "mid-life crisis", which occurs in the age period from 40 to 42 48 to 50 years.
In these years, most men start to feel the reduction of vital energy ("could all night no sleep and nothing, and now two hours will be enough sleep is broken all day") and sum up the first results of life ("What had that not had and will never have time").
The doctor and psychotherapist D. Dobson calls four "enemies" in the life of a middle-aged man's own body, work, family and Destiny.
The first "enemy" - the aging body
"The guy just a few years ago called Joe, now begins to pass. His hair falls out, despite feverish efforts to preserve and protect each remaining strand. "I have a bald spot!? " - he shudders. Then notices that he has no former endurance and stamina, which he was proud. He begins to choke up the stairs. Gradually his face comes an expression of confidence, and in front of the mirror remains depressed, blown away by all the discoveries and not believing my eyes Joe".
The second "enemy" - work
"The frustration in his professional business reaches men maximum strength is usually in middle age. Awareness of the brevity of its existence makes people think about how not to miss a single day of the remaining years of life. However, most men have little choice. Financial needs of the family require them to continue efforts on the previously chosen career, as children need to learn in College, you need to pay for the house in General, to do everything to life, which are used by the family, would continue. And the man sometimes becomes more difficult".
The third of the "enemy" - the family
"The tumultuous years of the doubt in myself and digging their problems can bring havoc in family life. Such a man may become angry, depressed or aggressive configured. All these symptoms can turn against those he is closest. He begins to resent even the fact that his wife and children in need. Matter how hard he worked, they require more money than he can earn, and this leads him to severe irritation... And the man again begins to embrace the desire to be rid of".
The fourth of the "enemy" - Destiny
"With a rather strange logical manipulations, the man begins to blame the Fate of all their misfortunes, standing in a posture of anger and rebellion".
As our men are struggling with the crisis and what did they do? The main "treatment" means the man in this period, is an emotional or physical shock, activation of vitality. To achieve internal growth that energy was fed by the male during adolescence, in different ways and everyone chooses his own path.
What path is chosen more often by men known to me and to the reader. So, it can be a series of love Affairs with young or very young women. It is no secret that new love and related new sensations and experiences excitatory, increasing vitality and providing a certain rejuvenating effect.
Quite often, unfortunately, this stimulant is alcohol, which at first really brings relief from difficult experiences.
Many of the successful middle-aged men with brains" are rooted in work aiming as high as possible to climb the career ladder and become truly workaholics.
There are cases and unexpected withdrawal - transfer Affairs of the Trustee and the departure of the city (country house, country house, growing flowers, breeding of domestic or exotic animals).
In all of these cases are viewed desperate desire of a man to run away from yourself, to relax, to salonitis from the problems of physical, emotional and spiritual order. In addition, during this period, the male brings harm to ourselves and others. Novels with young girls is the destruction of his own family, in which his wife, a woman of middle-age and adolescent children. The alcohol at first, brings relief, then there is a dependence and an even greater intensification of depressive emotions. In Russia there is nothing worse than alcoholism: the loss of a job, family, the devastation. But strange "goings" or "Obagi" in forest fields is too injury, most often a close.
But let me, why the crisis need to experience how devastating life span? Why in these years need to affect your life and the lives of their loved ones? Why fear to count your years, depressed and to suffer, forcing them to suffer significant for people? In fact, the crisis can be experienced quite differently: calmly and constructively, improving their lives and the lives of their surroundings!
What do we need to do?
(Podlaski you and your man)
First and foremostcalmly and with dignity to take your age and the associated physical, emotional and spiritual changes. In fact, the middle of life can be the best, valuable and fruitful period in human life: accumulated experience and knowledge, have the energy and activity. The man knows what he wants from life, and understand their aspirations.
Decided and settled personal life, had grown up and stronger children. On Sunday at the dining table sits a large family, the centre of which are the spouses, and the man here - a leading center.
Second
: to tune in a constructive accommodation of its crisis life span, without compromising and destroying their lives, but on the contrary, improving and rising to a new, qualitatively higher level.
Third
: to rebuild their lives and develop a program of successful living crisis". As we wrote above, the man needs physical and emotional shake-up. This can be achieved by "civilized ways": there are classes that are associated with strong activation energy. So, my observations show that a great therapeutic effect on the active man provide repair or exchange apartment, change in the home environment, the construction of a new country house, buying a car, etc. Improve internal state and bring positive emotions various Hobbies (collecting, doing something with their hands, and so on).
Fourth: the middle-aged man must do his physical condition. It is also noticed that the most difficult crisis men plump, flabby, forgotten that when the body was obedient, and muscles strong and elastic. And you can remember: the pool, playing sports, hunting, fishing, etc. Many men, who returned to the sport, surprised to notice how quickly the body gets the flexibility and mobility, and from hard experience not a trace remains.
Fifth: you need to organize your life so that it was a place of joy, some happy, positive emotions. And to ensure that it was time to do it. Well, if you have a favorite work, in which a person experiences emotional UPS States: creativity, resolution deadlock problems, finding original and fresh solutions.
Author:
Samokhina N. In.
Source:
astroMeridian
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