When we pledge to be together "...in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty, till death do us part", no one thinks, of course, that the case could end up in failure. And separates you not death, but the misunderstanding, different views on life, alcohol or another woman, so who knows what may come between the once loved each other people who became unbearable to live together. And then in life, a period called "divorce". And this is not a one-time action - related statement, waited the required time and got the coveted stamp in the passport, it's a lot of different problems to be overcome, still together or alone already.First, you miss. Yes, we should honestly admit: despite the fact that love has passed, and can be made even fatal step to hate, we still miss my ex-husband. Someone stronger, someone less. For example, no matter how I was a burden to my ex-husband in recent years, the first time after a divorce in the head regularly and climbed out of place thoughts like "but in this Park we were walking with a stroller, but in this cafe we had dinner after work, when I was too lazy to cook". And when on the mobile display his room, his heart still ached painfully. This occurs even if you broke up with the scandal. Even if your memory he left home obnoxious tyrant, a miser or a traitor, you will have some time to be bored. Because we live together years, marred by misunderstandings were full and enjoyable moments, to throw that out of your head is not so easy.
Secondly, you continue to quarrel Of course, when we think about the upcoming divorce, we digested in the depths of the cranium many such stories. Now divorced as brad pitt. Not far behind and Madonna. And friend Masha put his blessed for the door. Stories weight! Divorce is normal, it happens. Parting couples continue to live on adequately communicate and even drinking together at meetings with mutual friends. Isn't it? Alas, all of the above - nonsense. I can assure you that calm and peaceful divorce, when both halves without quarrels and accusations went to their burrows, Shmakov each other on the cheek, is a divorce mythical tinged with hypocrisy. And I though promised former husband that we part as friends, he will dine with me and the baby, and we will make touching a walk in style "but gathered distant relatives", postriziny period was always accompanied us hisses into the phone, allegations of past sins and attempts to avoid personal meetings. Well, can't the former lovers are not to quarrel! At least initially...
Thirdly, you will divide children Exactly. Sadly, to boast that "I communicate with children as much as I want", maybe not every divorced man. For us, the women, after a divorce necessarily grow up with a moral dilemma: "the child should be one family! I and my new husband. At the same time... and the son loves the father, and to them you must see. But whether there will be a short meeting with Pope stressful for him? And maybe the kid is better not to meet with the father? Peace of mind is more important. And then... Dad left us! The scoundrel! I don't want my son spoke with him! But son loves it... So why dad still hasn't called? " The whole palette of moral anguish sometimes overshadows us interests the main character of the issue - child. And even the wise, experienced and strong, divorced women involuntarily begin to indulge in this insane reasoning. Most intelligent people know how to harness the offense, and not to make the child's emotional currency for which it is possible for the weight to buy the guilt of the former husband. In life the rest of this tragedy, entitled "whose child is pulled by years.
Fourthly, you will feel the entire burden sharing property
When I personal example has joined the ranks of razvedenoj", I sincerely wanted to leave her husband with one suitcase, a daughter under one arm and a laptop. And niepoprawny pride, of course. But no matter how I tried, no matter how processed your pride exhortations, she survived long. Pride quickly began to RUB and sorbet, shameful caving in under the weight of the mind, and gradually replaced the suitcase-laptop romance acute desire to pick up the microwave, TV, refrigerator, dieffenbachia in a pot and half the cost of car ex-spouse. Despite her new car. And indifference to poisonous dumb cane. Anyway... All the furniture in the apartment "AIX" bought for my account! So what is this pride, and why should I give someone else their hard earned? This Mercantile calculation, as it turned out, was in my head not only mine, but all my divorced friends. Which, oddly enough, too, were full of brave desire to leave with one suitcase. Because, like it or not, after the divorce, we need to live, and not live with empty pockets. And we in any case have to deal with the humiliating negotiations plan "Give me the pan, I bought it, can show a receipt".
Fifth, self - reliance is not always a pleasure. So, if you broke up with your spouse, but on the horizon there has not been a new boyfriend, you'll notice the lack of the usual man's shoulder. Even in everyday terms. For example, one beautiful evening, when he was already divorced woman, I asked myself: "why I became so tired? " The answer came quickly. "Aw, snap! - I remembered. It turns out that the husband regularly took the daughter out of kindergarten! " For some reason, when you have in life are easy, useful and convenient aspects of it become invisible. But man, lady, are very useful in everyday life and the economy! So I had to take the baby from the caring hands of the educator, working far opresivas early and delighting cops conquest tubes vigorous riding on the roadside. Although it may, all the little things. And what would you do with a lack of regular sex and need to carry packages of food from the supermarket?
Sixth, after divorce life abruptly changes
. Especially if you were together a year or two, and much more. I understood it immediately. A few months after my divorce, I honestly communicated with shared with her ex-husband friends and promised to come to their birthday parties. I calmly replied, "No, really, I just don't care that there will be IT and believed in it. Until the first time... Because when the ex-husband came to the party with a new passion, and instead of our daughter on his lap sat a strange child, I always promised myself never to appear next to them in society. And I had to accept the fact that friends can still invite, but, for example, with relatives "AIX" talk I'll be minimal. Why do I need them? For them, I'm a stranger. So, parting with my husband, we, contrary to expectations, we begin a very different life. With shared property, shared children, friends and relatives. And even dieffenbachia and beating to death agony pride.
But all these "babochki" from medicine called divorce, fortunately, darken our lives for a short time. Because after all the girls - unit independent and not the Annex to the man. Lovely work, dear child, new friends and, damn her, playfully cast prudence to the winds in the growth of dieffenbachia sooner or later reanimate our feelings, replacing dull the mark of residence on proud - "free woman".
Source:
Леди@mail.ru
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