Scientists believe that the person telling the truth 3-4 times in 10 minutes of conversation, and in most cases does not even notice it. On an average day goes from 20 to 50 cases lie. Why do we lie?
Afraid of responsibility
Words and actions have to answer, and failed to timely project you may forfeit the prize and the location of the bosses. We are afraid of the reaction to the truth, and this is the main reason lies throughout the history of mankind. This lie is no different artistic fiction, it is basic and primitive. Let's just say a lie like that sort of necessary for survival in society.
And to be honest? You can significantly reduce the share of such lie out of fear, if you take responsibility for delays, broken promises and unjustified hope. Try honestly, without umiliani and excuse a couple of times to plead guilty: "Repent, to blame". It is unlikely you will fall storm of indignation: we are all so used to excuses at the level of half-truths that honesty literally disarms.
So to live more interesting
Well, you went to Turkey. Well, rested, splashed into the sea and a good tan. Vacation - solid "b". However banal stories are not interesting, and the stories of friends one-week trip all-inclusive turns into an adventure series, in which all applicable characters are all unique personalities, the food is delicious blissfully, the weather was beautiful and the hotel is better than in Dubai. And a couple of broken hearts, you will add a rosy picture.
You in the course of the conversation are using a lot of methods of transformation of reality. Keep silent about the average room in a hotel will exaggerate the quality of the food and add a couple of details just art's sake. After all who cares to listen ordinary history? Besides, many of us adhere to the principle of Scarlett O'hara "Let envy than pity".
And to be honest?
Actually, the day we listen to so much priukrasheny, exaggerated stories that do not really believe in the truth of another. There is a much more honest and correct Outlook on life: instead of editing the story after the fact, you learn to look for a truly unique moments in your daily life. They will make on others much more impressive, but the most interesting thing you won't be no longer the case. Inner satisfaction does not need fascinated the listeners.
I want to be better than
You probably have at least one friend "Woman of mystery". Once she read that the mystery paints women, but now pretends that on weekends flies in the family castle somewhere in the MIDI-pyrénées, and distributes about his wonderful person the rumors.
This is a typical example of lying for the sake of reputation. We want to look better, but to boast in General nothing. And then in the course is a proven weapon - free lie that gives us unlimited scope for creativity. For example, the humble clerk turns into "Batman", and the teacher of biology - the secret of the Baroness. Less extreme options: we embellished reality in summary, stretching the truth about the education obtained, discussing on-year experience at the district mail.
And to be honest? Tell me the truth right now: does the lie that sort of satisfaction? You look bigger in your own eyes? In fact of the matter. In addition to dissatisfaction with their situation, you get a sense of guilt for endless lies. It is unlikely this will add points to your self-esteem. Stop to lie on the little things, say like it is, and the rich imagination of a better use for its intended purpose: to find ways in fact to make life more interesting and richer.
Too much fantasize
I remember a friend who loved passionately and with great pleasure to lie unknown interlocutors in ICQ about his remarkable life. She lived on the outskirts of Rostov, but in these conversations appeared native genius of the major European advertising campaign. And if you caught it in flight rampant lies, it would read, as it is currently drinking the best coffee in Vienna airport. With Juliette Binoche. Or Catherine Deneuve.
Strangely enough, but psychologists believe that wishful thinking is sometimes very useful. We lie and in the process gradually get used to the new role, try on the dream and look at ourselves. Of course, if not too fond of and maintain a sense of reality.
And to be honest? In Tove Jansson is a story in which a mother and her middle-aged daughter twirl the globe and talk for hours about his travels. Neither one nor the other did not leave without the need of an apartment. Only one lie you never turn your dreams into truth. Move the focus from words to actions, and then in the inventions there will be no special need.
In pairs: looking for freedom
"I'm in traffic," says the husband, when you ask, did he go to the furniture store. Nods in response to the manifestation of your care: "Dear, you're just ate? " Then it will be found that in the store he had not wanted, and not have dinner at all. Why to lie on the little things? Yes then that in response to the truth he will hear a couple of lectures about digestive problems and accusations of irresponsible attitude to repair and the family. So much easier to lie, because you, too, sometimes in words, reduce the amount spent on shopping.
We like to shorten the distance in the relationship, go to dependencies and doing addicted loved one. Concern is sometimes annoying, attention causes almost bouts of claustrophobia. So false it provides a little bit of personal freedom - just enough to do without scandal.
And to be honest? In a relationship there is no place for lies. We accept each other just as we are, so there is no need for deception. And the stronger the Union, so it is more honest. Why are you cheating partner, what you want to achieve and what your character is trying to hide? The true reasons in this case are always deeper and more serious reason for another momentary lie. Maybe you do not have enough mutual trust or should provide each other with a little more freedom?
White lies
"I'm fine! "we say to the mother, although personal life falls apart at the seams at work one after another passes the wave of cuts. Why would she need more time to worry? What little white lies, know and doctors: sometimes it's better to lie and to give hope, than to frighten this truth, from which the patient will lose heart. An example of the constructive lie placebo. Neither of which the effect would not be out of the question, if the doctor said bluntly: this is the normal sugar pill that will heal you if you believe in its miraculous properties.
And to be honest?
Aside from placebo, and let us return to our everyday life. White lies - the subject is extremely slippery, because the definition of "goods" that you chose. And then, under this concept, you can easily customize any, even the most shameless lie. These are habits of mind - he always looks for excuses simpler.
Try to consciously renounce the lie, in what would be an awkward situation you may find yourself. First, it will not be easy, but in the future, the habit of speaking the truth will take you on a completely different level of life and communication. By the way, to lie about moving instead of "burning" trips to Spain never had. The boss was a big fan of Spanish football, and in exchange for favors even drove to the airport. After all honesty is a very charming quality.
Source:
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