Sex in marriage

Sex in marriage the first year - the madness of passion


All tales end with a wedding, but for some reason none of the wedding doesn't start. Coincidence or a subtle hint to the wise ancestors that marriage may not be anything fabulous? Everything from day to day and from year to year becomes more and more everyday and less fabulous. Especially sex. Well, unless you can eat the same dish, two, five or even worse, 20 years?




When people begin to live together in a sexual relationship excite them, probably the last thing in the world. Because they occur, that is, on the machine. The secret here is no no special. The majority of Russians are married at a very young age: hormones raging, life abounds. People have not yet had time to climb the social ladder, not overgrown wealth and, in the presence of a constant potency and natural charm, nothing special to brag cannot. As a rule, sexual relationships of young people after the stamp in the passport develop exactly the same as before, only in a more comfortable environment. Leave the notorious problem of the place and time. Parents are not outraged that sometimes it would be nice to sleep at home, there are living space (which is in the first year is not very important). Now here he is, loved and desired man, please, next from morning till night. Or rather, from night to morning. And you have the legal right to behave as you wish, even if in the next seat dad grimly pretends to be watching football, but does not conduct surveillance of your hands.




Speaking in simple language, the first year - this time engineering-mechanics. Experiments, attempts to find an erotic space, fitting to the needs of each other and so on take all sexual space.





And three years later...


The second year is called the year of tenderness. People have a lot of things about one another understood, and that in itself is liberating. Actually this time could be called the Golden age of sex in marriage. Because he stands at the junction of mad passion and quieter, but no less wonderful feelings of love. And at the same time full emancipation is not always in favor of sex. Because freedom of behavior appears not only in bed. Come out to the light of God's most beautiful human habits, not the most erotic moments of life and so on.




After three years of "crazy feeling" becomes much quieter, and more often than you'd like, you catch yourself thinking that that's a pain - forever now. All is clear, love the script beaten, as read before the holes Shocker, you know, how he would see what he will say... And horrified to think about what will happen next. The question "is there sexual lives of people who have lived together for 20 years? " in the mind is equated with the question "is there life on Mars?..". And what does the emergence of such thoughts? Love dies?




Dies. Not only love and passion. Scientists have come to the conclusion that the age of short-lived passion, and if to be more exact, she, my child, do not live longer than three years. That is how much the human body can survive elevated levels of dopamine, noradrenaline, prolactin, luliberin and oxytocin. These hormonal ingredients with strange names is the feeling that makes your knees fold over, heart attacks, and heart beat racing thoughts.




Sociologists have also estimated that two out of three marriages do not pass the three-year threshold and people leave. And really unpleasant divorce is inevitable, if people will not associate anything except passion.





Five years later,...


Five sex - the best indicator of the quality of your life together. Sex do not exist in itself: it is an important, but still part of the relationship between two people. And if a pair is not only remained common topics for conversation, but once again throw a glance on the spouse becomes lazy, hardly spouses will thrive in bed.




Usually at this time point, the man behaves like a joke: "what do You eyebrows were wysopal? "that is stubbornly refuses to see new fragrances, shoes, and generally behaves not the best way. Yes and the woman are increasingly drawn to spend time outside the home. No, not in the sense of escape left. Most women for this step we need a serious reason. We usually go for the new experience, a different atmosphere. Not for nothing do they say that a man loves his eyes, and the woman ears. We like to read novels, rendering the characters. And they (men that is) love to watch erotica - there's nothing to report do not and very clear, how many times and in what position someone who loved. By the way, at this stage is particularly evident textbook and global difference between the sexes.




The woman, filled with the freshness of the outside the house, having received confirmation of its appeal, runs home in the marital bed. And man, receiving a generous advances outside the home, most likely, will run back to where these advances came. And maybe he'd like it. Because it is new, tempting, and in the rapture... Sociological studies of couples who have lived together for more than five years, show that the vast majority of spouses having Affairs with the sole and in General good purpose - to develop and diversify their sexual relationships. They're not going to throw my half, do not fall under the fatal charm, not trying to turn life 180 degrees. They treat their bedding problems.




Most often unsuccessful. Because the diagnosis is wrong. To begin to establish relationships need out of bed, and she is given a positive outcome will include the mode smoothedge. At this stage of life together experts, sexologists advise to have a common hobby, to give himself a shake, often to leave the city, region, country. After all, making love on the background of the same Wallpaper get tired of even the rabbit!





And ten years later...


Sex as a separate unit for ten years suffers significant changes. Scientists have found that for such a significant period of time in a person significantly change and the boundaries of erogenous zones, and forms of actuation of an organism to sexual stimuli. Changes in the shape of the figure, even to say no.




So ten years can be called the second stage of the conquest. And how you will win your half and will, in principle, depends on the quality and quantity of sex.





And in twenty years...


Of course, this experience of family life in itself suggests that sex and if not expired on the tenth plan in a relationship, you obviously came close to this position. Experts say about the care of testosterone from the male blood of the female menopause, and it seemed in the light of these changes should be not to sex. However, not all fall under the General results of the research. There are individuals, whose testosterone levels have remained at until the present age, and feelings are not in a hurry to die. As a rule, these people are active, conscious about their physical form. Otherwise how would this number was taken late fathers and mothers? Why children are born, it seems, everyone knows. Yes and folk wisdom about the fact that "forty-five Baba berry again, it finds confirmation in life.




The main thing to remember is that not all sexual relationships is limited by time. There is a rare breed of people who are able to cheat time and periodically to fall in love with your own wife. These can cause short term passion several times throughout their life together. Therefore, to run the entire route again, and as if for the first time.





Expert comments



Maria Fedorova, a psychologist at the Institute of group and family psychology and psychotherapy: "In the first year of marriage the couple experience the joy of discovery of each other, waiting for something new - both frightening and attractive. However, they shouldn't get online very common myth: that if people love each other, their sexual relationship will emerge by themselves, without extra effort, and if you come cooling means, and the love is over. This misconception often becomes a stumbling block for many families.


In marriage, the need for intimacy and intensity change over time. For example, the birth of a child, especially the first, have a significant effect on sexual relations between spouses: they spend less time together, the woman a lot of time and effort pays child, the man feels abandoned. The couple a few away from each other. Perhaps this is the hardest thing for five years of marriage.




The complexity of the second and third "five" will likely be addictive: affection become monotonous, "bed scenario known from the beginning to the end, which greatly reduces the desire and pleasure.




However, the biggest challenges spouses who have lived together for 18-25 years: rose and left the children, not caring, and then disappeared that keeps many in the family. Spouses are tete-a-tete, as long ago, in the beginning of their relationship. But the era of pleasant discoveries behind. For both this is the period of the approaching climax. My husband he is manifested in the gradual decrease of testosterone in the blood, which leads to decreased libido. Usually it's hard enough experienced men. A new hobby can they regain his old form. And if the spouses no real understanding, intimacy, mutual Hobbies and interests, an affair can lead to family disintegration. The fact that marriage is not forever a prisoner of the Union, and the process is changeable, contradictory, lively, demanding attention and care. What's interesting. Sexual relations can act as an indicator of this process, tooltip: "something is wrong, pay attention! "




Alexander Poleev, psychotherapist, sexologist, candidate of medical Sciences, Professor of the Institute of psychoanalysis: "a few months after the man and woman began to live together, there comes the so-called secondary merger (the primary was for most people in the period when the mother nursed their chest). This means that the body of the partner is perceived as a continuation of his. There goes modesty and intimate relationships become more relaxed. This result is crowned year of marriage. After five years of marriage in men usually occurs marital boredom. Forgotten intoxication honeymoon, the desire for the wife fell. It's all about the physiology. The thing is that during intercourse the woman's skin produces a hormone that increases male potency. Over the years, the husband gets used to this hormone passion, he excites him less and less. My wife is a very different situation. The woman is well adapted to the constant partner and experiencing him more pleasure than, for example, during a random connections. This is not the last role is played by the fact that she sleeps with her husband in his apartment, in his bed, on his own ironed linen.




After 10 years of marriage, both spouses may come a period called "sexual desert". They have sex at most once or twice a month, because cold to each other. A week or two helps change the image - for example, the wife will lose weight, you paint the hair in a different color. Sometimes intimate life enlivened only during a joint holiday - on holiday people relax. To spice up married sex can and love the game.




20 years later after the wedding the couple already perceive each other as relatives. Sexual relations with his wife away on the twenty-second plan. Man looking for a young partner. And if he can get the so-called supergarden (i.e. one that has a strong pleasure and powerful orgasmic discharge), then the marriage may burst at the seams".




According to the magazine "Atmosphere", "Sex in marriage"

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