Every parent, regardless of raising your child only a few years or a lifetime, makes a lot of conclusions and sets certain rules education.
Many consider important and even necessary in the education of rigor on the part of parents and the obedience of the child ("Do what you're told! I know better! ").
But to force a child to do some things just can't, if you don't want to have a negative impact on his psyche or health.
Even if you think that you are acting for the benefit of the child, do not force it to do the following things:
1. To lie. Including things ("Tell me no! "). And not only because lying is generally wrong. If your child will relate to lie as something trivial and will lie to other people, then sooner or later he will lie to you too. And you do not even will be able to understand, because acting with experience honed to perfection.
2. There, when the child is not hungry. Yes, there are rules for which pediatricians recommend to feed a child of a certain age. But these norms are not so great as it seems the most caring mothers. And needless to say that all children are different from each other. And even the same child at different ages eats differently, some more, some less willingly. Our bodies are designed so that they warn us about when we need to eat and when to drink. To teach a child to correctly recognize these signals is the task of a parent who wants to have a healthy baby, and not to cram it into a porridge or soup at any cost.
3. To be the person the child is not
. If your child is, say, shy, get over it and accept it. Don't force it to be (or seem) sociable, if by its nature it is impossible, or if the child is not suffering from his shyness. The same goes for overly active, moving, noisy children. Yes, they are hard, but let them be such, what is their nature. And let your baby know that you love him the way he is and not for his idea of what it should be.
4. To apologize for some unknown reason. I all the time hear on the Playground shouting some mommy: "Immediately apologize! ". And the kid dutifully obeys, not having the slightest idea that he apologizes and who needs it. An apology is only mandatory, but obscure ritual, don't have no kindness, no tact, no regrets. Therefore, before demand an apology, at least take the trouble to explain to the kid for what he needs to apologize.
5. To shake hands with strangers. To take from them sweets, toys or money. Don't know, maybe this is only my paranoia, but I don't like when children begin to engage in intimate conversation absolutely unfamiliar people or treat them with candy. Therefore, the rule red riding hood: "don't talk to strangers! " I vaccinated child from early childhood.
6. To be friends with someone they don't like. Even if you are best friends with the mother of another child, this does not mean that your child should also friends with this family. And endure when he teased, break his toys or pull hair just because you don't want to quarrel with the mother of the offender. Friends themselves, walk along the shops and in the movies, drink tea together, and the child grant to be friends with whomever he wants.
7. To drastically change their habits.
No matter whether it is to refuse the bottle, to sleep in a separate bed or to stop sucking the nipple. In order to change the baby must be "Mature". Transitions from the old to the new should be smooth and gradual.
8. To put the child on a strict diet to get to fast or to punish food. Yes, there are overweight children, but hardly because of this you should always deny them candy or chips. Do cult of food and to add, from diets. Forbidden fruit is known to be sweet. If you want to control or limit any products that are harmful to the child, do not keep them at home, do not expose it once again to the temptations, explain to your child the principles on which he needs to eat, but not categorically forbid these products, unless, of course, we are not talking about severe cases of allergies.
9. To stay where he is uncomfortable.
When I was little, I couldn't stand to stay the night at grandma's, despite my love for her. After half an hour I desperately wanted to go home, the bed seemed uncomfortable, the situation is unusual, I was even hate to use someone else's bathroom. I felt unwanted and abandoned all. If your child is experiencing similar feelings, then you don't need to force him to spend the night in an unfamiliar place. Of course, sometimes parents just need to have a free evening, but instead to send somewhere child, it is best to ask your grandmother or another adult to stay in your home.
10. To do what they do poorly.
I urge you to educate people, lowering his hands at the slightest failure, but if your child after months of training still cannot consistently stand on skates, but still hates it, then maybe you need to replace the figure skating at the school of music, as you would not want to be a mother figure skater champion of the world. Endless failures will bring the child a loser complex. Conversely, the slightest luck will inspire him to further efforts and hard work. Better to be a good handball player than a bad player, even if the second sport is much more prestigious than the first. Let the child make the choice.
In any case, remember that your child is not only YOUR child, but also an independent little person. The earlier a child learns to make his own decisions, the sooner he will learn to take responsibility for their actions.
Photo adigea.aif.ru and tyvcentre.ru
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