There are different circumstances. People can go to learn, to take on a long trip, go to the army, to find a job in another city, and now in connection with the crisis in such cases there will be more. What to do: to break off the relationship because of the prospects they have a very vague? Or continue to develop them in the hope that someday you will be together?
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However, only people perceive this situation as exceptional. And in the U.S., for example, 700 000 people live in different cities with my family or other half, and most of them successfully build their relations. So the rumors about the inevitability of the death of love in separation is greatly exaggerated.
In the waiting room
Although, of course, when the lovers are forced to live in different cities or countries, their relationship is subjected to a severe test. There is a danger:
To begin to idealize their partner: from afar all the positive qualities seem exaggerated and disadvantages - only "sweet flavor". Especially, if people had met before parting, or not at all each other had not seen - for example, met on the Internet.
Become a victim of love, reaching beyond the horizon". With someone who is far, every meeting is a holiday: flowers, recognition, fantastic sex. If "hooked" on this romantic needle, then it will be difficult to build normal relations with their daily problems, the pressure of life, mood swings, fatigue and poor health.
To start to be jealous and to irritate myself paintings betrayal of a loved one. Somehow, it is believed that the man physiologically cannot long be faithful in parting, although any adult known alternative ways relieve sexual tension. There is also the danger that you will begin to be jealous and to require that you take a mobile phone even in the bathroom and in the toilet.
To turn his existence in the "waiting room": to believe that life is those two weeks (month, day) when you are together. Spend all my time on the phone, in front of the computer hoping to hear from a loved one.
To make his infinite separation. Still, this condition is not normal, and it would be good to know after how much time of your separation will come to an end.
Magical "but"
They say that separation is to love as wind is to fire: it extinguishes the weak, the big balloons. All these disadvantages can lead to advantages for a pair that feels real strong feelings for each other.
Begin to idealize the partner? But in parting you will be able to find in your favorite those good traits, which may not have noticed in everyday life. By the way, recent studies say that is a slight exaggeration of the merits of its second half strengthens marriage.
Your relationship consist of one romance? But you are not in danger to annoy each other. And also, then, what to tell your grandchildren about your flights to each other through half the country, about the daily e-mails (by the way, keep them), about the unexpected SMS accordance with the Declaration of love.
Torment of jealousy? But you will have to maintain a certain tension in the relationship. As you know, the man we have to fight for the heart of a lady. But, easy to jealousy grew into paranoia and destroyed relationships, always keep the subtext: my many were made, but I chose you.
Will all the time to think about the relationship with your beloved? But you have a unique opportunity to understand yourself: do you love him, whether you want to stay with him all his life? Sometimes it is useful to move away a few steps and look at the situation from the outside.
Your separation seems endless? But this is a good test of relationship strength. True feelings at the time of parting only aggravated. And easy love is falling apart. And finally, without separation there would be meetings!
Personal experience
Tatiana R.:
I've had long distance relationships. The first time I spent quite a long time met with a young man, and then went to study in another city for two thousand kilometers...
I was sure that I love. But, apparently, worked the lever under the title "out of sight, out of mind". In General, when I returned six months later, we parted. We just separation were not ready.
Good lesson, but not salutary. Because exactly one year later I stepped on the same rake: met with a young man from another city. But with him it was more than serious. And we both knew that we were going to.
Three years we have supported distance relationships. And today, I am sure you can be far away physically, but stay close spiritually. .
But we still parted. No, love has not wavered. But there was another important component of the relationship. Yes, each of our meeting was a real treat. But life cannot consist of only holidays...
At some point we realized that it is difficult for us to understand each other. We changed under the influence of our environment - whether we like it or not. But because long time no see, we have not adopted these changes in each other. And gradually drifted away...
Alexander O.:
If there is love, then separation is bullshit. Three years ago I moved to the States, my girlfriend stayed in Russia. But we didn't want to lose each other and continued to talk on the phone, wrote letters to each other via e-mail. A year ago, my beloved came to me, and we now have a wonderful family. A similar story happened in other Russian guys who work with me: all brought their wives, and loved ones in a year, two, three... And no one died from the "physiological needs".
Margarita M:
There was a brief holiday romance is just one day. I left little hope for a sequel. But he called. And then he began to call every day. I already could not imagine life without his voice. In a month we met, spent a whole week together. Everything was just fine, but after why the relationship went sour. Maybe we are real, not imagined, disappointed each other... the Calls became less frequent, there was no warmth in his voice. We decided to leave. I was very worried. A year has passed. I came to St. Petersburg, where he lived, on a business trip. Called him. Since then it's been two years, we live together and very happy.
Valentina D.:
Insoluble situations there. My husband worked in a foreign company and a few months spent in a business trip in Sweden. Yes, we called each other, he wrote, but the relationship began to deteriorate. We understood that this can not continue. No job is neither my favorite nor paid is not worth the sacrifice. Career is good, but people close more important. Husband now takes another position. Money became less, but we are together.
Natalia K.:
I had no special feelings for someone with whom I met. He seemed kind of boring, ordinary. When I went to France to study, we have agreed not to keep each other fidelity, to act according to the circumstances. But here he began his writing... And I learned what a fine, warm, incredibly kind person. After, I returned to Russia (although there were plans to remain in France), now we are together...
How to keep love apart?
Do as many reminders about each other: surround yourself with photographs, where the two of you, Souvenirs presented to each other. When you are visiting a loved one, leave a secret message (for example, in the drawer of his Desk, which he will find no immediately.
Periodically preheat your relationship. Send a surprise gift - no reason, just to indicate: "I think of you". Use only e-mail - letter, hand-written and sent in an envelope, can be very touching. Call a friend at that time, when he goes to sleep, and wish good night, sweet dreams.
Interest in the life of a loved one and tell me about her. Not just at the level of "how are you? - OK! "and with details, details.
Well, if one knows the smell of your perfume. The receptors responsible for the sense of smell, are near the part of the brain responsible for memory. When he feels a familiar smell, his imagination will occur your way.
Think about it. Can believe or not, but the lovers are surprisingly able to feel each other at a distance.
Try to see each other more often whenever possible. Then you will discover that your man appeared one or the other habit that he now thinks so, and not otherwise.
And most importantly - believe what you will endure the test of separation. And in those moments when a loved begins to doubt the reality of your relationship, do not be discouraged by yourself and keep it.
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