Anyone and any age do not want every day to explain, to justify, to listen to instructions, to answer endless questions. But is it possible to avoid all this, surrounded by parents and friends? Of course, you can! Forgive their parents imperfection and begin to respect them. Not really delving into the study of their mistakes, acknowledge that perhaps they were not "perfect" for us, but tried to become them. And so they respect us, we definitely need to learn to respect them.
In the education (no matter who) are prohibited techniques: insults, humiliation, hysteria, orders, pressure... will Never forget it. Respect first!
Accept the situation for what it is. If we can't change it... change it! Realizing that we, too, are in charge of how old people become our parents: despotic bores or pretty creative. But before you get good parents...
Become good children. Learn to listen, hear and understand the advice of their parents, no matter how archaic they did not seem. As parents, like anyone else, wish us only good. They want their continuation was like them, but it was more talented, more successful and happier. And their sincerity could not be doubted.
If you believe the conclusions of scientists, only to 36-40 years from the judgments of man are of the highest indices of maturity. This means that at least up to thirty years... makes sense diligently accumulating life experience, to listen to those it already has.
And yet do not forget that the transfer of life experience - the most important task of all parents. And something really can be valuable for us. Will recuperen ears!
Agree that it is convenient for us to accept help from parents. Then daddy will throw money, then things mother in order will. But the giver is entitled and demand. And if we want to be older and free, we must learn to solve their problems themselves. We have a choice: to continue to take care or to choose freedom? Or - or!
Take responsibility and care for themselves and others, because I want freedom. Not from my family is the most precious thing we have! And from excessive care. And so, it is time to stop allowing parents to maintain control and to teach us.
Our motivation to have a serious talk with your parents. Thank them sincerely and tenderly because they have such world. He taught make my bed, cook eggs, introduced some "Golden rules", type: "take care of the honor with young", "all comes back like a boomerang", "do unto others as you would like to treat you"...
Pluck up the courage and tell them that their child has grown. We begin their own adult life, and today, right now, all the relatives are obliged to keep your distance and respect our choice, even if he hadn't understood.
And the theme that "they lived for us, nothing was spared, health it put..." shut once and for all. Yes, we are very grateful for such a gift, but it was their personal choice.
Proving his point, will be convincing. Will not crack on the Creek, will be reasonable and logical. It is necessary that they felt in us the power of a grown-up person. It is not easy, but we can handle.
And let's not be lazy to regularly remind them that we have our own dreams, plans, projects, about which we do not yet all can say, but we know where we are going. It will ease them.
Living by their own mind, will do everything possible in order not to injure the heart of the parents. Will protect them from unnecessary information from the problems that still will have to decide for yourself. But let's be sincere in matters that will affect them.
Realizing that their main concern is our health, we will not take their eyes to drink all kinds of trash, pulling in his mouth all that came to sit a day behind a computer... They so zealously cared about our health, giving the best of everything, and it is natural that they are painful to watch as we Samogitians.
Releasing from custody of them, will help them not to feel lonely. They, like us, also do not need the type of care and hypercontrol. Just don't be able to keep away from them. Our care will not be regarded as a betrayal, if they are released we will help you to fill out something interesting.
While they were busy earning their daily bread, while they study with us at school, rushed with us on the circles and sections... And did not notice that the world around them has changed. They listen, eat, dress up the old fashioned way and have completely forgotten how to relax.
If we live in interesting and active life, then it will be easier for us to involve them in the world of their interests. Will talk with them about their Hobbies, show photos of their workshops, tours, master classes... once they have formed our tastes, now we have the answer for them.
Earlier on our intelligent, successful study "tried" parents. Now it is exactly the opposite. Because, as far as "advanced" and our modern parents will not "judge" about us.
Extend the boundaries of their knowledge about the modern world, will uvlechen them the wonders of new technologies. Teach the mother not only off, but to use a computer. Infect her with the idea of buying a personal laptop, showing all of its chic features.
What struck us, made us laugh, impressed on YouTube, it can be interesting to father, mother, and grandmother... Tear them from the usual news, cookers and sit there, even if they are somewhat reluctant, the interest will certainly appear.
We will educate parents because only them with "a light heart" we entrust our children. For many children and grandchildren of the elderly become a burden, a burden, a burden, such as headache, when the children themselves were for them. We will treat education creatively, consciously, effortlessly, with humor... And we will have a completely different story!
We shall be interested in their Affairs, desires and fulfill their rare requests. It's not so much they want and not so frequently turn to us for help. It is so nice to fulfill someone's dreams!
Become their best advisers. Find an hour or two a week just to sit with them for tea. And not only out of gratitude for what they have done for us, but also because this contact cannot be interrupted. Regardless, we live separately or together, we should be comfortable and interested in each other.
This, of course, convenient - to no one "answer". But what a sense of security gives you the knowledge that someone who cares, prays for us and will always accept us the way we are.
Will appreciate what you have. Because man loses something that is not appreciated. How fortunate that we have them, our young or not very old. These are our parents and we won! No one will take their place, when they would not.
"... everyone is worthy of love, all were delicate babies will become frail elderly". L. Petrushevskaya
How hard to live when the old grumbler, criticizing everyone and everything or unhappy in their own lives, the sad loser, all the lost opportunities of blaming yourself or your loved ones...
And how fortunate to have a wonderfully alive, interested, energetic (if not in body, soul), positive assistants, in any case support and assistance. Everything is in our hands!
It's funny to see an old woman walking on the market in the cool sneakers, obviously preterm her grandchildren. Even funnier when octogenarian grandma communicate with their nonresident grandchildren via Skype or grandpa "spirit Contra". These "cool" old people can be and our family, if we will take care of their upbringing.
Source:
School of life
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