According to the observations of psychologists, a teenager harbingers of crisis often don't look terrible. This is why parents for them not paying much attention. And very surprised when it turns out that the child and the whole family, it requires serious treatment...At the reception were parents with a young man of thirteen years. Three-year-old daughter they left the house. Father, as it often does, got in the side, as if he came just to spend home. The head of the family in conversation did not participate, it had to be involved, to include in the conversation - he enthusiasm showed. Mom active, long-winded, as they say entertainers, "holds the space". The boy is tall, ruddy, with down on the lips and quite masculine in appearance. However, throughout the meeting, which lasted about an hour, it's quiet and non-stop crying.
By not cope
The claims in the statement of moms, a lot, and they are quite typical properties. The boy does not want to learn, the lessons will not plant, interested in nothing, at home does not help, capricious, inventor, not fit to live, three-year-old sister and something about yourself better able to take care of.
Interested in long adults began to notice that something is wrong - because the son is already in the seventh grade? Why is first turned for help to a specialist only now?
Proved, before mother and father tried to help themselves. And punished and shamed, and helped the whole family lessons did, and to pay for mark tried all in vain. Well, now there is a new attack - the boy became "aggressive". I ask how and in what way. After this question the mother seemed to have changed. Lost its vitality, confidence in the rightness of the head. The voice trembled and she looked very helpless: it is visible, talked about the fact that it really is depressing.
Attack on flowers
It turns out that almost every day a guy came out of school, blasted a home greenhouse. Breeding exotic houseplants - a real mother's passion. The family is ensured, so that the home garden is arranged according to all the rules and a lot of money. The collection of plants is diverse, with a large number of rarities. She is the subject of constant worries and pride of the mistress.
Now, in a few months whenever started hearing about another student in the school, in response to parent reproaches and threats the boy deliberately destroyed the plants. He pulled them out of the pots, throwing the ground, tearing off the leaves, and in General tried to keep the damage was caused to the maximum. And then I locked myself in my room and sobbed. Similar scenes flowed rapidly, overburden all participants infinitely often lasted until late at night.
In the morning to get to school, there was no way. Reconciliation with tears and promises to reform occurred during the day. Long angry at his son's impossible, it was obvious that he repents and suffers what he had done. Most parents Scarecrow, when he blasted plants that looked like a fool, pale, teeth bared, anything doesn't see and hear. If you try to stop him, escaped with his incredible strength, able to hit hard.
Under the guise of bully
Well what is there to say? The boy was clearly suffering from acute crisis disorder. What was happening to him, the masked symptoms of adolescent depression, which are very difficult to diagnose. It begins often with reduction achievement. Adult child raising, punish, blame, and often receive aggressive outbursts.
The situation in this case was good: he was appointed the required medical therapy in combination with family therapy, work was carried out with the whole family, including a three-year sister. The life of this family and the condition of the teenager is normal.
Analyzing the events, I would draw the attention of readers for a few moments. It is encouraging that the parents decided to seek the help of a therapist, not the police. Indeed, many might consider such behavior as hooliganism. It is a pity that they did not come to the specialist before the symptoms of the disorder were not so destructive, and tried to cope by themselves, using educational measures.
Meticulously restoring with parents history of the disorder, we found that the onset of difficulties in school coincided with the time of occurrence of the youngest child. By the way, and flowers mother was fond of sitting at home with a baby, so the greenhouse appeared about the same time.
Meanwhile, the losing position only child in the family is a serious challenge, even in ten years, at the time of entry into the pubertal age. This time of hormonal storm, when the emotion becomes unstable mood for no reason spoiled, self-esteem crumbles, and appearance occur, not always pleasant changes.
Look without condemnation
Perhaps the crisis will pass your child, but it should be every parent. You need to be alert and wary, if you have noticed that the pupil's behaviour is clearly different from the usual. What had previously been, now does not work. First of sociable and talkative, the child keeps mum and thinks. Was fearless and relaxed, and became timid and cautious. Was the soul of any company, and now he loved solitude.
Remember that mood disorders in adolescence were likely violations of health because of reduced ability to concentrate and too much distraction from studying. So it was in our case.
I don't want to say that all the losers need treatment. But parents should be concerned if school maladjustment occurs before a successful student. And if they see that all their efforts to help to succeed, not lead. In this case, the child needs the help of experts. Unfortunately, mom and dad do not always recognize the harbingers of crisis.
As we have said, often there is nothing specific, and they manifest themselves gradually, gradually. Meanwhile, in most of these States, if the treatment was started earlier, it would be much faster and more efficient.
Author:
Wrona E., PhD, psychiatrist, psychotherapist
Source:
The health of the schoolchild
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