What happened? How to behave in this situation?
Facts and reflections
The findings of scientists studying the problems of sexual life of couples, just kill his pessimism. The majority of respondents spouses say they have sex no more than once a month. According to women, dust them blessed with time significantly faded. The impression that the range of sexual impotence. Physiologists also sometimes have to agree with this opinion.
Experts see a reason too busy and loads, constant stress - satellites of urban residents. Another claim that asexuality is a reaction to dissolute sexual life. You visit a sad thought, you would think that the husband is impotent, that most likely he had a mistress. You notice that you are of no consequence to him. If you do not want, then you don't need. How else to explain the denial of intimacy? Concerned about your quite understandable. But do not hurry up with conclusions.
Many women are concerned that the husband suddenly lost interest in sex, sexual complacency is perceived as proof that he no longer loves. But before you make such conclusion, we invite you to reflect on the common for many families, the reasons for which young men sometimes refuse to have sex.
Why husband says "no"
Excessive fatigue one of the main reasons for the weakening of sexual desire. Knowing that he will love the game, he may fear that he will not have enough desire and strength to you to meet. Perhaps he didn't want to look selfish, offering you quick sex was the only thing he is now able. Let your husband feel that you appreciate the fact that he was so tired. Believe me, he will show what he is capable of. Physical and mental ill health will also backfire on his desire. Levels of the sex hormone testosterone decreases, if the man has something hurts. Another important factor is depression. It negates every sexual desire. External signs: constant sadness, confusion, irritability, sleep disturbance, indifference to food, more frequent alcohol consumption. Often depression is there a specific reason - some external problem, not amenable to solution. It happens that a man tormented by moral dissatisfaction with their own lives. Anyway, in this situation, you need to show the utmost tact and understanding to survive.
Emotional tension. Any strong emotional impact may impair the ability to make love. Even positive emotions can play a negative role. Sometimes, even your own marriage brings newlyweds from a state of mental equilibrium, and in the wedding night, instead of lifting sexual desires, he may face the problem of insufficient erection. Or excessive agitation sometimes leads to premature ejaculation.
Aggrieved dignity. Impact on self-esteem is able to completely demoralize a man, because he feels the need to feel like the protector and breadwinner in the eyes of his beloved. His very sexual confidence is based on these standards. If an event has happened, humiliating the man, it automatically diminish and his sexy Self. He was insulted in your presence and could not answer, was uncovered his shameful secret, other similar incidents practically deprive a man of the ability to behave as before. Don't say that what happened does not matter. Has - very big. Tell me that you love him. Gradually it will return a sense of self-esteem.
Excessive protection. Most women unconsciously, gradually erode the confidence of man in himself. Seemingly harmless remarks that you go against him, trying to fix pobranie, control, perceived them as if you are incompetent and inept. From this he loses confidence in himself, feels helpless victim defeat. As you might expect from his passionate feelings, if you constantly give him to understand that he was inexperienced boy?
Not expressed anger. When you tension, try to defuse, even if you are afraid that he may say. If he will withdraw into their own anger, to overcome the consequences for him will be much harder. Let him speak and let off steam. But it happens that the reason for his anger - not you, someone else or something unrelated to you. Especially give him a chance to speak, listen to it. If he will keep his anger in yourself, under the castle will be and all the other senses. Until a man is freed from the destructive wrath, he will not be able to manifest to you sexual feelings.
Try not to do anything drastic
Sometimes the flow of urgent matters just drives a man crazy, and in the list of urgent matters and meetings sex there is no place. No wonder your business too husband no longer feels the desire to hold you in bed as much time as possible. Alas, he's always been preoccupied with how to join into a single-chain multiple scattering in different directions plans. You must understand that men are always on the first place. So they are arranged. Periodic loss of interest in sex does not mean that you no longer love. You may feel abandoned and forgotten, while he was too busy with his work. But during this period he most needed support and love. When the situation becomes clearer, he will remember how understanding you are to him, and you shall be to him even more desirable than before.
The most important thing is comfort and not calm her husband. Just let him know that you love him and ask for nothing in return. So it's faster to get rid of the inferiority complex and will gain confidence in yourself.
Author:
Myagkova, I., psychologist
Source:
My baby and I
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