When I had my first long-playing guy and quarrels ceased to become the final point in the relationship, I found that to be reconciled in bed - it is a ridiculous and ungrateful. What is really there, even a kiss in the midst of scandal to make you want to celebrate the return hook on the right. Only that he insulted you, a moment ago you were angry, and suddenly... sex? Yes it is a perversion. Masochism!
And yet, I regularly hear from friends that the phrase "We loved putting up in bed." Well, dares to protest...
First. Sex does not solve, and covers conflict
One of my ex-boyfriend was a fan of the saying "If the girl does not have, it can go berserk". And actively used it in moments of strife. "Why don't you fulfilled my request!? " - I resented his next mistake. And he grinned: "Not bouziès, the woman, now I'll calm down". And, frankly, some time abused me, love, for obscenity. But it lasted not long.
Alas, not as we ordinary people, so that the friction force, the struggle languages and reciprocating motion suddenly freed us from resentment to partner. Temporarily (a few minutes) to delay the torment - easily. But after bed games, wiped his lips and his breath, there you have a desire to cling to the chest of the man who half an hour ago has offended you indifference and apologized for the error, and to confess her love for him to the grave? Hardly.
At the same time to remind the person with whom you have just experienced orgasms that "actually you're inconsiderate and selfish, and you've hurt me" does not work. First, look like a fool. Secondly, there is the risk of running into a continuation of the "soothing" bed Banquet. And resentment in the soul remains. And it will be hanging stone, sly poisoning your relationship.
Second. Sex after a quarrel can be unpleasant
Its so simple. Yes. Turns out that the partner smells bad, is not moving to the beat and generally on the ceiling (the wall, the headboard of the bed, the floor under the refrigerator) you have already counted all the dust.
The reason bed boredom and hostility is justified, and to search for it, you do not need to contact mossy stuff on sexology. Stress is a poison for libido. And when the overly aggressive guy my friend Tanya asked her "why are you with me no end? "once she found the strength to reply: "Because every day we fight! "
Yes, the constant adrenaline, tears and family squabbles brought on her depression, which for a long time not allowed to relax during sex. And Tanya had to RUB sacred places, Seimas, yawning and wishing I quickly go to sleep.
Third. Bed absorbs negative
For a long time. And subsequent sex it will be associated with quarrels. Funny? Possible. But, nevertheless, if you listen to lords psychologists and a little dig in their own world-view, it is clear that the conflict situation hit us in memory is not alone, but together with the environment, events, and people. That is, after his scandal with noble and samav conflict during carnal pleasures, we force our brain automatically be entered into the filing Cabinet reflex "sex quarrel".
It is not surprising that such cerebral rape then follows in stiffness, which my friend Masha describes as: "After the recent squabbles in the bedroom I started terribly shy husband. Every time we lie beneath the blanket, I remember his distorted anger face. Though the day we are all quite normal, at night I can't overcome disgust".
Fourth. Do not fake moral responsibility physical
"I'm shaking from anger, not from passion! " - and I was the man after the rough hassle. And he said in response: "Yes, of course, sweetheart, punish me! " and drags you into bed, holding the buttock and the left breast. Sound familiar? Yes, unfortunately, this fate befalls women, a couple of times succumbed to the advances of her husband after an argument.
Indeed, men more quickly forget the conflict, and for sex im not mandatory close psychological contact and a friendly attitude. "My wife was offended, thinks the man will take off his pants and make her feel good". And makes.
Only he knows that your manicure, blood stuck him in the back, sharp movements and growl "I hate you, bitch" - is not a sign awaken in you a sexual tigress. Most likely, you are now the angry video that tries to prove leadership.
But, alas, do not be surprised if in the future your favorite will apologize for the conflict in this way. Left in ignorance, what is the cause of discord.
Fifth. A man gets used to "love the enemy"
It's the truth. And is willing to confirm my friend Olga, who complains that her common-law husband has been incredibly stingy with compliments and kind words. A history of numerous quarrels and squabbles.
The usual method of treatment is to hush up the process and to have sex, as if nothing had happened. As a result, according to Oli, husband not worry that it is deprived of attention and affection. Moreover, she adds dark whisper, "it seems that excites".
Well, the explanation Olya situation can easily be found in publications of the same sexologists. And they say: "Man is the conqueror, the male and the winner, which is nice to experience hostility on the part of women, to take her by force and to overcome resistance".
Of course, people are not male and not female. However, to get used to the fact that "to seduce a lady is optional, without it even better", a man might with ease. Therefore, to put up in bed is not just wrong. It's dangerous! And threatens to ruin the relationship.
Why then there is the notorious "reconciliation in bed"? There is much more healthy way to make it up TO bed. And then to consolidate the reconciliation stormy night. Temperamental surge boosts feelings.
The man with whom you have recently argued, a little bit away and, as they say, became a stranger. Dreamed about sex with a stranger? Please! Light version available. And if the quarrel deeply sunk your soul, tell the man: "I have bad mood, and I'm not ready to make love. Come morning, when passions have cooled? " If he's a loving man, would agree.
But it's all the options when the guilty man. But what if the cause of the conflict - are you? You can, of course, also try to persuade him to the intima. Of course, to receive a portion of the female body obydennomu men will be pleased. However, if he would be so gentle, as usual? Or, on the contrary, the rhythmically timeet owed and going to play next? How do we know and isn't it better not to risk starting a physical reconciliation with massage and hugs.
And yet even better - don't fuss with your favorite lady. And let instead of "sweet curse - just gratifying in your life will be just a pleasant joy.
Author:
Dorogov E.
Source:
Леди@mail.ru
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