Thursday, December 4, 2014

Quarrel "correctly"!


Family quarrels are an integral part of married life. If you don't know the "right" way to fight, and don't know how to mend relations after the hassle, consider that your marriage is doomed to fail.


Quarrel


Photo liveinternet


How to establish a relationship after a fight: why cute curse?


A crisis can occur at any pair, the main thing to understand how to build relationships. Creating a strong marriage is a mutual process. This takes into account the interests of both parties, so much depends on the conflict partners in the personal qualities and relationships. Psychologists believe that the disorder of relationship the couple has for 1, 3 and 7 the year of living together. To avoid conflicts and to build relationships in the family need to find out, first of all, the cause of strife. After that, it will become obvious how you can establish a relationship after an argument.


How to make peace and build relationships with your loved


Therefore, each pair should remember one rule: final any quarrel should be quick and simple reconciliation. In any case, you cannot leave any understatements and resentment "for later".


If you keep it, most importantly, the rule, then quickly to make peace and establish relationships will help the following:


Cold calculation and love diplomacy will tell you how to improve relations after a quarrel


Learn to look at the root of the problem. Think about the cause of the quarrel, if it is trivial, then don't waste time and nerves.


For example, if the quarrel happened for nothing, to be discussed will not be the subject of conflict, but directly the relationship between the conflicting parties. In this case it is possible not to take any serious steps to improve relations. Such quarrels often arise from the fact that the partners simply got tired of each other and after "exit pair" everything will return to normal.


If the cause is serious, then act immediately. Collect arguments in my favour, and clearly find out for yourself what you want from this quarrel, than you can sacrifice for the sake of reconciliation and what lessons should be drawn from the conflict your partner.


Anger is a bad adviser. If you want to build relationships with loved ones, in no cases do not tell him anything rashly. Remember when passions about his mom, don't compare with friends and or dysfunctional relatives knocks at the weakest point. Partner this can be perceived as a betrayal, because to a quarrel he trusted you, and now you took advantage of his weakness.


In addition, when the showdown is best to avoid phrases like: "you don't love me anymore, why does it". No need to develop partner in guilt. Never threaten a rupture of relations, as in his statement: "I am leaving you! " you are likely to hear: "good riddance"!


Denial, which will help to improve relations


Do not be judgmental, don't put ultimatums partner. This tactic is unlikely to help you build relationships, most likely it will lead to the opposite.


Do not throw tantrums. Tears, really powerful weapon for manipulation, but if you don't know how to use them in perfection, it is unlikely it will benefit you.


Also, remember, only in the beginning, your partner will do everything to stop this "flood". Over time, the effectiveness of this technique weakens. In the best cases, he will lie to you or just run away, not to see you cry.


You should not insult each other. The more often you will use offensive phrases in the address of his beloved, the more chances to hear it in return.


Learn diplomacy. Never quote hurtful words that he told you. Better say: "I am very hurt to hear it from you." To establish relationships help of phrases like: "I understand you, but, "I appreciate your point of view, but", "for both of us it would be better if", then can argue their point of view on the problem. These phrases demonstrate that you are ready to dialogue. If he aims for reconciliation is not acceptable for you, then pretend that you agree, but slide counterclaims. Then both sides will have to compromise in order to establish a relationship.


How to build relationships, if after a quarrel ensued a protracted silence?


Sometimes after a huge argument people can not talk whole days, and even weeks. This is not the best situation. Usually win the game coy women. Men, as a rule, unable to withstand a long silence, and ready to confess to anything and do what you want. However, such an offense they remember for a long time and not miss when convenient "to take revenge".


So never hesitate to be the first to take a step towards reconciliation. The main thing that you have managed to establish a relationship after a fight!






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