Like most single mothers, I absolutely did not intend it to become. Quite the contrary, I thought you would marry, give birth to two children, will live happily ever after, as bequeathed to me all Hollywood Directors. But my family did not begin with her husband and children. So the love I have yet to find.Probably, it is necessary to say at once that I have no regrets, and if you had to make this choice again, I would do the same. But if you, like me, for one reason or another, remained with the child and without a loved one, then you probably wouldn't find it.
Fear
Fear is something that will long haunt the survivor of divorce or simply separation. You have experienced disappointment. Explanations with their families. And even the question: "where's my daddy? " Do you want to experience again all of this? That's really unlikely.
It is this fear once again to be disappointed you have to overcome first. And most importantly, fear once again to disappoint her baby. To combat this fear is difficult. But you can promise to yourself never to go against your heart and not to be "not so" guy just to quickly create a new family and find the baby daddy. The fact is that it pushes us into Affairs with unsuitable men.
Now you have to be more attentive to their feelings, more sensitively to listen to him longer to look attentively at the fans.
The girl with the trailer
You doubt that fans will be? I also doubt. But the first of them appeared next to me when my daughter was three months old, and since then I have not felt deprived of male attention. The biggest shock for me was to read in the fifth year of suomesta on one forum that the phrase "the girl with the trailer. For five years I did not even know that someone can have - self-moms - so called. My little sunshine is the trailer? Rather it is my basic set! Upset I? A single drop. It turned out that the child is a great filter against men who do not deserve my attention.
By the way, my friends from Germany say that in Europe the presence of the child the woman is an advantage in the eyes of men. Imagine: no pregnant moods, or experiences during childbirth, no sleepless nights at the crib of the infant, nor the first (and therefore most terrible for the parents) of children's colds and temperature. Ready family, from which you can get a pleasure and a minimum of problems. If you are determined to find love, always remember that the benefits in your position a lot more than it seems at first glance, and not be afraid.
Guilt
"Why man, you now have a child". It is said that one friend after the birth of my daughter. It was the first fantastic stupidity in my personal collection of the most stupid things. You also probably heard a lot. From "a woman with a child is not wanted, so don't count on some kind of mythical love" to "how can you take time away from your child for the sake of another man".
Remember, the people who say this are trying to cause you to have feelings of guilt because it is convenient for them. They will try to do it more than once. Mom, releasing you on a date, after a couple of hours will start to call and say that the child is naughty, chuligani, not eating, and in General, I guess, ill. The nanny will be pressed lips and demand increase for your evening absences. A friend who can't get pregnant for that year, will tell a couple of stories from his psychologist, as children did not take "somebody else." And each of them will make a hint that you can be a better mother. Understand this: those who are trying to develop in you the feeling of guilt, just convenient that you were weak and dependent. Be self-sufficient: you are a good mother, but this does not mean that you must stop being a woman. Sooner or later the child will grow, and he's got his own life, his family, his children. And what will you have?
First dates and other troubles
Actually the main problem begins after you have met the man with whom I want to continue the relationship for longer than one night. How to tell him that you have a baby? How to balance work, family, and starting a novel? How to explain to him that your life is all planned and spontaneous meetings - not for you? What a weekend is Holy, and you spend with your baby? That night you prefer still at home, and if he remains with you, you have to make it look good to the last and sleep in different rooms? He needs some time to be a friend of the family, so as not to hurt the child, if you do not work?
Well, if for a few days per week the child takes the father, otherwise you are in a relationship there will always be three, and it really complicates the situation. Willy-nilly, you begin to understand the married men who lead mistresses, they have to get out pretty much the same.
But on the other hand, all these complexities is a great test of strength. If a man will not be frightened with the prospect to find the answers to all these questions together, then he's the one who you need. The worst thing you can do is try to hide any problems from him in the hope that later it somehow formed. Experience shows that the "self" and "some" does not happen. So, don't be afraid to voice what you stand for and what problems lurk. If a person is interested in you, he will not run away without looking back only because he for some time will have to consider your circumstances and to adapt to them. Men who are ready for it, actually around a lot, just open your heart and let someone take care of you!
They succeeded!
When Vadim called me on a first date, I immediately said that I would have to take his daughter with him, as even for a couple of hours not one to leave. Of course, I was worried how everything goes. But he immediately became involved in the situation, chose a restaurant with a good games room, overfeed daughter ice cream, despite my protests, taught her to make boats out of tissues. In the end, the evening was a lot of fun. After that we immediately chose places where it will be fun not only for us but also for the child. So all good-bye and walked three, and six months later he made us an offer. Later he said that he was even pleased with this development, he was able to immediately see which family we would get if I am a mother and as we will ujimasa three. And the result did not disappoint, we can live together for five years and is now expecting a second child. Catherine, 28 years.
Igor was a friend of our family, but never showed me attention. So I was very surprised when after my divorce, he began to go to us with my son. Did not even realize that he cares for me, and when understood, laughed for a long time. He's younger than me by six years, pretty promising. I'm residenca with the child for thirty. I immediately told him that we will not succeed. But Igor did not give up, for almost a year he had achieved my location. Only then I believe that he is very serious. This year we celebrated the seventh anniversary of our wedding. Anastasia, age 39
The new job the first thing I put on the table a photograph of my daughter. But that bring up her one, not spread. Why? So, when a colleague from another Department on a regular basis call me at lunch, I did not think that it stands for something more than ordinary human sympathy. We really were very easy to communicate with, he asked me about my life, about children, about my Hobbies. Only the subject of her husband walked carefully, so I was yelling. And then on the new year party, he confessed to me in love and said that he was ready for all that I "beat" my husband. You know, this is me and conquered that he is ready to fight for my attention. You should have seen his face when I said that I'm not really married! So happy I have never seen. The next day he moved me with things, we will not leave for two years. However, in marriage I do not want to go, I still find it hard to believe that it happens. But Peter says that sooner or later he still drag me down the aisle, at least in order to officially adopt our Varushka and to be her father, not only in life, but according to documents. Nadia, age 26.
Author:
Botvinia L
Source:
Леди@mail.ru
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