Anticritical
Controversial and offensive situation: almost all my life we spend on it to prove to myself and others that we are worthy of respect, honor and, in General, are full members of the society. But, reaching for something, don't know how to defend himself from the barrage of criticism that falls on us. In such moments often forgotten philosophical claims about what "stones throw only those trees that are hanging fruit to knock them down". But instead consider yourself fertile tree, we hide in a kennel unconscious, getting out there to ponder: what is wrong with you again, where is my mistake and how to fix it? But even those who did not really doing too blamed for laziness. This is because in every human well-developed ability to criticize the middle. She, of course, there is a useful function: it is the watchful eye watching our security, like a filter that does not pass through itself that could potentially harm the psychological or physical health. But often it takes a vote of inertia, that is, in those moments when we were not in danger. Yes, and speaks aloud, aloud, that hurts, of course, those to whom it is directed.
In Russia there is no culture of encouragement and compliments, we actively learn this from the West. Several generations were occupied with their own survival, and is still the main on the agenda for us "housing problem" - how could you have a sense of tact and diplomacy? Well, at least not anywhere we are rude, but only through the times.
No people do not discuss, there are only different reactions to criticism. And it is not a matter of self-confidence or self-esteem. Quick response and training is what is needed to ping pengovsky ball of someone's disapproval did not get right in our forehead. The best response to any unflattering feedback will, of course, the irony. But not like the joke: "I sober up tomorrow, and you legs curves! "
To laugh at on a
The irony without cynicism and sarcasm, so to speak, with love is a great art, which just need to learn. If you always take the allegations seriously, then certainly in a short time you can Svanetia, to ignore is to hurt a loved one of his inattention to his senses and make a joke is to respond, not belittling yourself, but not increasing the importance of expressing or situation. If people laugh at yourself, you interlocutors it is perceived as invulnerable and at the same time respect: "He really listened and understood what I wanted to say, he took notice of my discontent".
Anticomplex
Many complexes can be avoided in time laughing at themselves. All men are difficulties with potency excitement, stress and other factors, but this time, instead of lamenting over his grief in private, it is easier to defuse the situation by saying about the "fakir, which was drunk, and the focus therefore is not managed", or "I'm not a magician, and just learning" etc.
The problem becomes such only after it was named. Before that, there's just the fact that something happened, someone's harsh words. You react based on its internal evaluation system "good - bad". What falls under the label of perception "good", is seen positively, under "bad" is a negative, something new causes stupor, as if it had happened the first time, it is unclear to what to include.
The labels "good" or "bad", are directly related to self-identification: "if I'm on a cool car, then I'm successful is good", "if I was in the bus going to work the night shift at McDonalds is bad". We have not yet learned to value and respect themselves just on the fact of existence. Each of us has its own vulnerabilities, we know where we're wrong, but quite another thing when someone said it to us.
To stop this vicious circle of discontent, the best thing to laugh at your weak spots.
Just at the moment when you react mentally press pause and look at the incident from a different angle.
Want to be the enemy?
Carefree smiling man on the street puzzling coming from work smiling cheerful husband is suspicious. It is a peculiarity of our mentality - "Begone, old girl, I'm sad". Sufferers and martyrs will long enjoy another respect, because the nobility of feelings deeply embedded in the collective unconscious of the Russian people. The cult of suffering is actively promoted in our society, because it is still sad cheaper than rejoice. It's like under communism: all the same, and the winner is the one who has more problems then the relatives of the dead, the wife is sick.
It has long been known that to spoil the mood easier, than to improve. As a psychological experiment, one participant was asked to stand on a chair, so more than half of the audience wanted to let volunteer, to avoid showing through and did not differ from the others, the others wanted to turn away, to not corn their eyes, and only two were able to stand next to him. So looks like the problem cheerful person in our society, and especially in the family. Try only laugh at the fact that his wife broke a nail, angry over the overflowing trash bucket or delays in the theatre. But to fall in despair is not the answer. Laughter on his person other people perceive as bullying, because for them, their problems are very serious. Many believe that laughter causes something insignificant, trifling, and above the critical need to lament with a serious face, falling into the Duma. And no one comes to mind that when they are watching a Comedy, they laugh at how on-screen heroes fall, wringing her hands, feet, wife caught men with mistresses, and other things that life seems to laugh not accepted, but at a safe distance cause laughter. Therefore, psychologists are actively offering "proseat" its a terrible problem or terrifying mother-in-law, laughter devalues the significance and importance of the persons and events, translating them from rank frightening villains in grade harmless clowns. But God forbid you laugh wife in the face when she is mourning on embezzlement family budget.
If you laugh at yourself, you will appreciate it all and your well-being and self-esteem will improve dramatically.
Rules of life
1. Be aware of the accusation.
2. In an ironic manner to agree with him.
3. For example: "something you somehow suspiciously silent about what do you think? " - "To defend their point of view, now will settle - will tell! " And that's all!
Remember the joke about a crow who had gathered in a warm country with swans. "I am a bird bold and proud, but what kind of fool-Ah! " Or: "It's not the stomach, and the shock absorber love..." "Yes, I'm a spender, but someone has to support the economy! "
- Why do you need a coat? You're such a sublime, neomercantilism being. Book the correct reading on the training run. Why lie to yourself and others?
"But I have something to cover your mortal body!
Source:
Our psychology
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