Known of these feelings quite clear: from mother-in-law is a reluctance to give up the rights to her daughter, distrust of others, the desire to retain the dominant position, with whom she lived in his own house. From the husband's side - the determination not to submit to more of a draw will, jealousy of the persons who belonged to him, the tenderness of his wife, and the unwillingness to broke the illusion of a sexual revaluation. Such a violation occurs most commonly on face mother-in-law, which in many respects remind him of his daughter and at the same time deprived of his youth, beauty and mental freshness, so valuable for him his wife".
As you can see, to confront the mother-in-law and son-in-law is a considerable number of occasions. However, it is not all hopeless.
Wife and daughter
If you had to be in a situation between a rock and a hard place, do not rush unconditionally to protect one of the parties. Otherwise run the risk of losing a mother or a husband. Then what to do?
1. Do not look right. The best position for you - neutrality, but not cool and laid-back, and keen-warm - "you're both right, let's try to negotiate peacefully". Soft diplomatic measures will help your family to reach consensus on controversial issues.
2. Analyze your behavior. It happens that we, without knowing it, his actions provoked the enmity between relatives. For example, when quarrels with her husband run to mom "shoulder to cry on". She, of course, supports her daughter and starts to silently hate the son-in-law, and we then wonder "why should she disliked Kohl? ". Therefore, for your own sake get rid of the habit of complaining mother, husband and to hide from him in the paternal house.
3. And finally, prioritize. Mum, of course, important person in your life, and it should always be remembered, as well as what you are now first wife and then daughter. On this basis, and to build relationships with family members, of course, if you want to save the marriage.
Mother and mother-in-law
"Again, the whole weekend is sat in front of the TV with a beer bottle, it would be better if the trash was taken away and the dishes washed..." - the wise mother-in-law never saw son-in-law. Because the young man is under its roof, it means that such comments will be perceived as harassment. Instead of claims and accusations ask the husband of the daughter of assistance at home. Be thankful even if the nail is not there, hammered, and the chandelier is not so hangs, will learn with time, father-in-law has learned. Do not leave a son-in-law "overboard" discuss family issues. Decisions on repair of apartments, large purchase, the institution of domestic animals and so on, it is advisable to take together.
Respect the right of another to independently dispose of their free time. Therefore, whatever in the moment may seem to you a useless lesson, son-in-law, to terminate its worth only when critical circumstances.
In General, be patient and try to take the young man, if not as a son, then at least as a full family member.
Husband and brother-in-law
You are pre-set negatively against mother-in-law and instead to seek a compromise in communication, strive to avoid it - and it is in vain. If from the first day failed to establish friendly contact is not a reason to despair and give up. As they say, 't the only ones who don't try. Wait a while and try again - his wife a bouquet and her mother a flower, buy the wife a birthday gift for mother-in-law will choose sweet trinket so to speak, in gratitude for the wonderful daughter. Don't forget about compliments: "in Vain scolding mothers-in-law, with you very easy and pleasant to communicate" or "Your daughter great cook, affects your school".
If such courtesies will be rejected or even worse - received coarse form of aggression, then invite the mother-in-law to talk tete-a-tete. First, give the word of the mother of the wife, as far as possible, quietly listen to all her complaints. Then correctly and reasonably, with respect describe their own point of view, explain your behavior in those situations that cause dissatisfaction. At the end of the conversation ask the woman to bury the hatchet, at least for the sake of peace equally beloved and dear to you man - wife and daughter.
Mother-in-law track
- Of course, mother-in-law are different. I, for instance, I love my son-in-law, he makes my daughter happy, and that I still have...
Eugene, 41
- For six years, living with her mother in the same area. The conflict itself the most, sometimes, but very rarely. In General, the mother-in - gold: and feed, and the child will sit, smart razrulit some domestic situation, and who knows what more will help.
Alex, 33
- Mother-in-law disliked me from the first days of our acquaintance, and that whatever I did, no matter how hard she still dissatisfied with everything. It's a shame that his wife is with her all agrees. As recently as the chain failed, I now claim to present a saying that money to make more money, not help, and in General I'm a bad father. How to be - I don't know, I want the family to keep the child very much.
Igor, 25 years
Source:
Our psychology
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