"Energy vampire" is not an empty expression
Every person depending on the situation, it is able in turn to give their energy to others and to absorb her, needing mental recharge.
Each of us is a potential vampire. It is in our nature to expect from another lot, to want it all, entirely. However, with the experience of real relations we understand this strategy we can hardly hold it next to him another man, he is suffering because we will be avoided.
We need to understand, where does our energy and what it takes, what we support and what semsem their loved ones - and then we will be much easier to build harmonious relationships with them. Christophe andré examines in detail for us the mechanisms of communication - vampiric properties and those that give us strength, feeding their live energy.
Take care of yourself
Vampiric relationship is easily recognized by the lack of energy that overtakes us in dealing with a particular person. They do not give anything our mind or heart, emotionally knocking us out of the rut. Easy to outline several portraits of these "vampires" (to communicate with which is seldom).
•Forever mourn. They deprive us forces, because their need for compassion is boundless and we can't fill it, or at least to reduce its depth. They lay on us the mission of the saviors (even if we have neither the desire nor the capacity) and it is known to doom it to failure, as in the soul not configured to accept our advice.
•Dependent. They want evidence of love and our good relationship to them, asked for advice in making simple decisions... childishly clinging to us, they put us in the position of parents, thereby laying on our shoulders a disproportionate burden of responsibility. And when we try to move away from this imposed role, we unwittingly covers an oppressive sense of guilt.
•Ultra-sensitive. Their excessive vulnerability forces us to be constantly alert. Because everything that happens in our relationship, they are willing to accept in the most unexpected way and to interpret in their own way, sometimes writing the plot of this drama. We in the answer have to be in constant tension, all controlling themselves.
•Conflicting. Any problems they are used to solve through aggression, which, however, should not the slightest effort, because the conflict is the nature of their existence. On the contrary, those to whom this aggression is directed, this type of relationship is devastating.
•Violators of the border. Their own role in relationships and personal boundaries are always uncertain, and it forced the other parties to the communication continuously maintain the possibility for adjustment". Since the rules in this relationship is not clearly established, each involved unwittingly invaded the territory of another.
What to do?
To be able to set boundaries
In vampiric relations it is important to maintain the right distance, so as not to give myself tightening in the energy hole. We risk to fall under the influence of the pathology of another person, with the bitterness of feeling that have become its victim, and to answer the thread's own aggression.
We often visited the temptation to take on the role of Savior, and this tendency is to be feared. Yes, we can often help the other, but rarely to save him. When the irritation in the us is growing, ask yourself two questions: "if I, who should play this role? " and "do I Have to do it alone? " In any case, the alarm is our emotions : if we're uncomfortable, it's time to say a clear "stop! ".
Take joy
Unknown why such relationships nourish us with the most positive feelings and always encourage us, sometimes even filling feeling of bliss. Let's try to look at it closer.
•Pleasant things. Compliment a stranger, a friendly question from a neighbor about how we work, a simple friendly gesture - all this confirms what we and our life no matter to what extent, but interesting to other people. We tend to underestimate such attentions, mechanically politely answering them. Meanwhile, they strengthen the sense of self-worth. We need relationships of different levels, and such "superficial" communication is important to us not less than a strong love or friendship. So, a lonely old man who has the opportunity to exchange greetings with her friend, the clerk or pharmacist nearby pharmacies, will find in these simple relations so necessary share warmth.
•Equal exchange. Relationships that are built on open emotional sharing, enrich us, because in them we continuously build on each other. Opening yourself to another person, we are opening and new about yourself. In such a relationship, no pressure and no one obeys them there is only equality and reciprocity. If someone shares with us the secret, ready to take our advice and follow him, it means he trusts us, making us elected. Dialogue on an equal energizes both its participants.
•The gift as an acquisition. Giving someone your time, help and love, we radiate positive energy. Reciprocal feelings of those who accepted our gift that always raises our self-esteem. And we acquire no less of the person to whom we give.
•In agreement with himself. In fact, what we do has meaning and benefit for others, receiving a confirmation of this, we are filled with strength. The teacher, his work turned in excellent grades hitherto hopeless losers, literally elated by his success.
Such efforts are rewarded in full: when we act in harmony with oneself and in accordance with the laws according to their own values, we feel that we need other people, and feel almost invincible.
What to do?
Refresh your energy
To be in good health, we need to feed our feelings from different sources. Daily "diet" we are communicating with our loved ones.
But we need other relationships - those that sometimes knock us out of the rut and make change. They awaken in us the dormant desires and hitherto hidden features.
Aggressive, provoking people, of course, we don't like, but irritating us, they encourage us to change, to evolve and grow. Sometimes such "uncomfortable" relationship - the most effective means to upgrade our forces.
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