What to do when field of dreams turns into a field change?
In this difficult situation to say which version is correct, it is impossible. Because each of us has his own life, in which the reasons for a relationship.
1. "I'll look for a cause" - answered 29, 8%. About 180 women believe that first you need to figure out what was the reason for the treason, and to analyze the situation. Not to panic, not to imagine how this could happen, not to think about their conversations and not to give him scenes. Now the nerves so on edge, but my head is spinning and aching one thought: "How and for what? " You better ask yourself: why did he change? First: he wants to build new relationships and create new family. Second: he doesn't want to change anything, cheating was fun, unconscious impulse or something in this spirit. The reasons can be many: sexual frustration, desire for new experiences, collecting facts of bed pleasures or simply partners, the fun ended drinking and Dating, promotion (Yes, and among female boss and male subordinates it happens), the quarrel with his beloved, that is, with you, after which he fell into the arms of the first counter, arguing with friends and so forth. In most cases, cheating is the result of difficulties in the relationship between a pair of. Therefore, sometimes the problem must be sought in myself.
2. "Immediately break off all relations" opinion 25, 3%, which is about 150 people. When a person decides to leave, not hesitating, not wanting to work on a relationship. Inside zeal of real passion. In the boiler gets thrown all: jealousy seasoned misunderstanding, jealousy salted anger, and pride filled bitter resentment, tears and again misunderstanding... You decide to throw the preparation of this soup, but its main ingredients is not going anywhere. Before leaving, carefully twice. Do you want this in reality or, maybe there is something, which you could forgive betrayal? Know that often the pride and fear, and pride do not give the slightest chance of the second half to re-betrayal. So really happens in life that changed one day, people no longer goes to the left and back to the family nest.
3. "Begin to change it herself" - decision of 16%, namely 95 people. Usually, if women decide to return the treason that men simply can't forgive. Like it or not, but the woman for the stronger sex is a certain kind of property, which becomes "dirty" after the betrayal. Tarnished the reputation of a man is not able to forgive, even though about infidelity know only members of a love triangle. But the woman rather than reputation scares, and, firstly, the possible regularity of this action, and secondly, it says hurt feelings. And cheating on her side can hit very painful, as partners she can choose even the best friend of his men. Again, before you make such a serious step, decide for yourself whether. In fact, often after the betrayal of the woman begins to repent, to doubt whether there was such a revenge... Talks about this beloved man, to show that she too is capable of, and as a result may be thrown.
Change launch on warning with the purpose of self or to understand that in the future there might be a relationship with another person, even where none has gone. But in spite of - way is not the best.
4. "Will I cause a scandal that would require termination of the edit" - chose a little less, 13, 6%, that is, 81 people. In fact, evidence shows that the way you allow 2 errors. Hysterics and tears little helped. It is annoying and does not cause any respect, compassion. And if you in addition also the condition put on the termination of the edit, then in the soul of man is a huge uprising. He may not oppose in words, but decides that no one has the right to him to order. Although to resist the scandal is extremely difficult because emotions to the limit, and in order not to splash out, you need to have great patience. Remember Adriano Celentano in one of his movies he chopped wood from an overabundance of testosterone? It may be wise to beat the dishes, or go for a Boxing pear and already after only to begin to talk and discuss the problem.
5."Will pretend to know nothing" - 7, 6% of respondents, namely 45 people. As they say, the less you know, the better you sleep. Here are just easier absolutely not to know and not to know than to know and pretend not guess. The decision to forgive some comes from the fact that the wealth of men and the life style that you lead him completely satisfied. Lose it there is no desire. The second option would be to save the marriage for the sake of the children, the third - hope that cheating will not be repeated, the fourth - indifference, if your own lover and the like. Perhaps this decision accept those who are willing to forgive, to push in themselves their pride and save the relationship for something that is especially valuable, expensive and important.
6. Offers live Threesome". Yes, there were still 26 people, which is 4, and 4%, which is not against such relationships. Somehow it smacks of glory, but has a right to exist. Whether as a sexual experiment, whether the objective evidence that there are those who allow the opportunity of a lifetime together.
7. "I'll talk to his mistress" - 15 people, which is equivalent to 2, 5%, would have decided on a conversation with his mistress. What pushes this people is unclear. Nobody ever believed in female solidarity, as well as in female friendship. Not afraid to encounter confusion, aggression, boldness or impudence? Well, try to talk. Just know that if she needs your man, it will be for him to fight, hurting and humiliating you. If you're ready for this, then try. Let go of your male opponent can only be the case if she did not need. In General, relationships need to sort out between you two, and a third person to interfere in such cases does not need.
8. "All will be forgiven". To forgive all less than 1% of the respondents, there are about 5 people out of 600! We are talking about sincere forgiveness of a loved one, not silence or stay ignorant. It is difficult, but, they say, is all-forgiving love - maybe it is.
A great thinker françois de La Rochefoucauld once said, "Ceasing to love, we rejoice, when we change, thereby freeing us from the need to store loyalty. This is another facet of treason, showing us how difficult relationship. For someone cheating can become happiness...
You think to leave immediately with someone is much easier than to understand the causes of the incident or, say, to turn a blind eye to cheating? Not at all. All the options themselves are difficult. The man who forgets about the change and hope that it will not happen again, risks not just to lose sleep, but that scared, be worried and suspicious, he runs the risk of once again and once again begin to look for evidence of treason. And sometimes even wait for it to happen, and during each subsequent quarrel to restrain myself not to reproach a man of his crime against the institution of marriage. The one who collects things and lightning goes, doomed to eternal thoughts about what would have happened if he/she did, what is the real cause of treason, repented or partner, whether he wants to start all over again, was it worth at all to do. Most importantly, do not forget that each of us has a gift to Express your thoughts. About this gift cannot be forgotten, and should be actively used. How? Screams and scandals, reasonable conversation or fatal silence... the Output of each makes for himself depending on the quality and nature of relationships.
Source:
Telemania
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