Wednesday, December 24, 2014

How to survive criticism?


How to survive criticism? Today we will talk about confidence and criticism. To begin with I want to turn to the meaning of the word "criticism" in the dictionary. Dahl writes that criticism is wanted and the judgment of the merits and demerits of any work, especially essays, analysis or evaluation. But we will talk about criticism and feelings, if they criticize you personally.


What a man feels when he is criticized? They hear people when they criticize? Recall now the situation when you are criticized. How you felt?


I interviewed several people on the subject of what they feel when they are criticized. And here are the answers:


"I felt insignificant".
"It seemed to me that I can poke your finger".


"A very negative feelings".


"Felt stupid".


What are emotions, when people hear critical remarks in his address? This resentment, irritation, anger. Often guilt, humiliation. This can lead to decreased self-esteem and lower self-confidence.


Negative emotions stronger if the criticism comes from loved ones, for example, from my mother, husband or friend.


What happens to a person after he expressed some criticism and pointed out his error?


A feeling of heaviness, pain, internal discomfort, lump in my throat. The feeling when the word "pumps" from the inside out.


Often all these emotions lead to feelings, fear of starting something new, fear of mistakes, the inner feeling of emptiness and even illness. All this can occur if there were differences in response to criticism, if all the words remained in my throat unspoken.


Why do people criticize? What contributes to it?


The first thing I want to say is criticized not only for you personally! Criticize all. Although often people who have just heard the words of criticism, says the opposite: "All otherwise respond to criticism, one I am..."


Second, often more painful perceive criticism of those people who is very responsible inside, those who believe their reason for everything that happens around. Such people should be afraid, because with time they usually start to take criticism even just comments from people in a bad mood. And the crux of the situation: someone is pouring you with their negativity, and you take it personally and suffer on this occasion. Perhaps you are very sensitive and keenly notice the moods of others. And in that moment when you wave a person more than his, it is hard for you to react neutrally to his words.


Often criticized by those who are stronger or looks like a stronger and more confident. And then people really want to "win" on this person.


Also often criticize those who have achieved success in their field. That is, the person who has not made such professional or other heights, carries on successful your fears and doubts. As the saying goes, the best defense is attack.


It is very important to understand in this situation, what position is expressed criticism. There are two positions: "You're wrong! " and "It could have been done better." These are two different sides to criticism and it is very important to learn to distinguish between them.


How to survive criticism?


What to do in this situation?


1. Enable the head. Listen and hear what you say.


2. To understand and distinguish which positions you criticize. That is to say: it is a critique for the sake of self-defense or criticism for the suggestions.


3. If you understand that in this case the criticism is directed at you with the purpose of the outpouring of the bad mood of the interlocutor, in any case, do not jump to conclusions and solutions. Much better to depart, to be released from an excited emotional state, to calm down, then try to answer the question: "Why this person wanted me to say it? "


4. If someone gives you advice that may be common grain, analyze his words after he was released from the emotional situation. Think of this, you could use, because often not all information will be useful specifically for you. Because of the criticism people often find solutions to their personal, career growth and progress.


Most importantly, remember: constructive criticism people give us a lot of useful information, but to approach it without emotion, with a cool head.


Good luck to you!



Source: Scolarity.Roux














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