During the day in a young child occurs and there is emotional stress. There are several reasons. First, the baby is growing, and its psychological features are not always kept pace physical development. Secondly, the little man actively explores the world. New experiences - every step, every minute. It seems to us that the world around us is constant and static. What can be new in the old apartment? Your child will always find something new: "Mom, what's this? And what is it? " And thirdly, we as parents also often add fuel to the fire.
Agree, it is not always possible to find enough self-control and patience, so that in response to the devastation of our child, not to scream: "what are you doing?! Put them immediately... " one of the parents doesn't dream of a quiet child? Of course, it is convenient to conduct their business, while the kid busy on the carpet with designer or driving cars... Instead, he somehow worn like mad, fights, messes everything up, something breaks and tears. Why? Adults sometimes forget that a small child feels the constant need to move. Unfortunately, this need (urgent need of the child's body, and not a characteristic of your son or daughter) not always implemented in full.
As a result, the voltage experienced by the baby turns into aggression, which always worried parents and which nevertheless need to vent. There are quite harmless ways to neutralize negative emotions. Here are some of them that have been tested in practice.
Most children love to play loud. Challenge your toddler, give him the opportunity to fight you. The more noise and fuss, the better. Our coast was not yet a year old, when my father came up with him playing tiger: Kostya growled, and dad (and for him and other members of the family) was "afraid". "Oh, I tiger attacked! Save me! "loudly frightened grandmother and snarling tiger quite laughing.
Few parents will enjoy the scraps of paper scattered around the apartment. It is clear that, if the baby vomits a book or need a magazine, newspaper, we need to explain why this should not be done. However, harmful in themselves actions in a harmless direction, can give good results in the struggle against aggression. One resourceful grandmother, our friend, has invented his own way to relieve aggression baby. When her three year old grandson started to get angry, she gave him old Newspapers, and boy did rvalue". Then the child with her grandmother removed the scraps.
Contrary to popular belief, "shooting games" do not develop aggressiveness, and help to neutralize, throw it. I long been against the purchase of the pistol and machine our aggressor, considering these toys are completely unnecessary. But look what love the father and the son are happily shouting "Bang and burn as their eyes and cheeks, I thought that was not right. These games also help to lose excess negative energy and to relax.
When reading fairy tales in your baby you might want to spank bad wolf who wanted to eat the hare, or harmful crocodile. Let him do it. Let the kid better slaps drawn robber than a grandmother or mother.
All parents know that children need a daily walk. Indeed, it is difficult to overestimate the importance of walking. As a rule, already at the age of 2-3 years child enjoys the company of a friend, and makes it quite noisy. Not terrywhite it. Let friends run plenty. The requirement to follow the appropriate handle near the road, in a shop or on a busy street. In a Park or square, depending on where you walk, kids it is better to let go, let run, climb ladders, loud and cheer. The result of such walks is impressive. Negussie child will not have a mess. He willingly honor, love to play Lotto or constructor, and then quickly and promptly went to sleep.
The parents Council. If your baby is showing aggression, try to stay as relaxed as possible. You can try to translate the aggressive actions of the kid in the game. For example, our stubborn as long demanded something not put him and was beginning to get angry. Tired of his whims father pointedly turned on the TV. The son immediately turned off. Dad silently turned. After a few seconds it had grown into the game, the conflict was settled.
In conclusion, I would like to add: no need to suppress the natural activity of the child, you just need to send it in a harmless way, to help your child get rid of negative energy by choosing a suitable shape. And need from you is a little patience, ingenuity and, of course, love for the little man.
The opinion of the psychologist
What is aggression?
Psychologists have been unable to reach consensus. Some believe that aggression is an innate reaction, aimed at protecting its territory. Others find that it is not so much biological as social origin expresses a desire to dominate over others. Maybe it's a response to a hostile surrounding reality or to suppress any desire...
Aggressive behavior is unmotivated damage to people, animals or objects. The key word here is "unmotivated". Child aspire to break things, to spoil things, to quarrel with others not because of his resentment associated with them, and for reasons purely domestic, with these objects, and people not related. The rational explanation for this behavior is unclear, but the reason is, and it lies much deeper than the immediate situation. And it is important not to confuse the rare need for the child in energy output and constant aggressive behavior. The first is a natural process that parents should not forget, and with the second it is necessary to methodically work to this aggression to suppress.
The main causes of prolonged aggression
Fatigue: children from disadvantaged families are often unbalanced nervous processes, when these children get tired, the excitement starts to grow. From this they get tired more, and the case ends with failure. If the child is prone to over-stimulation, all mobile games stop for two hours before bedtime. Useful warm shower and a day of rest (especially in summer).
Negative self-image: I'm bad, and I'm as bad. But, behaving badly, these children are extremely sensitive even to mild criticism. It sounds like a "you're bad". One of the tools against it - "I-message". We should say not, "you're killing me, when you do" and "I feel bad when you do that"; not "because of you" and "you know, all children are ill, when you make noise". I.e., to not react to the person, and on a specific behavior and to help the child to understand it.
Fear ("defensive aggression"): if a child has a negative experience of relationships with people, he can defend himself, trying to warn of the situation, reminding him what he already was.
Response to ban adults, restriction of personal liberty to a situation where a child does not get what he needs. Explain to your child the reason for the ban. If the child's wishes just late, you can offer him some kind of compromise ("we'll do it, but later").
Demand attention
: children that do not pay attention to that lack of parental love (and in wealthy families sometimes), as if to say, "Ah, so? You do not notice me? Well, I'm not going to let myself forget! " Important to them any sign of attention, even negative.
Social learning
(example adult, movie... ): the child who abused can repeat this behavioral model: "As treated me, so I'll have to deal with others." If the child has lived in a family where constantly fought, screamed at each other, then he will do the same thing, being in a different environment. If the child often looks militants, he learns the example of the invincible Superman, for which there are no laws.
The manifestation of the love of power
: talking about children with so-called broken attachments ("I don't need anybody, they didn't have"), who have learned to survive by attacking all and breaking all the rules, and suddenly realized that it was very pleasant to be the main, strong, when you all are heard and everyone is afraid. To work with this child, you need to gain credibility. Important for him is justice and power. When your credibility is proven, we must be able to firmly tell the child: "I will not allow you to do that".
Author:
E. Shcherbakov
Source:
Stud
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