What scared single mother? What mistakes she makes and whether it is possible to avoid them?
What scared single mother?
To begin, I want You to remember once and for all that the lone mother is still not a bad mom, a single parent family is not unhappy family. There are thousands of examples of that in an ordinary family, consisting of father, mother and child - rearing and care deals with only one parent, and most often it is the mother. And everyone in this family is deeply unhappy her mother because of immaturity husband, dad, due to the lack of freedom and the inability to live as you want, baby - because of quarrels and unhappiness parents.
So it might be a single mom - it's not so bad? For many poor women divorce is the only way out of the situation (the lack of love, humiliation, insults, beatings and other) and the ability to be happy. People tend to make mistakes. Many of us say "the words" are "wrong door", choose the "wrong person".
The main thing is not to stop, it is important to go further. No one said it would be easy. The past cannot be changed, but a happy future for themselves and their children - it is possible to build. Everyone has the right to a second chance!
Error single mother
Those women who are bringing up children alone, I know what calling is motherhood. And that they, the single mothers, there is a tendency to over-the care of children. And it happens because of the loss of self-esteem and life points. They forget about themselves and their needs. And making a great mistake.
Typical errors for single mothers
Entirely devote himself to the child
On the one hand - it's not bad, but on the other - there is a strong likelihood that the mother gave all his life without a trace baby, completely "stick" to it and not realize themselves as a person. It is difficult for them to let go of the grown-up child in an independent life. They often have very high standards for their children. They seem to be trying to realize their unfulfilled dreams through their child, thereby programming it and depriving the right choice.
Yes, the child is the most important and the most important thing in life, but you need to remember about yourself. And this is true of both appearance and emotions.
Feel immense guilt
Very often single mothers consider themselves to blame for the divorce and that they are "deprived" child of the father. Regardless of the causes of the relationship with the father of the child, they blame it yourself. After this they decided to divorce, it is because of them, the child grows up without a dad in "inferior" to the family. Lack of money forces them to work day and night and give the baby less time than we would like. Therefore, in free money earning time they're afraid to leave him even for a few minutes, do not allow yourself to relax and to spend time on personal needs. And so the rest of my life - feelings of guilt and regret, manifested in the sacrifice.
Women nature has to sacrifice the many for the sake of the child, but all should be within reasonable limits and no one to do any damage. Not necessarily every moment of his life to devote only a child!. After all, the mother-mucenici prone to inappropriate victims themselves and their interests, gives him the, shall we say, not a very good example. No need to deprive yourself of the prospects for private life and freedom. You should not recognize a right only on the role of a single mother.
Reduce the process of raising a child to satisfy only his material needs
I admit, it is quite natural and legitimate desire, but do not forget about the spiritual side. Caring only about how to feed and clothe the child, You can skip equally important aspects: raising the sensitivity, kindness, responsibility, love, etc.
Just speak more frequently with it, caress it, give warmth and tenderness to the touch, words, and attitudes. And if there are some financial difficulties, do all that is in no way touched the child and your relationship. Never doubt that You educate the person and the person just because raise him alone. Invest in baby love, care, kindness and attention. This is the most profitable Your investment :) - through the years You will get a lot of interest in the form of a grateful son and a loving caring daughter.
Limit your social circle only child and put an end to his personal life
As a rule, lonely moms believe that their meetings and socializing with friends, much less a date with a man is not the child will bring joy, and make him suffer. But it's wrong! On the contrary, a happy mother, happy with life, will bring joy and your baby. You should not isolate themselves from others. You should try to go somewhere without the baby, to meet with friends, to date and to do it all for yourself. After talking with other people, including (and maybe especially) with men, will bring You joy, make escape from everyday problems, will give happiness. And happy mother will make happy and child.
Therefore, in any case, do not suppress the urge to rely on a man's shoulder is a natural and understandable the need to feel cared for a loved one. You cannot get rid of it all in the name of motherhood. Maybe a new acquaintance, and a new man will benefit Your small family. For example, the duties previously handled by only one person, can now be divided into two. And the child through the mother's man will get new experience and knowledge.
Do not accept his loneliness
This is the other extreme, some peculiar to single mothers. They never recovered mentally and physically from a previous relationship, anxious to be new. Very often in such situations, children leave for grandparents. And it can not affect them. Therefore, it is so important to find a balance between their needs and the needs of the baby.
Always remember that only a strong woman able to raise the baby. Do not be afraid of obstacles and challenges, go through life confidently and proudly straightened his shoulders. You are a real mother! Love yourself, love your baby, be happy!
Source:
Beautiful and successful
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