In your bedroom has become quite boring? Spice up your sex life with our 10 tips.Many of us remember the hot and frequent spicy moments when a romantic relationship with a partner was just beginning. But over time, the fire of love of life can fade away. Years pass, and erotic nightgowns will be hidden in a drawer for socks, massage oil collects dust in the medicine Cabinet next to the antifungal cream, and you feel that your partner sex life has become routine and monotonous.
So, what is the secret to a better sex life, which is not quenched? We asked advice on this topic from two experts in the field of sexuality - Michael Calmena, author of Great sex: a Guide men for secret sex principles for the whole body, and Leann Cole Weston, PhD.
Make dates
Kalman and Weston are unanimous in the opinion that couples who already live together for a certain time, need to plan time for sex.
"To date for sex," says Kalman, a journalist who writes about health problems, who answered questions about sexuality, sent by readers in column consultant of Playboy magazine. "Don't make sex a secondary occupation," he says. "Do what you like before you have sex, go to the movies or go out into town to have dinner, take a walk together walk, drink a glass of wine by candlelight - all what you like to do as a couple. But the highlight this time is specifically".
But, you may well ask, does the scheduling is romantic? Don't we believe that sex should be spontaneous? In the end, it is uncommon for lovers filled diary as a sex fetish.
However, Calmena ready sharp reply. "Grow," he says. "What's the problem with assigning a date for sex? People expect other activity that brings them pleasure, such as trips for skiing or outputs dinner in the restaurant".
Weston agrees with him. "I think that most people, especially couples with children, should make plans in advance because they are trying to squeeze in your daily schedule too much," she says. "Of course, there are moments when everything is done spontaneously, but this is just a happy accident".
Exit the house
One of the good tips to improve love life is the Board regularly spend nights away from home.
"For couples who have been together some time, sex can become routine," says Kalman. You feel exhausted by the end of the day after work, washing, playing soccer with kids and things like that.
"And instead of champagne and oysters on the half shell and the views of lake Tahoe, stretching in front of you as a reward, you get the same old miserable house, peanut butter and jelly and that's all," he says. This is not a guide to a fantastic sex life.
It can be difficult to live solely in the moment, when you are making love in her bedroom, where all too familiar. Your brain thinks: I have not forgotten to set the alarm? How much will it cost to fix leaking pipes with water in the overlap?
"By and large, making love is a momentary experience," says Kalman. "The best sexual feelings you experience when you don't think about the past or the future, and think only about the present. While this may be difficult in the room where the wall always there is a photograph of my grandmother, stroking you with a smile".
Kalman recommends that you run in a place that is not filled with reminders of everyday life. It doesn't have to be an incredible spot by the ocean, or at least, doesn't always have to be such a place. Usual place away from the house quite well.
Change the interior of a bedroom
Of course, sexual life, which depends entirely on Dating in hotels and night nannies can be a problem if you are not wealthy, childless or sit without work. Therefore, in addition to undertaken from time to time departures from home, make some changes in your home.
"Bedroom creates many ordinary associations," says Weston. "But if you can do something to transform your bedroom into something new and different, it can make a difference".
The improvement of sexual life does not require the installation of a rotating bed or mounting a mirrored ceiling. "You don't need to do something that will cause confusion in children or the housekeeper," says West.
Obvious tip - light the candles. However, you can feel the difference and, for example, made the bed beautiful new set of clothes or putting a new bedspread. In addition, the carry from the bedroom stuff - toys, stacks of things thrown in the wash, which tends to accumulate in the bedroom, and it too will have its effect. Think also about how to make the bedroom TV, or at least try to do without him for at least a while.
Decide what you really want
Each of us has some or other sexual fantasies. But some people hide these fantasies deep enough. If your partner turned to you tonight and asked: "What is your main sexual fantasy? " or "What would you like to change in how we make love? " - do you know what would be in it?
If you are not sure, you know that you are not alone. "Some people need a little work on yourself, to understand what really drives them," says Weston. However, it is understanding what you want is the key to improve your sex life.
So put a little effort. Weston reminds us that there are many tools that can help in this matter, books, magazines, videos, etc. If you have any ideas, discuss them with your partner will entertain you both.
Find out what your partner wants/partner
In these efforts there is a downside - you need to ask your partner the same questions you've already asked yourself. What does your partner/partner of an intimate relationship?
According to the observations of Weston and Kalman, one of the most common complaints they hear is a complaint that one partner wants more sex than the other.
Some people indignantly can be assumed that their sexual temperament higher than the temperament of their sexual partner/partner. However, it is possible that your partner wanted/would like to get something different in private life, but is unable or unable to ask for it. Discuss with him or her this subject. Open discussion can bring you closer to each other and to make sex more interesting for both of you.
Try something new
Try something new in my bedroom is quite obvious suggestion to improve sexual relations, however, many people face difficulties trying to follow it.
"For many people, faithful to the fact that, the longer they are together the more routine are their sexual relationship," says Weston. "You think it should be different, because people are easier to try new things in building strong and lasting relationships that provide a sense of trust and security." But this is not the case".
Kalman agree. "People resist change, especially in the intimate sphere," he says. "If you are in this relationship, you may feel that you have something to lose. And you just don't want to rock the boat",
But as Kalman and Weston advised to resist the urge to leave everything as is. New can mean anything - it could be beautiful lingerie, massage, sex toys, etc. do not need to be excessive in an attempt to try something new.
"People have a lot of crazy ideas about what should be sexual fantasies," says Kalman. "They think that we are talking about bdsm or sex on the Ferris wheel. However, there are a lot less wild ways to experiment with something new".
Weston quite agree. "One minor change can have a significant effect, which consists in breaking the pattern of how usually you have sex," says Weston. "If you normally shy and waiting for action from the other partner, try to start the game of love. Take a chance, despite the fact that it is a very small risk".
Do not ignore sexual problems
Today sexual problems - the mystery is much smaller than it was ever before. For example, thanks to the efforts of pharmaceutical companies and humorous transmission coming in late at night, hardly remained in the country a lot of people don't have any medicines for erectile dysfunction.
However, this does not mean that assistance is given to all who need it.
"People with sexual problems often shy away from sex because I do not want to deal with failure," says Weston. "But these problems need to be solved unambiguously".
Erectile dysfunction is given the most attention, but there are many other things, such as premature ejaculation, loss of libido or difficulty in achieving orgasm, which can be drug or health status.
Weston reports that women, too, are paying more attention to these issues and also report sexual problems, such as pain during sexual intercourse. Or inability to achieve orgasm. In accordance with Caslon, many women complain of vaginal dryness during sex, which can cause painful sensations.
Lubrication is important," says Weston. "With regard to the degree of excitation - lubricant for women equivalent erections for men".
Some sexual problems may require medical intervention, while others can be resolved through the use of other sexual techniques or buying a bottle of lube for $ 5. But what is important here is not that some how to deal with the problems that can impair your sex life. No need to settle for a miserable sex life.
And, finally, Weston briefly draws your attention to the fact that, regardless of your ears somewhere, pills to fight erectile dysfunction in no way change sexual temperament of the person.
Drive slowly
Some couples find that, the longer they are together, the shorter and business become their sexual encounters.
Kalman compares this with orientation in a new environment. When you move into a new place, you always try different ways to go to the supermarket or electronics store. But eventually you find the shortest path and only use it. The same thing happens with couples, when they well get to know each other in the sexual sphere.
But the most quick and effective way is definitely not what you want in the bedroom. To focus on the destination, and only the obvious parts of the anatomical structure is the worst thing you can do, he says.
"The best sex happens when it uses the sensuality of the whole body - leisurely, playful, creative," says Kalman. "He has no specific direction, slightly to the side a bit in this".
Kalman argues that men often tend to be too quick action, and that it can go from quick and implemented with a degree of violence of sex in pornography. However, according to Kalman, many men find that their sexual problems such as premature ejaculation, disappear when they learn not to rush.
"Leisurely lovemaking benefit everyone," says Kalman. "Women are more excited and get more pleasure from sex, and men are less exposed to sexual problems and feel more confident in bed. Everyone wins".
Do not worry about what other people do all the rest
According to Weston and Kalman, one of the most common questions they ask is: "How should we deal with that? " The question suggests that the answer is obvious - more than it's doing now.
The feeling that your sex life is "supposed" to be better, probably universal. It explains a wide variety of titles of books about sex in the self-help sections of bookstores, and the constant advertising article about sex on the cover of the control table at the exit of the supermarket (or why so many people click with your mouse on the titles of such articles as "10 secrets to improve sex life").
Kalman believes that the culture in which we live, and especially her films, regardless of whether we are talking about romantic stories of Hollywood or pornography, forced us to think about the fact that our sex life is not perfect.
So how often do you "need" to have sex? On this question there is no answer," says Weston. "Stop trying to decide how much sex you should have and try to understand how much sex you want to have".
Keep trying
Improve your sex life will require some effort. This is similar to the following: for most people, life is a continuous guerrilla war with the extra 10 pounds of weight that attack you from ambush, when you don't pay attention to them. In the same way, people can get into a sexual rut, having a boring and dull sex life, until they begin efforts to stimulate her.
You must understand that some attempts may simply not be able. The attack in sexual role play can be funny in the late call and left on the answering machine incoherent messages your mother-in-law or mother-in-law. Scented candles can cause constant sneezing. When you try something new, you always run the risk that it may fail.
But it is very important not to stop trying. Do not let the feeling of awkwardness forced you not to go nationalo way. You should never accept a mediocre sex life.
So, they expressed here are 10 secrets to improve your sex life. But, you may well ask, I think I've already heard some of them before. And this is quite normal. For example, it is unlikely that America will find a man, who, after reading about the fact that communication is important for a healthy intimate relationship, will slap himself on the forehead, and say, "to be Stunned, and all this time I thought/was thinking that the refusal of communication was the right idea! "
It should be recognized that these tips are not any mystery. Or at least, they're not discharge of such mysteries as the purpose or destiny of Amelie Earhart. We read the magazines and watch daytime talk shows. Many of us know about what you need to do to improve their sex life.
But, if we all already know, why do we continue to buy magazines and watch shows on TV that tell us what we already know? In the end, our good intentions weaken, and we again return to my lazy habits. We give the routine of life to prevail over us.
Therefore, perhaps the most important tip to improve your love life, and our final tip - don't stop. The main thing is to put in the effort.
"If someone says that he has no time or energy for a good sex life, he cannot hope that he will have a good sex life," says Castleman. "All so simple".
10 ways to combat sexual boredom
Problems in sex - it's great
Source:
Eurolab
No comments:
Post a Comment