I advise you NOT to advise

I have long understood that in stores it is better to walk alone. Even the most beloved and good friends should be left at home. They are in this situation are not friends and not advisers. The thing that will appeal to the girlfriend, you can not be right. But, yielding to her entreaties, you buy something "bad heart". Only you can know and understand what suits you and what doesn't. Listen to yourself and your feelings - they are not deceived.


I have a mother-in-law. A good-hearted man who loves me almost as your own child, always ready to help cope with various difficulties. As you know, each person has its oddities, and she is no exception. During my pregnancy I brought: all advised how to behave, what to eat, how many hours a day I need to sleep, and how much is to be outdoors. As nervous during pregnancy simply contraindicated, I treated everything calmly, trying not to pay attention, and when it became very tight, talked with my husband, and he always answered: "Mother, it is only good wishes. It is not bad advise". I myself and calmed down, thought, will, as soon as give birth to a healthy baby.




Gave birth. A healthy and strong boy. Over time the wise advice of my mother-in-law became more and more. "Why hat wearing? Heat on the street! Look for the child, and you will fall..." - and so on to infinity. Step not step without caring advise you..." or "I would be in your place..." to be Honest, the tips of his beloved mother-in-law I got used quickly learned how to react to them, and often do not respond at all.




But the teachers of life, experts in appearance, the best cooks to get used up to now have not been and is unlikely to be able ever. The words of English writer Joseph Addison: "Anything people do not take with such disgust, as the Soviets, I think is absolutely correct.




"Don't buy this thing have to be more economical. Something your husband later returned - you watch him! I think you got fat, it's time to lose weight. Very pale, to eat more..." and stuff like that, the list goes on. Without the advice of experts in all life matters a step can be a step. I wonder why every well-wisher not stay in its place? Why are so many people like to meddle in someone else's life, rather than to monitor their own?




In another's eye, as you know, the speck see in your logs do not notice. But I still think that before to advise something another person, one hundred times to think. After all, for many people, the councils are a very important part of life, and without them just anywhere!




I have a friend Alina, which without the advice of other people and step cannot do itself. In clothing stores necessarily carries a girlfriend, so that she was able to tell that it is better to buy, what color to choose, and so on, And if a friend can't give it enough time, you have to call for help the entire staff of the store, so we are advised, has said his opinion. While not all come to the same conclusion, Alina does not calm down.




This behavior is typical for people who have no own opinion. Alina was never able to buy something to wear, even to choose a new hairstyle and haircut without anyone's advice. What is most surprising, she always blindly trusted and never tried to argue that, by the way, once played tricks on her. When I went to the hairdresser, she, as usual, gathered all hairdressers, stylists and visitors around his person, seeking advice on how she cut my hair and what color of paint to choose. All gathered, discussed, each strove to advise something. In the end, my friend and went to this Barber shop without a new haircut and with a broken mood, because the humans didn't agree with.




To listen to the advice sometimes useful. But only sometimes! Because favorite moms, dads, sisters and brothers, grandparents, friends and acquaintances not bad advise. Very often it happens that their words you perceive to be the only correct view that is fundamentally wrong. Listen to the advice, but think myself - is this the right decision and there are no better option.




Personally, I almost never give advice if I don't ask. I think that is the right position, so as to meddle with things that do not concern you, not worth it. You can only exacerbate the situation, and your good intention can be perceived as something spoken with malicious intent.




However, now listen to the advice of almost everything from mere mortals and ending with celebrities and stars. For example, even Tony and sherry Blair listen to some Carol Caplin, which selects lipstick for Mrs. Blair and recommends that Mr. Blair Japanese massage.




But with celebrity tips and tricks are more likely to benefit than harm. Stylists, makeup artists, nutritionists are helpers, not only do they save time celebrities and just busy people, but also help to make the right choice.




Imagine that you are the presenter of some very popular programs (actress, business woman, well-known writer...). You should always look perfect, not only in terms of shapes, hairstyles, but in terms of clothing and makeup. Of course, the first time you will pick up the clothes themselves, but it won't be six months - and you will have an acute need for in-house stylist and makeup artist. And it's not even that you have a bad taste. You'll just tired of all the shopping, and the time it sometimes is not.




Of course, to bring themselves to a state of inability to choose herself a new dress is not worth - know best! Sometimes, it's just funny to see on TV adults who need someone to tell them what color to choose lipstick or socks. It turns out that we are subject to the authorities of the unrecognized authorities.




After all, if I want to cook something to eat, I don't need to consult with renowned chef, when choosing new clothes - with an expert fashion, and when the first signs of colds in their baby - to flee to a neighbor who worked as a nurse at the nearest clinic. Such questions I can solve on its own.




If you have your own taste, head on his shoulders, a sense of style and time, as well as the ability and desire to try something new, it is not necessary to turn to someone for advice. You can try and experiment yourself. Most importantly, don't be afraid and listen in the first place itself. If you are sure that you will be able to cope with the things you actually will cope with it.




Well, if you are having a really difficult problems to be solved and questions go to the psychologist or the psychotherapist. Anyway, it is better to get advice from highly qualified and trained professionals than from the all-knowing neighbors. The psychologist will be your mirror will help to see myself in a difficult situation. Moreover, you will find your way out of any situation by changing their own views, attitudes to the events, thoughts and actions.




"Ask advice from someone who knows how to win over yourself," he said once Leonardo da Vinci.




And believe me, if you used to run around all day for advice, you will be able to wean from the habit - just for the asking.

Author:

Balogova And.


Source:

Kleo.ru

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