Somehow, it is believed that family relationships should build woman. And home can only exist in the chosen conditions. Why such an honour fell to the fair sex? Probably because he really is great and also reasonable.
Really, how can you call a man who in the family takes the reins in his hands? Despot? Tyrant? Maybe he will do nothing else? Another thing - the woman. It can lead all members of the family so that none of them will not even notice it. It can turn life into an exciting adventure. However, she was able to arrange in the house and the branch neuropsychiatric clinic, it depends on how hard and with purpose to take up the case. But this option does not suit - let's see, what should I do to all members of the family felt great and did not question "why don't you go into my problems? " and "why have you chosen to wife this woman? "
Do not make yourself an idol
It is a misconception that a woman must first determine who in the family is the most valuable and more worthy of her love. Yet there are psychologists who believe that a wife has the right to allocate in Pets husband and children to follow him second stage. In this theory, a definite plus - respect for parents that instilled sons and daughters from birth. Father and mother in this family is indisputable authority, they do not tolerate familiarity and conduct a thick line between the Duo and those they have produced. Cons - the children quickly form their own Union, in which no entry dear parents. And how could it be otherwise, if in any situation the mother immediately takes the side of the father and accept any accept their decision, even if she herself it seems absurd. No dialogue with the children she does not want to go because one of the tenets of this family, "decisions adults are not discussed". As a result, the majority of full or partial loss of understanding, and fatty feature section becomes a wall.
WE'RE THE SAME BLOOD
As the erroneous behavior of the mother, which builds from their children defense against her husband and his kin. "We on this side of the barricades, enemies on the". Mother ear child says daddy errors, bad manners-in-law, funny and their way of life and constantly criticizes the family tradition of the enemy side. The most paradoxical in psychology such a mother that she is not going to divorce ridiculous husband to close the door before the clown-in-law, and generally happy with my life. It is important from early childhood to show children who are in the main house and the cultural and whose way of life ideal. In this family there is a beloved grandmother, "grandma", which is that books are not written, it is, of course, her mother. And there grandmother completely wrong, her eye is called the "babalou", "babyboy" and mocked her every act. Nobody cares that beloved grandmother spent all my life in the Housewives, and "babuka", for example, is the author of several textbooks. Young children are willing to participate in an exciting mother's game in whispers and I love to watch my mom peredraznivaet their father and his mother. But from time to time, of course. Mom did not take into account the fact that children grow quickly, and is a tricky question - who will they boast to friends at the age of 14, pies beloved grandmother or textbooks "babuci"? Sometimes in the long siege of the father's relatives children, growing up, absolutely cease to be interested in, automatically selecting imposed his childhood love for my mother's mother and other relatives on her side. This, of course, wrong, because the child should know their roots on both sides.
Ideal building family hierarchy psychologists believe, of course, the Golden mean. Not distancing themselves from children feature "parents are always right" and not bringing them to himself in the cold war against the whole of my father's, the mother remains the best friend of their children and the first Advisor. But not "unquestioned authority" because of the great talent of the parents to give the children a chance to think, to observe, analyze and draw conclusions. To answer the tough questions calmly to criticism of their actions and even their lifestyles.
THE DIVERSITY OF TYPES
The relationship between the parents, despite the many millions of variations, according to psychologists, are placed in a rather small scheme without nuances.
"Romantic couple" - unfortunately, quite rare, almost extinct option of marriage. They kept their first impressions of each other, do not argue, because in anticipation of the upcoming quarrels both remember their love. In such families cozy and warm feel not only children, but also guests.
"Frustrated pair these spouses are constantly unhappy with each other, im sorry bygone years for the reason that you cannot turn this around and to choose another partner. To open accusations comes rarely, but it is not necessary, because you all to tell with just a glance, a sigh, a slight look of disgust. One of the spouses suffers more and more pity themselves, in this case, the second partner of the victim, gradually taking on the whole burden of guilt for not existing relationships. Such couples break up in 60% of cases.
Akin to her a couple of "indifferent", which has long been concluded, and disappointing about his chosen, but neither she nor he didn't want to change anything in life. They simply cohabit, have children and get used to each other as to the furniture. These couples break up rarely.
"Volcanic pair isn't building a relationship, and charges. Noisy quarrel alternate bouts of fierce love and apologies. Children growing up on the volcano, so get used to family battles that continue to watch TV or play computer games when behind a wall, screaming and mad parents.
FAMILY HAPPINESS
Some of these variations in family life psychologists propose to take... the best and to create this type of relationship, which is called family happiness. Needless to say that the role of the facilitator in creating the moral well-being plays a woman?! From real-life experience "romantic couple" it would be nice to borrow a habit to remember ahead of domestic quarrels about his first strong sense current partner, about love, dreams and sleepless nights. Write this for a long time, and the memory comes quickly at the right moment and has a therapeutic effect: evil accusations are not pronounced, the argument fades out, not with flame.
Y "indifferent pair it would be nice to borrow a little bit of indifference, but just a little. When the partner is bored to a toothache, but the specific claims against him, except that for too long is next, I want immediately to break and start building something somewhere again. This mood passes for a few minutes, because within a reasonable families always triumphs over logic and common sense, and yet it happens that under the influence of time committed the unpardonable error. Here would be nice and include apathy (indifference, calmness, sleep), after waiting a moment of irritation.
Psychologists believe that for some couples, it is sometimes useful to populyarizirovano", to let the feelings out. But just sometimes, once every six months, for example, and without far-reaching consequences. The Keeper of the family hearth is quite capable of keeping this volcano is within the permissible limits and at the same time to Nachrichten enough. Great ability to stop in time is not given to all women, therefore, starting a fight, you need to set the internal timer to its end. And in advance to figure out how much bigger to celebrate the world.
THIN WORLD
Relationship with best friend's wife" or "the best friend of the husband - mother-in-law or mother - in-law need special attention, because according to statistics, many couples fall apart because they failed to establish a relationship with his or her mother. Don't forget that mothers are primarily women, and fold amount by reason of the passing years. Yes, and who your favorite child knows into whose hands. And who psychologists assign a major role in building family relationships? That's it. Historically, the most dangerous are the mother-in-law, probably because they are after marrying his son get a completely useless for them, "daughter", and Tiffany is a cute young man. Mother-in-law living in the same apartment with the young, is doubly dangerous, and no advice other than "live alone", shall have no legal force. But even mother-in-law, living in another city, can deliver a lot of bad days with his bride. Of course, not all of her husband's mother is so finicky and poisonous, but for some reason because of their boundless energy of young families often crumbling. The wisest daughter-in-law is a policy of noninterference. Should not try to win a middle-aged man, if this man from the very beginning unhappy with the choice son. You need to draw a "thick line" between the two families - his own and sokrovennoe - and without getting half of it, not to let his. Not literally, of course. To reduce communication to a minimum, her husband at her not to complain and their children against grandmothers do not configure. Charges-in-law to ignore, but on the dirty innuendo to respond forcefully, demanding evidence and insisting that she had ceased to think of similar stories. Practice shows that the mother-in-law, years faced with the reluctance daughter-in-law to start a war, in the end smirney and begins to engage grandchildren. But again, this is extreme. There are many middle-aged women survivors weddings of their sons, which, albeit not in delight from Zinovieva choice, but they want peace, love and respect. So what is easier to give it to them! Though not quite sincere at first, but with a good prospect of a peaceful life later.
It's simple, you just need to remember Okudzhava and "love your heart to configure". Because only and forming good good relationships in the family, does not deteriorate health and as deserved awards shines a cozy carefree old age surrounded by genuinely loving and caring. What more do you need?
ANNA NOVAK, PSYCHOLOGIST
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