Good manners children vaccinated since childhood: first the parents, then teachers and teachers. But the effect is small. Why?! Maybe it's the fact that rules of etiquette are taught too boring and didactic?!
Unwritten rules
Etiquette standards, although they are described in different sources are "unwritten" because they are not enshrined in any law. This is an agreement between people to behave a certain way. Etiquette defines the rules of behaviour of people in different places and in different circumstances:
• when meeting
• at the time of greeting and farewell
• in public areas (transport, road, holiday events, Museum, cinema, theatre, circus, clinic, library, hairdresser, restaurant, etc.)
• in a telephone conversation
• how to behave in guests
• how to receive guests
• how to behave at the table
• how to write letters, send e-mail messages
• communication with strangers, friends, older people
• use polite words (please, gratitude, empathy)
• choose clothes and hairstyle for different events (dress code)
• personal hygiene and health care
• attitude towards material values
• the concept of taste, beauty, fashion, style
The mere enumeration of the rules of etiquette looks impressive. But we need to remember the rules for each theme and, more importantly, to perform them. Moreover, always. It is believed that the highest level of human culture is to observe the rules of etiquette, even when you're alone and no one can trace, keep you etiquette or not. The question arises as to instill high culture children?
Sermons on etiquette
Introduction to etiquette begins with early childhood, conscious - years with 5. As it happens? In kindergartens and schools, special classes and lessons on ethics and aesthetics. And let's not offended by my teachers, but are usually boring, didactic, in a completely one-sided form of the learning rule. And what is the fate of all such teachings? Get the opposite effect - to comply with the rules does not want.
This relates to the theoretical part of the etiquette. And as almost instilled etiquette? Even worse. I would even say, in violation of all rules of etiquette. Shouting sentences, dictation. "Don't clap your door! ", "Wash your hands! ", "Sit straight! ", "Elbows off the table clean! ", "Not so fast, thoroughly chew your food! ", "Don't talk with your mouth full! ", "Not gets! ", "Mouth watch, when you sneeze! ", "Give place to the grandmother! ". But the most paradoxical in this series, here it is: "What are you screaming like crazy?! " (of course, this phrase outraged adults are screaming like crazy). All this would be funny if it were not so sad.
Children to say: "Do so, and not otherwise". It would be good to explain why not another. And even better would be to instill etiquette not directly, but indirectly, obliquely, so that the child wanted to meet them.
Exactly the opposite
A very unconventional way to instill good manners suggested in his time Grigory Oster, after writing "bad advice". The idea is to come up instead of useful tips harmful, came to him for obvious reason. Most often, children are protesting against everything that they recommend and do Vice versa. And if these children to give bad advice, then doing the reverse, they will do the right thing. Well, for example,
There is no more pleasant sessions
Than in the nose to dig.
All terribly interesting,
There are hidden inside.
And who look disgusting,
Let him not looks.
We, in the nose it does not climb,
Though he does not stick.
If you came to friends,
Not Zdorovya with anyone,
The words "please" and "thank you"
Don't tell anyone.
Turn away and to questions
For anyone not answer.
And then no one will say
About you that you're a chatterbox.
If hands for lunch
You are ruining salad
And shy about the tablecloth
Fingers to wipe their
Lower imperceptibly
Their under the table and there calmly
Wipe your hands
About the neighbor's pants.
On the cover of this collection of poems honestly written Book for naughty children" and below PostScript - "Obedient children are forbidden to read". Amazing bait, agree? Of course, there is another little trick that all poems written with an unusual, subtle sense of humor. Connection method from a nasty sense of humor - a good move in order, really, to teach etiquette and make fun of the ignorance, in this way demonstrating how should behave really polite and cultured man, and why is it bad to do otherwise.
Etiquette for Teddy bears
I once watched in the nursery this stage. My 5 year old daughter was playing with his favorite Teddy bear. She fed him with a spoon and told him: "Not gets, please. It's gross! " It is clear that Teddy bear could not slurp, just my daughter wanted to teach him good manners. And, that not suspecting, she gave me another idea on how to teach children etiquette. In-game. With dolls and plush toys.
The children do not like to memorize the rules in class, they don't like it when their check and correct their behavior (even if this is in sharp form). But children are not against the rules of etiquette. And they understand that to live better for everyone. Kids tired of the same monotonous role of a disciple, sitting at the Desk. I so want to feel in the role of a teacher.
Playing with dolls and plush toys, children learn etiquette very willingly. Adults can only throw new situation that will be drawn to encompass all the accidents of life, where you need to know the rules of etiquette.
Playing by the rules of etiquette
The game is the best way of learning for children. And, of course, not only playing with dolls, you can teach children etiquette. To teach children good manners, you can use many different games, where what is unique! ) etiquette rules will be the rules of the game!
The situation is. For playing selected normal household situation: "Welcome and introduction", "Telephone conversation", "How to give gifts", "How to behave in public transport", "How to behave in the auditorium". Ask the children to invent a story by the rules and against them. You can offer to illustrate the invented story scenes. Do not forget about the sense of humor.
Torn notes. The notes are written rules of etiquette so that they are formulated in two parts: the condition and the correct behavior. Then all notes are broken into 2 parts, and mixed. Children need to repair broken notes, properly selecting relevant to each other part.
Letter To Her Majesty Courtesy. Children write each other (and maybe even adults) letters that tell you what they want. Importantly outlining the content, not to violate etiquette. Letters are sent by e-mail. And the second stage receives the letter must evaluate it from the point of view of observance of rules of etiquette. Moreover, you can check two things in the observance of rules of etiquette: drafting letters and behavior described in the letter of situations.
Dorival. Not a difficult game. Suitable for kids. Adults read a poem, not ending phrase, and the children add the right words at the end of the string.
For example,
In the exchange of kind words join
And say more... (Hello)
You need to know as ABC
All... (the magic word)
A day does not fear a hundred times before
To say... (please).
Dialogue with subtext. This game is usually to be a lot of fun. The basis of the poem Vadim Levin, "Mr. snow".
Mr. Snow! Mr. Snow!
You come again?
- After an hour. I give you my word.
"Thank you, Mr. snow...
This poem is universal in the sense that the same text can Express very different connotations, including the opposite: delight, joy, self-control, indifference, disappointment, grief, fright, horror. Each child takes this poem, others guess the subtext and discuss the extent to which each reading was considerate of Mr. snow.
Polite-Medvezhiy
Teach etiquette and works of art. Some directly, others in a more veiled form. The children are reading, working on the story, empathize with the characters, and between the lines acquainted with the rules of conduct. There are many beautiful creations that could include in a book on etiquette. Here are the most popular:
1. "Clean the Turkey" (B. Zakhoder)
2. "The lesson of politeness": Bear five or six taught how to behave...(S. Marshak)
3. "Moidodyr", "Pecorino mountain" (K. Chukovsky)
4. "The tale of the lost time" (E. Schwartz)
5. The little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
The theatre of good manners
It is very useful to put with kids performances of literary works. Etiquette and theater - are inseparable. First, all the works, one way or another, teach etiquette in the broadest sense, namely the rules of communication between people - the good, justice, tact, compassion, friendship. Secondly, the historical background of any of the play reflects the features of the etiquette of the time. Thirdly, role playing, the child is living according to the rules of etiquette, if a positive role, and against the rules, if negative role. The experience of this stay will give the child the opportunity to feel. Not to understand, not to learn, not to learn, and FEEL. And this is the best way to teach a child to follow the rules of etiquette.
What for?
Any theory without practice is dead. If your little child communicates, leads a secluded life, if you do not attend with him theatres, museums, cafes, do not like to go for a visit or to receive guests, the situations in which the child will need to apply the rules of etiquette will be very limited, is minimized. Of course, that does not require, it would be reasonable to reckon your child is not necessary.
The task of parents is, first and foremost, is to socialize the child's life in an optimal way. It will develop its cultural, and make vital concept of "etiquette". Children will observe the behavior of other people in different circumstances to see, significant others, and will begin to look at ourselves. They will learn not already own rules and ways of interacting with other people on these rules.
And the main thing! Parents, follow the rules of etiquette themselves. Sure. Even the most boring games will not teach children good manners, if the sight of them will not be a good example for others to follow in your face. So your baby has grown a real gentleman or lady, be a gentleman or lady.
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