Oh, that women's sensitivity, we think, dabbing tears with a handkerchief and with hatred looking after the offender, who - obviously - leaves us with a sense of inner satisfaction. As we are? And we are now half-day will not be able to work: damn tears roll all over the face, completely washing away the excellent make-up, and not want to stop.
And then we, of course, give myself a vow, that we will not allow anyone else to spoil our mood: what are we up to someone else's words and emotions? Yes let the surrounding say and do anything, at least for the ears go, we don't trade your deep breathing and meditation to empty bamboo! But on the same day on our way may be the next provocateur, and... Oh, this delicate feminine nature! "People are evil, heartless, they seem to delight to see our tears", - schliewen we leverage the best girlfriend or friend. "This is the life," answer us.
Indeed, the life and the people around us are what they are and change their characters, we are not able to. But we can change our attitude to their words and deeds. Emotional stability, the ability to take a punch is not an innate feature of some of the lucky ones. This important quality can study any of us, if you will give yourself the trouble to learn of the proposed method.
Equipment depersonalization
Usually, most of us derive from a state of mental equilibrium wrong words spoken in a moment of anger, which may be, and to listen to-it is not worth it. But we listen, covered with paint, feeling rising tears... Listen and even remember all these speeches in order to be able repeatedly to mentally repeat them, savoring the offense.
If you see that your partner starts to "wind up" and is configured to give your face a lot of unpleasant words, but you painfully react to it, use the techniques of depersonalization. "Pebbles". Imagine that words are stones, which now fall from the mouth of your partner. It seems to him that he says something, and you can really see that this is only the stones, which all fall and fall, rolling in a little pile on the floor. The stones come in different colors and sizes, they have formed a decent hill near your feet, and you think, how many more left? Sooner or later the stock "pebbles" the person runs out, and then he puzzled pauses, waiting for your response. At this point, following the example of Voltaire, calmly say, "It's all emotions. Where are the arguments? "
"Kindergarten". If your companion (or companions) are prone to calling behavior, which sometimes lead you to nervous breakdowns, for the preservation of their health, you should learn to treat their antics, as the children's pranks. You're not offended by innocent children? Even if they do act up, waving, throwing toys on the floor, stomp your feet, you (as befits an adult) look at them graciously and calmly waiting for when they will run out of steam. In severe cases you can imagine what came in apery and now with interest at one of the monkeys that are trying very hard to look human, and even makes some articulate sounds (just try not to laugh, and then standing in front of you baboon might take offense).
Bring the situation to the point of absurdity
Sometimes the surrounding hurts, hinting at some of the shortcomings and missteps. For example, starting to look for flaws in we bought things or in the prepared dish (and in a whisper, reaching the incredible power of sound). Our error in such cases is to start to argue and argue - can greatly spoil our mood and bring the joy of victory offenders. And if you don't mind? Try to agree with the speaker. Tell yourself all the things that he wanted to tell you, and develop this omission to its logical end. You said that your spouse is extremely awkward, earns very little and reprimand him some village? Happily kunita talking and add: "Yes it is I am a great fool, and I'm a big fool that married him! "then grab her husband's hand and drag to dance joyfully mournfully him something ear. Your best friend, critically examining your new outfit, finds some flaws? Immediately it will agree and add: "Yes, you're right, this dress is ugly and sits muscovado, Yes, you know that I have absolutely no taste". All her talk at this point it becomes nothing. Well, unless you start to argue with you and try to convince that you are unfair to yourself, and taste you have, and a wonderful husband. Expressing out loud what your partner is only hinted, you deprive it of its weapons, disorientate. The enemy is defeated, he is in complete confusion as he had expected tears, resentment, dispute, and not only do you not have to argue with him, but continue to smile! Believe me, this technique is you don't have to repeat with one person more than two or three times: he quickly bored to hurt you if you will not answer his kicks.
Magic key
And finally, for lovers long to endure insults and savor irritation and discouragement can offer an effective method of cleansing the Augean stables of your bad mood. Sit on a chair, close your eyes again and remember all the hurtful, biting, scalding words that cause you the feeling of confusion and worthlessness or outbursts of aggression. Recall a situation in which all this happened, the person who you upset, remember the condition itself, feel it, and... stand up from his chair, leaving all the hurtful feelings on it.
Now you'll need another chair in which to sit, you will remember a time when you came out the winner from a difficult situation. Remember the joy, jubilation, and emotions that you felt at the moment good luck, and fasten these positive emotions through kinesthetic lock: touch the wrist, squeeze the hand in a fist or come up with something for his gesture. It is important that it was simple and easily reproducible, but at the same time special, not used in ordinary life. This gesture will be for you the magic key, which you can at any time to open the secret drawer with positive emotions and personal secrets of victory.
Now, when you are fully prepared, you can return to the chair No. 1 and dive left him hurt. But in that moment, when you feel the tears or anger again catch you breath, use your magic key. You will feel liberated positive emotions destroy the negative stereotype, you don't want to cry, you do not be angry with the offender.
Now, in any situation, when you are exposed to deliberate or accidental psychological attack, you should only contact your kinesthetic locked, to turn the tide in their favor.
The proposed method is not too difficult to master, and you will forget about the tears of failure and return his smile the winner and calm your soul.
Source:
A psychologist
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