One day on your horizon will appear He is beautiful, smart, funny, talented, full of charm (underline) the representative men of the tribe, ready to fulfill your wildest desires, endlessly indulge you cherish.Having met him, you would realize that He is the living embodiment of your ideal. And when you realize this, you will have to choose: to be with him, despite all the hardships and cons of their situation, or to gather strength and as quickly disappear. Because sooner or later you will become aware that he
married. Finally and irrevocably.
Anyone, but not me!
It is quite possible that someone reading these lines, think to yourself: "Well, with me it's never going to happen! "
Do not renounce - tricks of fate can only envy, and to fall on our contribution can be anything. Personally, I never imagined that my life will be a meeting that will turn all my notions of morality and ethics.
A few years ago, reading magazine articles about the deceived wives and mistresses of their husbands, as well as letters and those of others, I sincerely pitied first and misunderstanding belonged to the second. Unhappy wives seemed to me the victims, the innocent suffer because of the deceit and dishonesty of their spouses, and their rivals - these lionesses, these insatiable women-vamp, which finds particular pleasure in, in order to deprive the family of the husband and father.
Themselves to the category of Cougar I could take could not, even if you really wanted to. Friends often lovingly characterized me with the phrase "what a cute Bunny! "and about the tenacity and impertinence, which I thought peculiar to zachvatkin others ' spouses, and speech could not be.
However, this did not prevent me one warm evening, sitting in front of the screen and lazily talking with random people on the Internet, to accept the invitation of one of them - the most intelligent and interesting to meet in the Park of culture and rest ("filth and vulgarity," as he later called this man to know now firsthand.
The main mistake
After receiving my consent to the meeting, he (we'll call him E.) wrote me for my phone number and after he heard my voice on the phone had not ceased to amaze me with her knowledge of literature. Velvet soothing voice he read the poem behind the poem, each of which was in theme and sound just at the moment when it was needed.
For some reason he seemed like a nice and serious glasses (years of study at the faculty of Philology of Moscow state University has brought to my mind that image of the "storehouse of poetic Epistles"). After we talked deep into the night and agreed where and what time to meet, it was the moment of truth.
The same smooth, as before, a voice, he said: "I have something else to tell you. I want you to know. I'm married... " These words came as a bombshell. Don't want to say that at that moment I could not find the strength to reject the scheduled meeting, but the interest, simple feminine curiosity (well, at least a glimpse! ) took over. Saying that disapproving attitude to his family status, I nevertheless came to the meeting. And that was my main mistake.
A plus and a minus gives minus
It was worth it to me to see how all of my principles and my mother's morals went out the window. Before me stood a Prince, the man of my dreams, mister Perfection! To resist such a temptation there was no way. Needless to say that our relationship lasts to this day, is the third year I can't find the strength to leave him and seriously deal with the device a personal relationship with someone more room and aperspective.
But during this time I managed to build a system of pluses and minuses provisions of the mistress of the married men. Incidentally, a number of disadvantages with exploring tends to increase...
Pros
- You have a common secret, which is dedicated to only two.
"You're for it - a celebration of the soul, so spending time with you, he is kind, cheerful and pleasant. However, it is possible that if you had the opportunity to observe its behavior in the family circle, your opinion of him would change dramatically.
"Every time we meet with you, he wants to please you with a small gift. Therefore, noticing the smile lurking in the corners of the lips, you can expect that in a few minutes he will present to you: a box of delicious Belgian chocolate, or a book, or photo album, about which you've always wanted, or a chic perfume on you, which you did not dare to dream; or velvet box with something gold and fine; and so on - according to the circumstances and the size of his wallet. Most likely his wife, he is pleased with the gifts not so often. He already spending on family needs...
He will not make claims about your meetings with other FREE men. He feels guilty - including in front of you. How would he not want to be your only one, believe me, it is much safer it will be, if you will be married (at least, because in this case it will cease to attempt to breed with his legal wife and marry me).
- Just for you he reserves his sexual capacities, it is you decided on insane feats. It is easy to understand that sex with a woman with whom he every evening goes to bed, gradually become boring. Having lived side by side for a decade or more, people become almost family. And what kind of attraction between relatives can be a speech?
Cons
He will not be able to give you plenty of time, and for the most part, your meetings will be sporadic. What is most offensive, just at the moment when you tried to give him extraordinary evening, it certainly will be a lot of urgent matters, and you have alone to enjoy their culinary art and delicate lace his
fine underwear.
- It is unlikely that you will be able to introduce him to my friends, so what about a fun evening in the company will have to forget. He will find a thousand reasons to avoid them. Who knows, maybe in their circle he comes across a former classmate, or worse, a colleague, not by hearsay knows about his / her marital status?
- All holidays and weekends (with rare exceptions) you will have to spend alone. "On weekdays, my family sees me only early in the morning (if I was awake) and late evening (if you haven't already gone to bed). Should they be a chance for a normal conversation with me... " " I'll explain it.
This will have to agree that the family is sacred. Mind you all understand, but to tell us that the heart is not so easy. Agree, not very nice, sitting under the Christmas tree and twirling colorful gift boxes, think about what he does and what he thinks of this festive evening. Even more alone in holding such festivals as the March 8 and 14 February, especially after the street this evening, as if on purpose, will meet embracing couple.
- You will not be able to call him when it is you need most. To share or to ask for help, you have to wait until a more reasonable time than, for example, 9 am on Saturday or 11 p.m. on Monday. Often overwhelmed with emotions at the most inopportune moment, and when he is ready to listen to you, you will have time to burn out.
And finally, the most important thing: sooner or later, as the relationship progresses, your feelings will become stronger and stronger, its unavailability will lure you with redoubled force, to resist which is very, very difficult. Even if you initially did not intend to have him for a husband, this idea eventually will settle down firmly in your head.
You will try to get rid of it, but all of the above disadvantages will certainly add up to one long, sharp line that will divide your mind into two parts.
The first is "the situation suits me 100%", the second "but it could be otherwise... " followed by fantasy on the theme "If he were free, we would... " the Consequence of this dichotomy often becomes sadness-a sadness that can go into a prolonged depression.
However, the latter scenario is not as bad as it seems. A similar condition will help to assess the situation, to draw conclusions and exit of a love triangle with minimal losses.
This is important!
And yet, Affairs with married men cannot be considered a bug that could lead to irreparable consequences (depression, pregnancy, abortion, negative opinions of others, decreased self-esteem etc). Quite often, these relationships bring a lot of positive emotions, be the salvation of family routine (in case if you are married) and in any case, memorable life episode.
Anyway, the first thing is simply to estimate the number of the pros and cons of the current (or upcoming) situation. And only then to make a decision: to be or not to be loved - but not his wife! - with all the ensuing consequences.
"What is this? - can you shout. - If he is married, this does not mean that he died! " It is these thoughts, by the way, come up with every other woman, for, according to statistics, almost 50% of the female population of Russia have experience novels with married men. And, given the inherent many ladies curiosity, this number is unlikely to change in the lower side.
Well, negative (according to the majority had been in the ladies mistresses) experience the same experience. And this ephemeral substance not to buy at any price.
Source:
Horoscope @ EN
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