We make the diagnosis
My office is on three. With me sitting there, Andrew and Peter. Andrew served in the internal troops, Peter did not serve at all, but also a considerable height and weight. In short, it is perfectly normal guys, with, of course, skeletons in the closet (and who does not? ). Exactly these skeletons do not include the fact that Andrew and Peter live with their mothers. That is, they did not live with them always - of course, each of them left the Alma mater, but then (it happened) they returned. Andrew after a divorce left his wife and son house. Buy new housing could not be removed - not wanted. Rather, hoped to shoot, but the first time it was hard to be alone. My wife went bad on soul of the cat scraped, Andrew and I decided: I will stay at moms. Very long. "Not for long" delayed - since then it's been almost two years. "Until meeting a decent woman, not going anywhere, " says Andrew conviction. - Why? Mom understands everything, we each other do not interfere; besides, at her age near someone has to be. Besides, we have a rare case - a really good relationship". Similar to the. Otherwise would be a 34-year-old man to spend his day off in the countryside in the company of moms.
Peter the situation is similar, except that with the presence of "mother" (his expression) he soon reconciled than happy to accept. However, to the quarrels Peter does not fall - boiler mutual irritation rarely boils really.
How women react to such stories? Stress, as yet. In the best case surprised at worst sniff, hang up on the guy labeled "infantil" (rag, hidden maniac - what the imagination) and leave. Adults must build their lives separately. In addition, mother - extra item in the designer relations, which in General will not attach. In addition, there is a danger that will be useful in case the man from the two of you will opt for the mother. And in General, to live with their parents is something completely defeatist. If the guy can't even rent an apartment, what with him in the future good? We make the diagnosis: male, living with his mother, is annoying and inconvenient; it is dependent and weak. All right? Plus or minus the nuances, but in General, Yes, girls?
Between M and W
In General, if we talk about men and relationships with mothers, here the devil knows how to negotiate. Despite the fact that the analysis of these relations around (we in this case are talking about ladies) usually boils down to a pair of boring in teeth stereotypes. And chief among them is this: if a man is too close with my mother, it's all over. Why? Yes all for the same competition. He will have to make a permanent choice between M and W (I mean the Mother and the Woman/Wife, of course), he will listen to the mother, not me, and so on, finally on the podium will be a place for two. And has for one of me.
It's all girls, clear as day. And how can I handle it if I brought it hard in these wilds and man your really marozavicy, also known. No way to be. To take and tedious to fight day in and day out. And now I'll tell you how things are from the other shore - male. You may not learn anything that would startle you, but even if and so, all the same: repetition is the mother of learning.
Soup as a base value
I have two children. When they were gone, I looked at others and thought: how comes that every parent thinks their child is the most beautiful just the fact? Objectively because all children are different. And sober looking, you can say that kid is cuter than this, you can do nothing there. However, none father-mother recognizes it in relation to their child. He refuses to see what it actually is. And here, I thought, as so arranged, the people that they are still childless, you can judge objectively, and become parents, and all the eye strays. Where the watershed, at what point do we lose our sanity? When you see your baby for the first time or later? And I gave myself a word that necessarily, becoming a father, will try to fix in the mind of this moment.
And here I am father. Not the first day already. Well what can I say? First, divide this I've wasted. And secondly, as they say in Odessa, you'll laugh, but my kids are really amazing beauties. It just so happened. I judge objectively and honestly, but David and Asya are the most beautiful kids in the world.
Understand what am I? To the fact that for every mother that her son will always be the best man in the world. The most beautiful. The smartest. She will be ready to listen to him as much as her son will be ready to speak, no matter whether we are talking about football, if he's a football player, or Fermat's theorem (if he Perelman). In the face of the mother of the man has a concentrate feminine qualities that he needs the most. Mom would not change, do not be fooled. Will listen. Will admire (Oh Yes, this is important! ) the most insignificant victories of men - those that other women will not even give value. My mother will always be lunch. With hot soup, how he loves. Soup - this is important. This, among other things, a basic value.
But the most important thing, next to mother a man could be both the cool and relaxed, not to play, not to show off. A rarity in these times, in the sense that other women sometimes and will not relax. All this is very serious and touching at the same time.
The problem lies elsewhere. Mother's love is selfless and, in General, blind, often indulges weaknesses. Either their mother does not see, or sees, but closes his eyes. Whatever the man did, how would a nor led, the mother will find an excuse. Like it correctly, still love, but fraught.
Deniskin stories
I have this friend, let's call him Dennis. He is 36, he lives with his mother, and this is the case when the mother must flee to Yes so that the heels sparkled. But it never will be. Denis's mother is a strong-willed woman, Director of foreign exchange shop in Soviet times, after the owner of a shopping center, from the same breed as those who do not accept objections. Denis is the only son, the late child. Full of talent, as roast goose with apples. English? Brilliant. Musical ability is fantastic. A great cook. The stylish guy and, as far as I can tell, handsome, type "brad pitt meets Jude law". No, he's not gay. But he has atrophy of the will, unreasonably inflated ego and he's a drunkard. All these qualities are developed in Denis's mom. I know its a long time ago and saw there was a process of decomposition. "DIN't want to go to work? And it is not necessary, let the searches themselves, I earn for two." "She throwed out, you said you don't care? Fool! "
The most powerful chord mom took when it became clear that Dennis gastritis with suspected ulcer. It sounded like this: if you want to drink, drink only vodka, for the ulcer best option. As a result of Ding to his 36 years turned into a charming loser, leading a leisurely life in my mother's apartment. Last place of work - the sushi master (! in network Japanese restaurant. He liked - convenient schedule, food again, small but stable money. Two months ago Denis knocked out, because tired. Sitting at home, playing the piano, reading Dickens in the original language.
As for women, they had, of course, are found, but I suspect it is not for love or sex, and to confirm its "wow". Dinh needs to be delighted the spectators. One mother him a little.
Those girls that he had, or have, go through the obvious stage. First, they sink to the exterior of Denis, then on his charm, their intrigues him Lentz, ladies short-sighted confuse indifference with charm. Some even fall in love, but quickly discovered: there's nothing there. Rather, Vice versa: so tight all culled Deniskin superego that for others it is not.
What is he?
This history demonstrates the opposite side of motherly love. And the danger to the men trapped under a concrete slab that love, so that neither move nor make a separate step. But! The thing is that all these underwater stones are laid in childhood, and if the guy has sguil and did not yield increased quite by itself, in adult life, it does not penetrate. And no mother will not spoil him - and you next to him is life.
My neighbors on the working Cabinet made from such a test. They are living proof that it is not a question, does the man with the parents or separately. But if the kid has not ripened, not increased, consider the crippled. Caught this on the horizon, feet, hands, ladies, and ran without looking back. Mom have done their job.
On the other hand, that I was wrong "mommy this, mommy that"... Sergei Dovlatov wrote: "Three things a woman can do for a Russian writer. She can feed him, believe in his genius; and finally, to leave him alone." If we proceed from the fact that in this quote is the key to man's heart (optional writing), the mother will do all this for his son. Do not hesitate to call a genius, a tasty meal and, if necessary, will not meddle with questions. And you? Are you ready? So then nothing for my mother to blame. With self start.
Tactics uzywane" with the mother-in-law
Author:
Kuzmichev And.
Source:
Elle
No comments:
Post a Comment