How to punish a disobedient child?

Imagine the situation. At the table the whole family. Your child is playing with Cutlery, it engages the glass, and now the glass is transformed into an excavator or truck and going to the construction site or wherever he wanted. At this point, he makes the remark: "No need to play with glass, it can break". Our child looks at dad, waits a fraction of a second, throws protective glance at her mother, and here again the truck-Cup rides for unloading. Dad makes a comment again, this time slower and more expressive. Child again ignores the remark and now the glass on the floor and broken. Surely you have had similar experiences. In different families in this situation will react differently. Someone would yell at the child, someone would simply pretend glass of something not there. But it became clear that two ends of the same stick, but where is the middle. How to punish a child, so this was good?


Advise the mother not to interfere in this situation. Once dad came from, then he shall bring the situation to its logical conclusion. And the mother should not interfere with the protection of the father and child protection. She should behave so that both knew that they two would have to resolve this situation. If you can't silence to be present at this conversation, it is best to leave the kitchen. All comments about the actions of the father, you tell him eye to eye.




At first glance it may seem strange, but the disobedience of children lies in the lack of parental authority. If you see that your child ignores your comments, this should be a sign with his hand, that it requires clear boundaries.




Restrictions are not always unpleasant. Remember the word "comfortable", if it comes to location, it is almost always small. The child in the womb, surrounded by her mother and feels cozy. Once in a borderless world the child is not alone, he is uncomfortable and his disobedience signal you about it. Have you ever noticed how a crying baby sometimes calms down when he pressed to his chest, not just to take arms, and press it, then it is also about boundaries. With the growth of the child's needs within the boundaries of another kind, and your task as gently as possible to set these boundaries. Over time the child learns to set these boundaries itself.




At the age of 2 years, the child rarely can be called disobedient because he mostly communicates with his mother and even is not separate from it. Conventionally, at the age of two the child begins to actively verify what is possible and what is not - is trying to build the framework.




If you're tired of the disobedience of the child, then think about this. You have a growing child who is able to exercise his will, his will is strong. Is there a reason to rejoice. Such a child will not allow myself to be intimidated, he wants to be with an authoritative parent, he wants us to trust him. Otherwise the child will understand your teachings so that while you watch his behavior is unacceptable, but as soon as you turn...




Child loves Jack. They are very like him. What it's like not attempt to expand the boundaries. Mom enters the room, the child sticking the plug from the wall outlet, trying to put the nail in the hole. Mom screaming siren: "Neela!! ". The kid froze. Switched to something else, but not for long. After mom several times shouted child "No" in repetitive situations, the child came to the conclusion that the mother climb into the socket with nail not worth it. But when the Pope, he continued his experiments, but until dad did not explain the clear language what will happen if the nail will find phase.




One of the reasons why the child checks the boundary strength is its uncertainty exhibited in the boundaries of one of the family members. The same situation all look different. Mother scolds, dad can not see, grandpa praise. Moreover even one member of the family helps the child to turn on the light stick, and tomorrow for the same thing he scolds the child. What to do to a child? To be naughty.




If you ban something the child, remember that the same situation could happen again in the house, on the street. You must be firm in your position (if you have it) anywhere. And while the grandmother came to visit the child may fingers to get in a jam, and then you remembered that you, too, could not and scolded the child, fearing the reaction of the grandmother. Draw your own conclusions. When you realize why the child was behaving unruly, it is likely that the word "naughty" will disappear.




Of course it is very difficult to keep the frame the same in all situations. But nobody said that it would be easy.




Consider the boundary in advance, if the last time your baby is not conducted themselves in the sauna and had to drive out of steam. This time you can use an infrared sauna, so you can easily control the session, and the child will be able to watch cartoons. On the other hand, if you realized that was not the case in the previous situation, you can repeat the situation intentionally, but your reaction, the position will be different.




Another situation. The child saw in the toy store and cries and groans and tosses near the shelf with this toy. How to be in this situation? Some recommendations there. First - do not throw the child. Don't tell him "I go, you stay." He suffers so much, here you add fuel to the fire. Show them that you are with him. Hug or sit down next to him. Why not buy a toy. Try to understand what the child feels now, and tell me what you think of it. If you scare the child, that will leave him, the more likely he will be scared and crying will stop, but fear can go very deep.




Another tip, if you are trying to make contact, and the child does not calm down. The toy is not worth buying. It was her right to buy as soon as the conflict began, when you were ready. But now if you buy a toy, the child will come to the conclusion that if you scream and demand, something will give. And the roots of this conclusion, too, then you will find.




Remember that the disobedience of the child, it is Your inability to Express and explain their position. If you work for yourself in this quality, and other aspects of their lives can be transformed.





Tips that can help you


- Reflect on their actions, think why you do that, be sure that you are doing. Think about how you will perceive your actions child.


- If the situation is important and you said his vision of the situation, the child should be confident that you will act according to what was said.

Source:

Dolenci

women's web magazine