To give or not to give children money as a reward for lessons or help with the housework? Some believe that giving should be, because it will help to teach them how to properly handle money. Others are strongly against it, saying that, being accustomed to money, the child has never and will do nothing for free.
How to handle this situation correctly?
The secrets of motivation
What causes a person to perform certain actions, psychologists call motivation. If you think about it, all the motivations boil down to two basic ones: fear and love. In children as well as adults - are favorite activities that they do with interest, pleasure and enthusiasm. Is the work required to perform only under duress.
The secret is to be able to interest the child in the work he wants to do, to make him liked both the process and the result. If the child is afraid that he will punish or deprive of something pleasant, it is also very even inspire him to deeds. But it is unlikely in this case will love the process.
Let's say you sleep and see how your child absorbs the books one after the other, omnea not by days but by hours. But in reality it will not be read for any price.
However, such "gingerbread" is still there. There are no messages and conversations on the topic "how nice to be able to read"? Change the stimulus material - cinema tickets, new skates, the possibility of an extra hour to play a computer game. Or just the money that the child will spend alone.
Why not?
Money is a common way of encouragement. However, there are some peculiarities and pitfalls. But if to consider, that to fear for that child and would not move their finger "for free", you don't have to.
1. The age of the child
. Preschooler need for personal money is still very small. While all bought by the parents. Therefore, for him, money is still not too strong stimulus. Pupils need more money: you can already buy a toy or something good to eat in the school cafeteria. The teenager's pocket money is simply necessary. It feels almost an adult and independent, they need money to support this adulthood, for their own expenses. In some cases, you may need to just give pocket money, others offer earn.
2. The real needs of the child
. It is important that the child understand the connection between "want", "can" and "must". On the one hand, money should be enough for a small, but significant for a child purchases (games, movies). On the other, the child must understand the difference between necessity and extravagance.
3. The amount to be received by the child
. This is better to negotiate "on the shore" - i.e. to talk about how much money and for what you give him as a reward. Agreed, not bargain and not to cheat, but honestly follow the orders.
4. Moral satisfaction. Teach your child to get moral satisfaction from a job well done. Giving him earned money, be sure to praise him. For example, if you want to teach the child to clean the shoes with evening, in the morning, pay attention to how nice to wear clean shoes, and most importantly, do not need to spend time on it in the morning when it is so little.
5. Freedom of choice. Ask what your child is going to spend the money. Carefully listen to it and very gently share your opinion on this. But never impose his decisions and do not dictate how to manage money.
Pitfalls
1. Many parents are afraid that if you pay for their care of the child at home, he will generally refuse to help parents. Such concerns are not unfounded. Ideally from early childhood should raise the child so as to help to relatives was his natural need. But you have to understand that without financial incentives there is still not enough.
2. In some families do not always have the financial ability to give money. And it should be able to children to explain. But a small amount can highlight even the most modest family.
3. Your gift-promotion may not like: even if such a thing was the subject of dreams is the same yesterday, today, she might razonravitsya. And things bought for themselves on their savings, children are valued much more. It's their own, informed choices.
4. Younger students can buy a lot of stuff. But, first, it's not so bad - the child learns to deal with Finance, this is his first experience; secondly, you can tactfully and kindly explain what to buy and what not, leaving the right choice for your child. Kids this opinion into account in the future.
5. You cannot encourage the child that he did not do: for example, to promise him a reward if he will not play noisy games, because you have a headache. In this case, the child learns the template is incorrect behavior and concludes that if it will make noise, it will reward. And if you sit quietly gets nothing.
Child and money is a big issue and complex. To pay or not to pay him for good grades or home care - everyone decides for himself.
However, never forget about other ways to encourage good smile, gentle touch, cooperative games and work on confidential conversations from the heart, after all it is for a child is much more important than any money.
Source:
Леди@mail.ru
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