At the sight of his toothbrush, and remained standing in the bathroom in the glass, your eyes welling up with tears. In the form of postcards, which you long ago gave, I want to spit on all and to call him just to hear his voice, to ask him to return to reclaim what was, what cannot be retracted. And even if yesterday you thought he was a rascal and a scoundrel, he counted in his mind the drawbacks, hated him for all the wrongs that you have done today, for some reason you suddenly remembered his dimples and that he is very cute smiles in his sleep, like a child... sound Familiar?
What to do next, everyone decides for himself. Someone tried to glue the broken Cup", some people prefer to mourn her grief, someone desperately trying to "be friends", someone he clenched his teeth and goes from morning to work, smiling, pretending that all is fine with him and just fine, and at night crying into my pillow...
But the initial shock, you were finally convinced that the past is irretrievable and need to live on. But how? If all thoughts revolve around one person, everything goes wrong, work is not work, do not happy. Let's try to start from scratch to build their new life. Already without it. But nevertheless, happy and interesting life.
Open a new word document or take a blank sheet of paper and a pen. Gather your thoughts and make a list of all his faults. Read the list several times, add. Now write, pressing the Caps Lock key, or just in large letters: "FROM ALL THIS, NOW I am FREE, NOW I would BE:.." - and list what you have now. At least you will have a bit more free time, and what else? Maybe you will finally be able to bring perfect order in his apartment, or you no longer need to get up in the morning half an hour early to make him Breakfast? The pros will be there for sure, the main thing is actually to want to find them. Review written again, breathe with relief and finally smile. Enough to cry, a smile comes to you much more than tears!
In difficult situations is invaluable friendship. How do you now want to call your best friend and all as the spirit to tell her! Probably well worth making. But, the important point once. You told her you listened to and comforted? Thank her from all my heart and close on the subject of his departure. No need again and again to come back to this. And don't tell her unhappiness to everyone. Once share their grief with a true friend, and that's enough.
Stop it, finally, constantly thinking of it! Do not torture yourself, this makes no sense. No need to think about accusatory monologue that will blow his mind if he will call you (not calling, you bastard! not again go through in mind its shortcomings and to convince himself that he is not worth one of your tears (you've already made a list of them and read it clearly is not one time - well, that's enough, why in talking? ), no need to guess where he is now and what he is doing, misses do you at least a little bit. Him from your painful deliberation neither hot nor cold. But you from these thoughts poorly. To the extent that bad physically. So why do you need them?
So, get rid of the obsessive thoughts. The first thing to do is to occupy yourself with. You (scary thought) to go headlong into work, you can and should organize their leisure time so sad-romantic thought you just didn't have time. Actively communicate with friends, go to the theater and cinema, sign up for shaping and painting courses for adults! You now vital new experiences and activity, including physical. You prefer to stay in an empty apartment in the long evenings? So don't spend at home the whole evening! Get used to live without thinking about it, stop exhausting your internal dialogue and just enjoy life. It you have one, good, no matter what, and the world around does not lie in ruins.
The first time you need what is called, "forgotten", some way to distract yourself from painful thoughts, and then the cause will take the best doctor of the time. The only thing to do is to try to escape through alcohol, excessive consumption of sweet, gambling and stuff like that. To change one addiction for another is not the solution. Do not create additional problems for themselves, not to aggravate their situation by pangs of conscience for the points outside the plan kilograms, not reinforce your and so whipping over the edge of emotion alcohol...
The first time you should avoid just that, one way or another, might plunge you into the abyss of love melancholy. The film "Titanic" while that is contraindicated for you, take a good look something fun (but beware - not a romantic Comedy)! And cute song about love that just about you, too, will not. And past the cafe, where was your first date, too boldly pass. Believe me, it will take quite some time, and you calmly go there to sit with a friend and even casually tell her what is memorable to you this place. And tears when it will not start for eyes. And "Titanic" did you not move away. Give yourself time to recover and forget. Do not twist itself.
Release it. Former man - it's just one of the episodes of your life. You while were together, you had a lot of good places and bad... many thanks to him for all the good and bad... won't keep the evil (why waste your health? ) - it was what it was. It's all in the past, and you have time to go further. You have now a new life. And how to know what's ahead, what will be your next relationship? At the moment you are free and open to everything new. This is a wonderful state, enjoy it to the fullest! By the way, how about to change the hairstyle and to rearrange the furniture in the apartment?
Now let's talk about friendship after a breakup. You do not build illusions, don't want a romantic relationship, but just want to be friends with him. Why not, it's real. But, again, wait. Let her and his feelings to cool down. Do not try to be friends right after a break, it is unlikely you will succeed. It is possible that someday you will make wonderful friends. But it will not be right now, and in the best case, a year and a half. So don't rush things.
And most importantly - safely look ahead. Look at their parting as the beginning of a new life, as a life experience. Remember: everything that is done - all the best.
Source:
School of life
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