Surely in your life met a family in which not all was well (for example, drunk father and his wife had to "pull strap" for two), but the child was an excellent student, athlete, handsome. And all around were you surprised by the success of such children, home and calmed themselves and others the idea that poor family would not have been raised such a child.
All the attention of the household was focused on the future accomplishments of your son or daughter, this kept the family and the adults gradually lose the ability to build relationships with each other. And when the child ceased to be the first and best, it was a trauma for him, and the impetus for the collapse of such a family. Family, where he grew hero, Superman, all of which should help all for everyone to do, because it always turns out better, faster, and how much it is necessary the man-hero, nobody thought of. It praised the teachers, they were proud of the school, he did everything himself and best of all, his motto were the words from the song of the Soviet era: "If not me, then who? " And very few people wondered how difficult it was to be the hero of the family, and whether in General.
But life is such a hero has its negative side.
First, his achievements he is often perceived as something necessary and inevitable: both circumstances or life is made, but not as self-actualization. This hero is different from a successful businessman: businessman overcomes "planned" difficulties (he knew that to achieve this goal it is necessary to overcome something in particular, but not more, and the hero takes upon himself not only their problems but also problems of others).
Secondly, the heroes try to avoid risk, because in this situation it is not always possible to do everything perfectly, and live with a rating of "good" hero does not know how.
Thirdly, the hero of the family lives with a sense of constant congestion (primarily psychological): try to see everything, to do everything perfectly. And if something goes wrong, it "does not work" is growing like a snowball: things go wrong in many ways (because the hero never learned to live with it "does not work"), there are problems with health.
In the personal life of the hero of the family can also be a problem. For example, they are rarely pleased with the successes of their children because the family can only be one hero of the family. Much more likely to occur in a different situation. The child is unable to understand something or to do, ask for help of the father (or mother, for the family hero - concept vnepolovoy), one wonders where he got such a bungler, he does everything for the child, not realizing that with this approach, the child will never learn to do it yourself, and hence in the future, not all obstacles can be overcome without help.
To live a human hero uneasy his desire for everyone to do can be annoying and even to develop home inferiority complex. His tireless activity and its results are often not very useful to others, but to say this is not always convenient. If on the horizon married hero somebody will appear leggy and cute and say, "I'll die without you," he immediately rushes to save that, forgetting about his family.
Source:
Femy.ru
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