The teenager is difficult to adapt to rapid changes in their appearance. Yesterday he deftly climbed on slides and climbing frame in the Playground, and now doesn't know where to put hands and feet, sitting behind the Desk. Only accustomed to their new dimensions in the next couple of months is the next leap of growth. In addition, in a transitional age, children become more observant and critical of yourself. If little girl enough to tie a white bow and to make a compliment that she felt beautiful, young girls such tricks are not functioning. Teenagers are guided by the opinion of their peers and compare themselves with top models, shining flawless skin.
Here are a few steps that need to be taken to the parents to help the teenager to love yourself in an unusual form.
1. First of all, tell the student that not only was he a victim of acne and jumps growth. In varying degrees, these changes are characteristic for all children. Show your pictures and photos of other relatives at the time of puberty. Tell us about how they themselves suffered once for fear the wrong time to sweat or blush. Comparing your current appearance with old photos, teen believes that his misfortunes must be held.
2. Despite the fact that teenage problems are temporary, ignore and make fun of them cannot. Support the child's specific actions or actions: go with him to the dermatologist, visit the stylist or together poceluite over hair and make-up at home. Student it is important to feel that he can influence the situation now rather than waiting for nature to correct their mistakes.
3. The reason for the emergence of complexes can serve as natural changes in the body of a teenager, associated with its floor. So, many girls perceive rounded hips and Breasts as disfiguring their completeness, and young men are often embarrassed vegetation on the face and body. To say goodbye to such misconceptions, it is important to show a normal teenager specimens of masculinity and femininity for example, paintings, works of art or medical literature. Fashion often contradicts the logic of biological laws, and, looking at the billboards or looking at photos of stars, it is difficult to form a correct idea of what women are different from men.
In splendid isolation
Another common adolescent complex - shyness, inability to find a common language with their peers. Usually this problem comes from childhood. But if the past parents or other adults took on the role of mediators in the interaction of the student with peers in adolescence the child has to independently establish contact with classmates and other companies. However, some of your actions will help the teenager.
1. Leave the choice of friends for the child. Perhaps some of them seem rude or judgmental. Expressing his discontent, you only exacerbate the problem of a teenager, because he may not be alternatives. It is better to talk about how dubious acquaintance can become a mediator in the class or in some company to expand social circle.
2. The error of many children is that, getting a new team, they try to make friends with the leader and his "retinue". Encourage your teen to look to those who have similar problems in communication, and to unite them around itself.
3. Help the child to find an extracurricular activity that will raise its credibility in the classroom. Let, for example, will be recorded in the Studio of acting, or in a section of fencing.
Parents do not choose?
Some teenagers, fear of losing the respect of his peers, avoid to acquaint them with his family. One think that parents are not a prestigious profession, others that they don't earn much money, others do not invite friends to visit, so they did not laugh at insufficient stylish interior.
To save the child from these contrived problems, you need to raise your credibility in his eyes.
1. The student may not be clear, what exactly are his family. In detail tell him about their duties, production difficulties, without false modesty, emphasizing the importance of their positions and their own importance.
2. Paying tribute to the youthful maximalism and inexperience, pick the name of their specialty more "prestigious" synonym. For example, not "sold", and "Manager of a trading hall", "Secretary", and "assistant Director".
3. If a teenager thinks his family unsecured, ask him about the standard by which he is guided, and show its relevance. Explain to your child that money may be treated differently. Some people prefer to buy on credit is an expensive fur coat and then sit on bread and water, and someone walks in the winter, down jacket, but in the summer goes to rest on the sea.
4. Reassure the teen that his main enemy is disrespectful to one's own family. If he will be proud to tell about the profession of the parents, with warmth to speak of his grandmother, the peers will not have cause for ridicule.
Adult game
The contents of one complex can be described by the word "never": "never kissed a boy", "never tried alcohol, and so on, Looking at his more "experienced" friends and girlfriends, teen feel small, insignificant and deprived of something important. Life passes by, and he is doing that is learning. Do to help your child have to allow him to drink, to smoke and to communicate freely with the opposite sex?
1. Own experience the teenager could replace awareness. Having theoretical knowledge about the existing types of alcoholic drinks and cigarettes, and also about intimate relationships, it will be more comfortable feel in any company. Giving the student access to specialized literature, make sure that it contained information about the negative consequences and risks of "adult" behavior.
2. Try to make the teenager felt that he had a choice: to wait with the beginning of sexual life or be illegible in contacts, to refrain from Smoking or to become dependent on nicotine. As an intelligent, educated man, he is unlikely to harm ourselves.
3. Don't be afraid to let the student try a mild alcoholic beverages during family holidays, stressing that you want only to satisfy his curiosity, and not to attach to regular alcohol use.
The teenager needs to test their strength
Adolescence can be called the period of the complexes, which are experienced by the child is very painful and, most importantly, can under adverse conditions, to stay with him forever.
During this period the young man or woman especially needs the support of parents. Adults should remember that the basis of their assistance to teenage love and understanding. Every parent knows when their child's bad mood when he feels weak and helpless. Try to find a approach to adolescent, listen carefully to it, not imposing his opinion.
But that's not all. In adolescence it is very important that the child had the opportunity not only to accept love, but also to give her. He must understand that he himself is able to care for someone, to help others, to take responsibility for their actions. Realizing this and sending his energy in the right direction, the boy or girl will feel confidence in yourself and find the strength to overcome the crisis of adolescence. And complexes will disappear by themselves.
Author:
Baulin M., psychologist
Source:
The health of the schoolchild
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