If you are only in the first month of pregnancy, probably already asked yourself the question: would he be a good father for your children? Is it enough to worry about the development of the fetus, whether it will survive when the kid goes to school, and how serious will educate him?
Father-well done?
Try to ask any mother if they like, as the father behaves in relation to children. Well if he is doing his job and always ready to share the care of the child at least in half? Even if you do not hear in response heavy sigh or cry sacudase soul, then at least some skepticism you will notice. Whereas if you ask specifically articulate the shortcomings of the mountain-father, most likely, nothing coherent in response you get. This approach says only one thing: very few moms trying to constructively approach the distribution of responsibilities. Accustomed to continue to consider it clumsy and lazy. Familiar, but it's convenient?
Why man needs gratitude?
The question "do you Know how to properly care for the child, and how do you know for sure? " puts women at even greater impasse. Yes, the child should eat a healthy diet. So dad left to look after the baby while mom buys groceries at the nearby supermarket, probably shared with him a spoon of instant soup. What do you want, if the father receives guidance only on a short stay with the child for "older"? If the right to become a parent is given to us by birth, the skills we acquire in the process of raising a child, so there is nothing unnatural in the fact that to learn together and share the responsibility for the result by two.
Patterns of behavior and role in the family we create self-focusing primarily on what he saw around him in childhood: what examples consider the positive and what, relatively speaking, happiness prorock for his krowinski in the future. Of course, all of them are different. The woman involved in the "baby" theme from an early age, and therefore the information it receives far more than the man. The model of the future men and women are in constant conflict, and to find a compromise, it is necessary at least to try to search.
Do you think that the father should educate the child, and the family of your husband this regularly engaged in the mother. But dad taught him to repair electrician in the apartment, arranged Cycling and skiing in the surrounding area and told tales of the army of the last before going to sleep, because is not able to communicate with teachers and parent meeting was not once in my life. It is unlikely this situation he experienced discomfort, so the happy moments of his childhood trying to emulate for their own children, and that you think this is completely wrong, your husband may not even guess. Especially if you constantly hear in your address only criticism.
Children's happiness
Trying to make men approximate father that meets your requirements and the latest trends methodology the education of the younger generation, we often forget the most important thing is about the emotional harmony of the child has two parents, adults and intelligent enough to always feel secure and able to satisfy any curiosity, based on their authoritative opinion.
What to do if your child is lying?
Strange, but often we have to remind ourselves that children love us the way we are, not what we try to be in their eyes. Moreover, the minds of children, not yet a narrow-minded set of stereotypes, intuitively, extracts the parents of those qualities that are necessary in this situation. And if the father is much more interesting to watch adventure series than to walk in the yard, where every day is going the same female team of young mothers and grandmothers, it is not necessary to insist that the TV was switched off immediately, because the body needs fresh air.
Expert advice
"Much in the perception of the behavior of the Pope depends on the overall mood in the family, " says psychologist Irina Savenkova. - If a woman feels as a mother doubtfully, she will seek support from men. But it takes sometimes unsympathetic forms - from attempts overly controlling father to the contrary, usalive its decision of all questions relating to children and care about them".
Those who believe that the father is absolutely not involved in family life, and those who are just planning offspring and is concerned about the upcoming challenges, you can suggest the following.
A woman, even a novice in motherhood, at the level of the subconscious understands what her role in life of the kid. The man is in an ambiguous position on this matter at least the first time. Begin to write his story" at the stage of preparation for childbirth and the first days of their life. Tell me about the reactions of the child to dad, as he waits for his job, as rejoicing in his appearance or recognize his voice.
- Give a man freedom of action. Try not to intervene when ask for help in something. If your instructions are quite clear and specific, hardly separate nuances can affect the quality of the result in General.
- Be careful with criticism. You, too, all was not right. The participation of the father in any process associated with the child, is first of all their communication, their mutual involvement, sharing of emotions and convergence. The rest is a matter of technique and experience.
- Don't forget that mom and dad is more of a whole, as well close to people that complement each other, but not vzaimozatmeniya. The man has a different role. Do not attempt to compare the level and nature of its concern about the child and feelings about his father in the same moments. Here the words of the famous song about the fact that the Pope, of course, can anything, but mom still he can never be, and should not.
Source:
Women's information and entertainment portal WDay.ru
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