The conflict between them laid by nature, for both love one man and pretend to reciprocate with his hand.
"With a mother-in-law relationship did not exist", - I often hear from women that phrase. What lies behind the word "not happened"?
Insufficient knowledge of potential relatives, their family structure.
"When my husband decided to get married, then it was immediately decided that we shall also live with his parents. Mother-in-law I would have liked! Although the mother gently warned me... For months I never saw the mother-in-law with a rag, she has never cooked a meal. And this remained the mistress of the house! She doesn't know how to cook, but not a bit of this don't hesitate. Come home from work and immediately to the stove pots and pans: "what we have to eat? " Or in the morning: "now We will prepare Breakfast. And after I and my husband will do everything, we hear: "What kind of Breakfast I prepared? " And this is quite seriously! "
The family of the husband the center of the Universe is the mother-in-law. She is the only woman, my favorite was once a daughter. In her opinion, with the wedding of the son of little changes its orbit is added to another satellite. Family son without becoming a separate Universe. No other woman has no chance, nor of the right to occupy this place in the eyes of men nearby. Unfortunately, escape is the only way for the bride to save his own family.
Disappointed expectations
Not only the daughter-in-law can expect from mother certain behaviors and attitudes, but also the mother-in-law may well nurture illusions about how you want to build a family life son.
"I have problems with mother-in-law. Before relations were wonderful, friendly. I thought how cool that my mother-in-law - such understanding and sensitive woman, attentive and caring. This while we lived in a civil marriage to two years. But as soon as he announced the wedding, there was just baiting. From the good girl I was "that girl".
Now a lot of discussion is about civil marriage is no different from the official one. Meanwhile, neither young nor Mature women often do not consider civil marriage present.
My mom doesn't like the beloved son. While its conclusion is clear - this person "we" is not suitable, so the wedding will not happen. However, as the civil wife let it be: after all, such a "marriage" is not real - it was a rehearsal. It is quite possible that no girl will be worthy to become a real wife son. Every day the mother will tell the son what myself a long time I am sure: this girl he doesn't pair. Keep an eye on her and that she would neither said nor done, be interpreted differently. And conclusions to share with my son. Man, confident in his feelings for his wife and her love, miss all deaf ears. But if a young man has doubts, then mom's conversations will fall on fertile ground and the marriage can actually disintegrate.
"The most annoying, complains sixty-year-old woman - that I invited her to his house. We along with it worked, I watched her for years and thought: wow, what a pretty girl. When my Petenka divorced, I decided that I need to meet them. Agreed, wedding modest played live they have become. Gradually, relations began to deteriorate in the kitchen will face, because the bathroom will powderin. Further more: and the son began to me to raise the voice... I Had to split the order by the court and to change a flat. Son and daughter-in-law objected, they, as it turned out, wanted, so I went to another city to daughter. Here's the tale of Ticino the wooden hut..."
Often young people unreasonably expect that the older generation will give them a last, even yourself. Infantile and largely parasitic approach. But as classic said, "the housing problem" people are pretty messed up.
Intervention in the life of a young family
At any level, for example, in household: daughter-in-law bad cooks, cleans, does not know how to iron properly arrow on the press, etc. If a young family is unable at this stage to defend their sovereignty, it will face new challenges. The family, which "domestic" of the attack, face more serious intervention and educational. Many copies breaks in battle, devoted to the education of children-grandchildren.
"We married 4 years, and hostility from the side of the mother-in-law shone around until the appearance of the daughter. Then she changed and became warm and with interest to communicate with us. I then decided that, even though I dislike her, but I don't want to deprive the daughter of the grandmother. And all was well until 8-9 months, and then She began to scream, it was worth to visit his grandmother in the apartment, to creep on me like a monkey. As it turned out later, the grandmother beat her granddaughter. My husband and opponents of the physical effects in any form. But to explain something grandmother impossible: think, slapped, don't beat up after all! Now allow communication granddaughter with grandma only in our presence. With the advent of children in the family may come a temporary truce between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Grandma is very attached to grandchildren and volunteer to look after the kids. The child can even live with my grandmother, parents. However, the mother-in-law in relation to the grandchildren sometimes tries to perform the functions of the mother. Aggressively enforces its own rules, acting on behalf of the child".
Methods of education, in General, one of the most controversial issues in sibling relationships. Especially this applies to physical punishment. On this issue, and spouses often it is difficult to agree on. To the question: "do you Beat your child? "almost 100% of cases there is a negative response. Question: "do you Punish your child physically? "it makes us think, evaluate pedagogical tactics and strategy, and gives a certain percentage of affirmative answers. To the question: "do you Spank your child sometimes for educational purposes? " - an affirmative answer is obtained in 80% of cases.
5 rules wise daughter-in-law
- Not clarify the relationship with the mother-in-law in the presence of her husband.
-During an argument does not involve the spouse in the allies - the man will not delve into your strife and, most likely, will go on the side of the woman he knows is longer than you.
- Never spoke ill of my husband's mother. Better calm down and tell me something good. Well, if not - just keep silent.
- Remember to adjust will have no mother-in-law, and you. Not necessary to prove to the man that the main woman in his life now are you. It is better to collect the will in a fist and show the art of diplomacy.
Many conflicts can be avoided if you are going to live separately from their parents. As the saying goes, "the further away, the closer".
The art to conclude a truce
How not to be embroiled in a bloody battle with mother husband? First, try getting to know her husband. Secondly, do not build illusions about the new family, and to be ready to accept new relatives for what they are. And thirdly, to prove himself an adult, independent person, able to make informed and responsible decisions on matters of any level: from the selection of the recipe of steamed vegetables for dinner to analyze the state of the real estate market.
Source:
Divnaya.com
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