For the first year. Adaptation
The first year of sexual life motto: "Adaptation". This problem occurs in the life of every pair - partners study. And how successful is this adaptation depends only on them.
As a rule, men marry at the age of 23-27 years. During this period the man is at the peak of his physical sexual forms. However, he already has enough sexual experience. Euphoria and zapalote" relationships first months of life together does not give his wife to breathe easily. In the first years of the difference in readiness to sex between partners is significant - the man needs more.
Women, mostly, before marriage do not have regular sexual relations. (The exception is for couples who have long been met and know very well each other). The woman is something to fear and what not to guess. She does not know the optimal way to orgasm. Can't tell and show your partner what to do, confused or just don't understand how to it better.
The man in this period is the initiator. He launches into orbit female sexuality, it depends on him whether my wife orgasm or headache in the morning. This helps joint experimentation with the change of positions, the nature of the affection, situation and time of day.
In the relations of the first year, in most cases, there is romance. Newlyweds always easy to determine: petting, kissing, hugging in public and in private. All of this is supposed to stimulate the quality of sex. But it is not always so. If the male partner pays pitingo too much attention, sexual desire of your partner, oddly enough, can start off. How much can be wobbly? Peting - short and slight, and again the problem is a partner in disbelief: "is that all? What was it? ". Ability to adhere to the Golden mean, time to move from foreplay to the main action on the part of men, the ability to speak, to explain and analyze your body, to be active from women - the key to the successful resolution of the problems of the first year of life together.
After two or three years. Live problem
It takes a year or two, and the woman becomes pregnant. It is, for objective reasons, begins to decline in intimate relationships. Ordinary sex often becomes impossible. In the first two months it can cause miscarriage, in the last two or premature birth. And two postnatal month sex ban gynecologists because of possible complications. And in this situation the most important thing is not to lose sexual optimism, the desire to seek and find alternative ways to meet (the same petting, oral sex). If the spouse (or spouse) is too squeezed, reserved, the sexual tension is reduced.
Another problem present in this period, associated with the change in the physical form of a woman. The difference between waist and hips (one of the main sexual stimuli) disappears. Woman complex, it becomes more passive and vulnerable. It is worth remembering that the first years, the wave of love and passion (3-5 years of marriage) man does not see disability spouses. He is still fascinated by it.
Men's passion often cools, if the pregnancy is late, too much talk about possible child or, in effect traits and circumstances, the man against the possible offspring.
After the delivery man is in a difficult position. The idol of the family in this period the child. He is God and king. Wife to be his priestess, and a man can fall out of the context of the family. This is particularly threatening to those families in which a man often move from a child ("can't cope", "drop", "man is not the case"). In this situation, even the long-awaited son or daughter becomes Pope alien object, enemy, which weakened his sexual positions and made discord in the family idyll. Against the background of such relationship, the love disappears.
If the problem is solved, you receive valuable experience that will allow the pair safely survive the second and all subsequent pregnancy. This full period adaptation is completed.
The crisis of 30 years. The end of hypersexuality
At the age of about 30 years, a man emerges from a period of hypersexuality. Sex becomes less frequent (2-3 times per week) and stereotypical. The man is already sexually savvy and will not come to orgasm long way.
Often a crisis 30 years coincides with the end of love (first 3-5 years of marriage). To the aid of his wife, which is not as attractive for your husband comes nature. At this age, as we have proven in studies, decreases the level of testosterone (male hormone). There is every reason to believe that the drop in testosterone regulates marital fidelity. This mechanism is inherited by us from the herd of animals. Until the calf is not able to take care of themselves, the male should be tied to the offspring and the female. The phenomenon has been observed experimentally. Swans, whose loyalty came in saying, was injected testosterone. As a result, faithful to this Swan looked at other females and loyalty were not observed.
The woman, on the contrary, after giving birth, dealing with emotional problems, after 30 years is in the taste. She tries to diversify sex, and the husband can only for a short emotional outbursts. Because of this, the family may experience frequent quarrels and conflicts with subsequent sexual excitement. But there are other factors that can liven up sex life and make it a variety. This is a joint trip, unusual adventures, a dramatic change of scenery.
If it is not present, family boat, as the poet said, breaks about life. Routine, no new experiences gives rise to the conflict and dissonance in sexual relations. Mature marriages break solely on such "peaceful" life.
Mature years. Boredom
Currently, pre-existing family conflicts and problems have ceased to be relevant. Children now come with great responsibility, and, if the couple decided on a child, it is usually a serious reason to be together. Sexual problems associated with fear of getting pregnant again, well-regulated modern contraception.
The only problem, which in recent years has worsened and is present in a large percentage of modern Mature families is boredom and routine, as life itself, and sexual relations. The question "How to learn to live without love and to grow old together? " is solved very successfully.
At the age of 33-35-aged man raised on high professional level. He is already something of themselves at work, respect him, stare at him young girls. He understands its significance and of the page to which you are already so accustomed to his missus, he becomes, if not master, it is.
He does not need to change, but the wife may be jealous and be wary of any possible connection.
If a woman in this period starts to complain, not understanding the new position of her husband, he may have two bursts, and the object of their will not be a wife.
So, rutin on the one hand, dissatisfaction with the state of Affairs on the other, claims and accusations - all this can lead to infidelity and even care of the family.
If the wife understands the new reality, the spouses have the time and opportunities to diversify the life, no one finds out about the betrayal, family and sexual life is calm and quiet. Then maybe 10-15 years of peaceful normal relationship built on understanding and support. Produced a system that is not peculiar to early marriages: not love, but the value of another, not passion, but respect. This new organizational and conscious living standards in the pair.
After 45. Men's role in women
At the age of 40-45 men sexually involution, she - male menopause. Man has not always ready for sexual intercourse.
A third of women after menopause sexuality increases, even a third remains unchanged. All this is because after klimaticheskih changes decreases the level of female hormones and increases the level of the male. Can break antennae, you will see some modepalast. During this period the woman is experiencing sexual hunger is much stronger. The rational behavior of this age is a kind of substitution role. A woman should show the sexuality of the partner in orbit, with her hand must occur and initiate sex.
If it saves women's passivity and monotonous sex, tries to solve the problems due to frequent partings, different leisure ("soskuchimsya and will sex") is the reverse reaction. The man finally gives up on a permanent partner and indulges in all serious.
In this case, beside him is a young partner, far more accommodating and consonant at all for successful men.
A young woman in such a relationship implements the Electra complex, the man gets a rare opportunity to educate young girl "by itself" and be offset by boiling the young blood of his own weakness.
At this age, loss of interest in marriage is very high: disease; 't want to invent something to think of; and Yes it is silly that after so many years of marriage! And there is a disaster from different beds to different rooms from different activities to separate life.
Instead of a conclusion
Problems in sexual life is always and in all people. In this article, we have given only the main concerning gender differences men and women. But there are a lot of individual: two families under one roof, different intervention by parents, different upbringing, different nationality! Problems exist in order to solve them. This school of life. That's why this article is called "the Problem of sex - it's great! " Not problems in and of themselves are good, but the ability to decide to work together, to agree, word, study, family life, work on it. Sex, as the thermometer shows that everything is okay in your relationship, comfortable if you are such a temperature. As the saying goes: "What should be done to ensure that the family has fallen apart? Nothing! And it will fall apart by itself"... Go for it!
Author:
Agarkov C.
Source:
Our psychology
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