Sonny clever Elsa
All men are nerds. Anyway, I was faced with just such. Outwardly they may be different, funny, sad, energetic or thoughtful, but the essence is the same.
During the students I had a boyfriend, whom I was called a son of smart Elsa. Remember the fairy tale of Hans Christian Andersen: there's a girl all the time represented various misfortunes that can happen in her life, and was going through them as though it has already happened. So my friend whining: in the summer it was hot and winter is cold. Everyone was watching the news on television (it was 90 years) and repeated: "What a nightmare! What a nightmare! Where do we roll? " And looking at the empty shelves, I was interrogated with passion: "You imagine what would happen in five years? Famine, pestilence, disease". It didn't occur to me that after five years, the stores will burst from the products. At some point I felt that too, saying: "What a nightmare! What a nightmare! " And decided to throw it. Can't imagine how the wife lives with him now...
Comment psychologist.
Really the woman next to such a person is not to be envied. Most likely this man refers to the constitutionally-depressive personality type. At the core of his boredom lies constant anxiety. He tells others how bad the situation is and how it will be still worse, hoping that it will dissuade, calm. But any real arguments cannot change his views and attitude towards reality. The most important thing in communication with him - not to share their pessimism. Therefore, if you associate with such a person, often remind myself that gloomy view of reality is the peculiarity of his character. And that is not always his predictions do not come true.
The bore of this type is good because it most likely will not change. As soon as man will present many dangers waiting for him on this path (you can get, to get, to be drawn into a difficult relationship), he lost every desire.
A stone wall
I married a person of a different character than my student boyfriend. He was energetic, active, and enterprising. It all just burn in his hands: broke one firm is immediately invested balances to another, everything spun-spun. He even managed to pull their money out of the financial pyramid. And I don't know how it can be combined in one person: in this temperament it all laid out on shelves. If the pan is left soup, he poured it into the jar. If there will remain at the bottom, the man will find him a smaller jar. I was recently on a business trip in Germany. Forgot to put the clock back and ran to the station at five o'clock instead of seven. Told the house about this adventure with laughter. And my hubby came into a state of violent anger: "Only with you like this to happen! You just messy! " And rushed...
Comment by psychologist. You got bored rigid-aggressive type. He's stubborn, self-centered, goal seeking in whatever it was. These people are trying to cope with raging passions within ourselves, often seek to restore order in the external life. What to you is "wisdom", "adventure" for your husband - "disorder", "recklessness". Remember Hippolytus of "Irony of fate". He accused his bride exactly the same words: "Only with you it could happen." Kantorski instructing his neighbor, people rigid-aggressive type are confident that their notation are good for him.
This is the case, when they say: "the Bore is easier to surrender than to explain that you didn't want to. The best way to communicate with him is to agree: "Yes, in me there is an element of recklessness, you're right, "of Course, this could only happen to me, because you weren't there".
Nerds of this type are motivated, they quickly rise through the ranks, achieving a high position. So for such a person it is possible to feel "like a stone wall".
Don't tell sob...
Here is another clear example of male boredom. My cousin got acquainted on the Internet with a young man from St. Petersburg. They had an intense correspondence. Then Larke went to him. Everything was perfect: the man she was happy, we were driving around the city, drove in restaurants. But... occasionally, as my cousin says, he "fell" from reality. It will grab the first newspaper and begin eagerly to read it, then rested look to any boat that is allowed on the water children, then all will go in yourself and there will be lost. Isn't it boring to get distracted by all sorts of nonsense, when you're a girl who's leaving?
Comment psychologist. Friend of your cousin, most likely an introvert is a person focused on your inner world. Such people communicating are being rapidly depleted. Especially if the person is a person is emotional, noisy. Loud laughter, talking excitedly scares him, a feeling of anxiety. Therefore, the introvert periodically it is necessary to disconnect, to withdraw, to recharge my batteries". By the way, this feature is sometimes to step back from the partner - have other men, even extroverts. Our strong floor it is necessary from time to time to make sure that the woman was enslaved by them that they have preserved freedom and its internal space. If your cousin wants to continue the relationship with your St. Petersburg acquaintances, she needs to learn not to be offended by his treatment in itself. This is not to say that he neglects it, but rather the opposite - trust. People hoped that the friend will take it, even if he won all the time to stand on tiptoe in his desire to please her, and will behave as naturally.
Marshmallows, yogurt and warm toilet
I am sure even if at the stage of courtship, the man can pretend to be easy and fun, then eventually he will turn into a bore. My friend Julia was married to a man 20 years older than themselves. Her parents were shocked: "thirty years from now you'll either have three old man." My optimistic friend replied, "but it's another when it will be! " And all showed his lean forty Maslova: he played sports, went Hiking and danced so that none of our company could not keep up with him. 20 years have passed. Maslova today will not pull out: no travel, no restaurant, no guests. Work - home, work - home, summer cottage. Julia somehow hunched, faded next to him, and now they seem to be almost the same age.
Comment psychologist. In fact, for many of us over the years, the usual way of life becomes more attractive than various travel adventures. As young children need routine and older people need predictability tomorrow. They are not boring to spend time at home to do their chores, watch TV series. If your girlfriend was the same age as her husband, she would have noticed his "boredom". But she probably still want an active life. Drama unequal age of marriage is not that someone for someone will have to care in old age, and that people are not simultaneously undergo age stages. If your girlfriend is not satisfied with life at the age of 40, as at 60, let her try to negotiate with her husband to periodically let go of the wife in the company of her peers. Usually older people are willing to go for it: "the Main thing is that I did not carry".
Ask the mirror
I'm just described in detail the types of boring men that at some point thought, and itself I do not become boring? Maybe it was worth to start: whom do we call this word? Are there any features typical nerds, no matter what his character? And how not to become such a man?
Comment psychologist: If we consider the way nerds in General, you can name three of his characteristics.
- The person is not able to highlight and distinguish it from the secondary, so he pick to detail, gets bogged down in detail, verbose refutes, or adds something that says another.
- Nerd often does not feel the appropriateness of their behavior. For example, a light, non-committal conversation begins to discuss the subject at the level of academic debate, ignoring the smile of others.
- He has a bad sense of humor. If you tell him the joke about the present crisis, he spends his life in reasoning on the economic situation of the country.
How not to be a Killjoy
- If you ask "how are you? "not allowed in a detailed story about how exactly they are.
- Do not force the interlocutor his monologue, if you feel that he's bored.
Not uwazie in detail, when you tell something. DNT ordinary conversation in a popular scientific way, if you do not ask.
- Try not to "load" the interlocutor a bad mood and gloomy Outlook on life.
- If a person is talking, do not interrupt him, let him speak.
Author:
Bolshakova L
Source:
Best4woman
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