The fear I experienced at the stage when I had to go into the city. The idea that you need to rely on themselves, lead me in horror. The reason for this fear is rooted not so much in the lack of experience, but in the absence of skill to drive a car without helpers. Unfortunately, riding with an instructor that teaches not. Thus, the student simply learns not adequately deal with their fear in difficult situations.
What to do?
If you feel so strong fear that it is not able for the first time to get behind the wheel and even pulling away from the Parking lot, ask someone familiar experienced drivers take you one or two or three times. But do not get carried away! The longer you will be next to be "insurance", the less chance to get rid of fear of self-control car. Only the driving experience alone will make you feel that nothing threatening occurs.
Departure for the town is a real stress for the young driver. I remember after the first time, I felt a real shock. Was afraid of all of oncoming cars, the vehicles moving on the adjacent lane, pedestrian quickly crosses the Zebra, people just standing at the curb... it seemed to Me that I must touch another vehicle to crash into moving towards me and knocking down a pedestrian, calmly walking the road for 50 meters from me. Her husband, a driver with 20 years of experience, sedea eyes, pleaded Not proimise to "Mazda"! ", "Not haruhisa on "incoming" traffic! After the first trip I pulled on the wheel is reduced from the voltage fingers barely reached the house on the legs give way, twice saw Valerian. Having calmed down, I began to understand where roots have my fears.
First, I had no car itself, neither its size nor speed and, accordingly, did not feel that I control the machine. It seemed to me that the machine is a separate being with a mind of its own, which turn me in the right direction on their own will fail. Hence the panic, stress, anxiety. And when the level of the alarm is automatically broken the productivity of thinking, the brain as if turned off, and to make appropriate decisions is very difficult. So all I did was listen to the voice of her husband and herself with a stressful situation could not cope, and therefore never learned to drive alone.
The authors I have read publications advised first of all to learn to feel the car. I went early in the morning on the highway. I tried to relax, take a comfortable position. To do this, you need to lean back against the chair, and the hand lying on the steering wheel, there should be only slightly bent at the elbow. This position does not cause voltage, the hand does not get tired. The road was almost deserted, and threats in the form of pedestrians and oncoming traffic until it was. I, but remained quite still and stopped accelerating and applying the brakes, trying to memorize the feeling of speed and tracking the braking distance. Unfolded, stopped again, but remained quite still. Gradually the track became more and more lively, but the machine wasn't frightened me. I felt that, following in his band, I disturb nobody, nobody touches that I will have time to slow down. In psychology, this form of therapy is called "flotation" or "flood", and is typically used in behavioral therapy, when frightening stimuli are gradually increasing in number or close to the client, and he is in a relaxed, unstressed condition. Over time, a large number of frightening stimuli or their presence in the immediate vicinity does not cause fear and tension.
From the highway into the city every time I drove more confident. The number of cars, of course, was still a concern, but not drove in a stupor. I remember the main rule of the young motorist: "Sure - go. Not sure, pull over". Remember that while you think your car rides! So instead of frantically to figure out how I was going to rebuild, and to interfere with the strange trajectory of other drivers, I started to slow down, passing other cars. Of course, I allowed myself to overtake, but I had the time to calmly make a decision. Pedestrians, contrary to my expectations, was reasonable people: not caught under the wheels, and safely crossed the roadway. And the drivers neighboring cars don't honk when I was down, and was just ahead. The sign "70" in most cases causes a feeling of indulgence from motorists.
One among fears
But there were still a few lingering fears. The key is the fear of meeting with the inspector of traffic police and the fear of damaging the machine as their own, and others'. I was well aware that the accident no one is immune, even the most experienced driver. I knew that sooner or later I stopped by the traffic police for the sake of verification of documents. And somehow scary pictures with terrible accidents my imagination is not painted, but scratched the paint, dented bumper, and, Oh horror, furious driver of another car I imagined very vividly. It seemed to me, if the inspector suddenly brandish my nose with his magic striped wand, I'm confused, I can not in time to slow down, "nicely" to stop at the curb and, God forbid, giving him a leg. To cope with these fears helped me a simple exercise, taken by me from the Arsenal of the same behavioral therapy. My husband played the role of the angry driver, road inspector, and I culprits accident. We lost a conflict situation, I learned to speak and behave so as not to provoke the aggression of the opponent, in this case felt relatively safe (husband still), and not connected with unnecessary negative emotions. In fact, I had to bring their behavior in such a conflict to automaticity, thus after each offensive phrase I kept repeating to myself: "It's just words, they are safe, I'm an adult and can respond". Often a beginner on the road really feels in a situation like a small child before the angry or punishing adults. To respond adequately, without feeling lost and fear, you need to begin to "grow", that is, to feel in the truest sense of the word size of your body, feel how firmly standing on his feet, to realize that you're the same adult. Then the behavior will be calm and confident.
I passed your driving fears and quite confidently drive the car. But to me with the problem of fear behind the wheel sounds like it is much longer than me, the driving experience of the car. The main causes of these problems in my practice were the following: accident, after which the client could not get behind the wheel; pregnancy, when the mother was terrified to drive the car; panic attacks that occur in an unfamiliar city. With each of these problems has managed quite successfully to work.
How to survive a car accident
So, there was a major accident. Newcomer, faced with a similar situation, can completely lose all confidence in himself. As a rule, it is constantly haunted by the thought: "I did something wrong" and "I will never learn". In such a situation it is necessary to understand, preferably with an experienced driver that young driver did wrong. As a rule, it turns out that he just got confused or didn't notice the other car. In the first case, guilty fear in an extreme situation, which blocked the mental activity and not allowed to calmly decide. In most cases, as I wrote above, it was enough to slow down slightly in order to decide what to do. In the second case - the loss of vigilance. Remember that driving is a job that requires constant focus. To hold the attention for a long time is not easy, but much easier when you are calm. In vain many people think that if they are strained and attention they better. Nothing like. In the stress state of the person is quickly exhausted, and with it, and the brain, respectively, and attention. Understand what the driver did wrong, you need to work with "never learn". For this quite a few times to work out a similar situation. Involved in an accident at the crossroads? Instead of avoided crossings, as it is starting to make those who have suffered at the crossroads, try as often as possible to cross them, taking into account the mistakes that you've made. Let a couple of times you will accompany a more experienced friend, who will tell you how to operate the machine in this situation. Only exercise will relieve anxiety.
Worse, when in a car accident gets experienced driver. Very often such a situation catches him by surprise, even more difficult, if it is compounded by the casualties. Own pain or suffering of another is firmly fixed in the minds of negative experiences with driving. It takes a month, two, year, and the driver did not dare to sit behind the wheel. In this case, it is important to understand that the person in the situation of a car accident, still have not experienced it. Clients often talking about the disaster, every time reproduce it in his heart again, immersed in negative feelings, cry, shiver. This is an indication that the person is still "inside" of the situation, and not "out" her. It is very important in this case to sharpen all the negative emotions, to complete the situation, to bring to consciousness the fact that it was all over, and the man himself alive, and to help him "get out" of terrible pictures. Only when people will begin to remember the car accident as an observer from the outside, without joining in it emotionally, you can work with that he sat behind the wheel. To do this in most cases can and should psychotherapist, but often drivers are intuitively trying to properly survive the incident. Better when they often say about a car accident with your family, describe the situation, your feelings, and not withdraw into themselves and not "try to forget". Speech, relieves anxiety and fear, freeing man.
Panic attacks
The unknown scares itself. So often, even experienced drivers feel in an unfamiliar town discomfort. For some it may reach the level of panic attacks. One of my patients quite a long time drove the car and felt behind the wheel quite confidently. One day she had to go to visit a friend in another city, in addition, it was necessary to find the address of the familiar. First she slowly rode through the city, because it was necessary to carefully study the road signs on unfamiliar streets. But soon it was dark, the streets were deserted, and the woman came to a dead end. Here it felt real panic. Sobbing, she tried to explain to her friend on the phone, where is. In the end I was like well, a friend was able to find it. However, panic is firmly entrenched. The woman could not bring myself to leave not only his native city, and just a familiar area. To cope with her condition was by playing the incident and gradual "delete" from the familiar area. At first she pulled away from the known location at 25 yards, then 50, then a quarter, and each time we stated that nothing terrible has happened and she is good. In this case the role of the therapist may perform someone close or a driving instructor.
It is much harder to cope with fear of the future mother. Pregnant women very easily arise anxiety, quickly reaching almost to panic attacks. But on the other hand, the mothers rather unusualy that makes handling. Very well run method render. A woman sits behind the wheel, relax, and before you touch with a vengeance, she is given the following unit (or a pregnant woman can visualize this image): "In a relaxed state you have to imagine that the mother by the power of your love "builds" around the belly durable solid frame, armor, something like a huge walnut shell. The stomach is protected from all sides, this sturdy frame. This frame is so strong that the baby is well protected from the outside world, from any exposure. The kid is calm and well. All that makes it a loving mother, she does only to bring baby favor. She sits behind the wheel, that the kid was softer and easier to move with mom. She is calm, confident and attentive". Typically, these autogenic training soothe the woman, allow you to feel yourself driving more confidently.
As we can see, at desire it is possible to work effectively with almost any driving fear. Important is the desire to drive, and you will definitely succeed.
Author:
Navrotsky N.
Source:
Our psychology
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