Two or three baby often painful refers to the fact that someone takes his toy. He or loud protests or cries, runs away, hides. Parents this is alarming: the baby is growing the most "greedy". Actually, everything looks a bit different. Three - year-old child is always egocentric, so he arranged. The center of his world - he is, and everything it perceives as its own continuation: this is a natural way of mental development of the individual in this age. Therefore, for two-year-old kid to give another boy favorite car is the same as to give a part of himself. Of course, that insistence mother to give the toy sounds for him is unclear, and even insulting, maybe mom likes this other boy?. Subsequent reaction depends on the temperament of your baby is either a loud cry of protest, or a quiet, but determined, "I will Not! ". And it is not necessary at this moment to scold the child or to call him greedy, educational effect you will not reach, and will likely make matters worse. The kid is upset, alarmed, he feels that he has become "bad", but why can't. But also another child, who reached for the toy, too, should not scold or chase: because he's just the same, similarly sees the world, and it seems quite natural that he has a right to this machine, which he so liked a.
What to do to defuse the situation? It is best to immediately divert the children's attention, to switch it to something tempting - for example, to start building something or watch something or someone interesting. In the process of joint action, it is likely that your child calmly react to what the other kid for a while, picked up a coveted machine, and he may even let you hold another this ill-fated toy, and the incident will be exhausted. In this case, on the way home don't forget to praise your son for what he is able to share with others, tell them that you were pleased with his kindness and generosity. The first shoots of this kindness and generosity useful to consolidate, telling any suitable tale about how bad it is to be greedy and as well to share.
But what if the conflict could not be avoided and it all came down to the tears and the cries of two babies? Best under the specious pretext to leave, taking his inconsolable child in his arms, for example, to say that you have to go home. To perform this operation it is necessary in a calm tone, without its own cry, and moreover without the slaps. As for the future just in case, In fact, an expensive toy will make you prove to her vigilance and attention, and the child may understand it differently, and it is already difficult to be generous.
Needless to say, that we all know examples of how greed develops in the child under the influence of their own family, its foundations, its system of values. It happens often that this trait appears when the egocentric type of education, when the baby becomes a family idol, "the meaning of life". This occurs most often in families with a long-awaited, only child. Of course, parents do not consciously try to instill in him the habit of greedy, but gradually this type of behavior still appears and is fixed.
All told, however, does not mean that the child doesn't have to relate to the things or toys as personal property, this is another undesirable extreme, which further hurt to develop such traits as thrift, and, ultimately, responsibility. Agree, the manifestation of the responsibility for the condition obtained when the gift fluffy toy puppy - not a bad trait.
To determine how well the baby belongs to own things, should make this psychological exercise.
Tell the boy the tale of how one boy built from sand and anything else beautiful house in which I could play. He built it himself and was very proud of. The house very much and his mother, and she asked the boy to give it to her. "What do you think, ask your child - what will make this boy: leave the house yourself or give his mother? " The answer will likely be: "a Little play and then will give". Or: "will Divide it in half with my mother", or: "Give the house to my mother, but I would ask that she sometimes gave him back to play...". But there may be other answers: "No, I will not give, leave for yourself, because the house is very beautiful"; "we won't give it to never, and will himself to live in it"; "I'll Play, and then break the house". These answers should alert you. Here it is necessary to think and to understand, what is it. Maybe this is a manifestation of the rudiments of greed, or maybe your kid just little toys? And no need to do something to rectify the situation, even if there is no money, something to sew, to update, alter, repair? And thereby to make it clear to the child that he is not only the owner of this property, but - in answer for it.
Note that the exercise, which was discussed, is intended for two-three years, at least for four-year-olds. Older children can give no such straightforward answers, and, for example, to offer to exchange beautiful house for something long-desired - why not? But this will be a manifestation of a very different character traits.
In conclusion, we emphasize again that greed is not a natural quality. This feature is brought up wrong behavior of adults, and if it is by mistake or intentionally, they will not be fixed.
Author:
E. Shcherbakov, psychologist
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