At first glance it may seem that it's just a lack of organization. Relatives, friends and colleagues accuse such a person indifferent in relation to the demands of real life and not trust him important things. But if you look closely, distraction can hide psychological reasons.
Forget extra
Many people from time to time forget or lose things. And this is not surprising, because forgetting is a natural mental process. "Our consciousness is constantly affected by the powerful flow of information, and because of the threat of oversaturation, it leaves a multitude of facts without attention, " explains the French psychoanalyst, the Gerard Pommier. "so most habitual actions we commit automatically drop the keys in his pocket, put the mobile phone in your bag and even not aware of this report. And yet some of us loses and forgets their things more than others.
Unconscious messages
"My husband and I couldn't agree where to go on vacation. I wanted the sea, and the man in the mountain. In the end I gave up, but the trip was almost canceled the day before departure I lost the plane tickets," says 32-year-old Anna. "Often lost thing can be seen as a symptom that reveals some of our problem, internal conflict, " explains psychoanalytic psychotherapist Tatiana Drabkina. - This thing is most likely associated with that area of life (work, home, relationships with people, where we feel insecure, where us something very disturbing, not satisfied. For example, losing tickets, Anna unconsciously tried to tell my husband that the upcoming trip, it is not satisfied that her needs are not taken into account. We often forget or lose your belongings in a stressful situation or when absorbed the fact that we care about. But as soon as we begin to realize that we are concerned, confusion takes place.
The denial of responsibility
"At work I was constantly losing all sorts of things: the keys to the Cabinet or box, leave the house, the notebook, business accounts cannot be found, then the purse in the dining room will forget. At first I treated it with irony, considered a distraction and his lovely feature, laughingly told about it to colleagues and friends. But at some point noticed that I seem not to be taken seriously: work on an interesting project gave a colleague, a friend once said that couldn't give me even an hour of your child. And then I realized: my distraction, all these losses and forgetting - the unwillingness to take responsibility for their lives, fear of any obligations, " says 29-year-old Victoria. - Realizing this, I became more pedantic man, and now my things with me. In addition, attitude toward me colleagues and friends have changed for the better".
What to do?
Make friends with things
. A simple way to become more attentive to things to invest their emotions. Buy funny keychain, beautiful purse. With things that we like, we tend to go more carefully.
To take responsibility. Thinking that we lose things because of accidental circumstances ("I was angry at work"), we put the responsibility on them and in no way can the situation be affected. It is important to remember that the reason our distractions - in ourselves and the lost thing can symbolize some of our problem.
Ask yourself. It is useful to ask yourself: "If the loss meant something, what? " Listen to your emotions: somewhere on the periphery of irritation or confusion you may find relief. This experience can lead you to the right answer. From what cargo you wanted to get rid of? What is bothering you? You may internally reject this part of your life, or, on the contrary, the value of it for you is so great that it causes anxiety, with which you cannot cope.
Tips outsider
Don't blame a loved one, tend to lose their belongings, but do not treat him leniently. On the one hand, the more often you participate in the search for things, the more you will be treated with a similar request. On the other hand, your loved one may in this way to let you know that feeling confused, lonely. If you move away, then, in fact, does not respond to the SOS signal, which, albeit unconsciously, can afford. Show insight and try to understand what was happening to him, what he cannot tell you directly. And then not respond to the symptom and the cause.
Source:
Psychology life
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