Four errors conflicting parties

Without having to not to conflict, it does not manage the life of a single person. Neither personal nor professional, nor family.


Conflicts often really lead to positive changes and evolutionary changes are forcing people to work on themselves and on the world.




Unfortunately, not less often conflicts lead to stalemate and production processes.




And all because we assume all four very serious error.




The first error: as the victim.





Often in conflict the most intelligent of us take the position of the noble victim, saying that the moral principles of the enemy cause, of course, the big question, and I will never stoop to his level, well, let offends me and humiliates, I'm above it all. Even not going to listen to this nonsense.





In such a "position" to the victim, unfortunately, it is difficult to understand that his opponent actually wants a fair resolution of the conflict - it seems that all just want to hurt her. To come to a common opinion in this situation is practically impossible.






What to do: to understand that claims your partner not affect you personally (even if you thought so), and of the opinion that you expressed. And the person goes with you to the conflict only because he wanted peace in the end. What world and what price?



Now that should be easy to understand.






The second error: in another's eye.



In almost every conflict we do see FCM slap-Bang on the proverb: in another's eye a straw notice, and its not visible and logs. In other words, in their position, we see only advantages, and in another - only disadvantages. During the dispute, incensed and losing control of himself, we are not just do not see, can see that our position has disadvantages, and in another - and dignity.






What to do: take yourself in hand (often this requires a pause in the conversation and to understand that any opinion priori there are advantages and disadvantages. Take two clean sheet and sign on the "pluses" and "mimusica" both points of view.



Now you are ready to constructively interfere.






The third error: I can, but you are not.



Even when we realize that both I and the opponent have the same methods, we believe their behavior is permissible, and it is invalid.




Then a dispute discuss your particular situation segues into a discussion of worthiness-of unworthiness methods of dispute. Roughly speaking, in the final sound sacramental "the fool".






What to do: ideally not afford unworthy attacks against the enemy (with hand on heart, we all know which of them are not worthy).



Well, in life, when the hand on heart to believe we need to take a break, to cope with emotions and begin to investigate the conflict first.






Error four: all I see.



When one of the parties realizes that the arguments in conflict dispute ended, often triggered scenario "all I see".





The conflict situation is overly simplified, is placed in one exaggerated phrase and speaks in a face startled him.





It seems that he just spoke about it much, but utrirovanno as it looks, to put it mildly, ridiculous. The conflict comes to a standstill, like a tiger about to leap - because when your opponent will uncover the deception, he will be beside himself with rage.






What to do: if it came to "everything is clear with you" - you can be sure you're both ill remember what started the conflict. In dispute you have deviated from the topic switched to the person and say it is absolutely about other things.



So laugh at yourself, invite to laugh opponent and... go back to the beginning of the dispute, because the main rule of any conflict - he must be exhausted.

Source:

Belarusian women's portal

women's web magazine