Parents of teenagers live in constant fear and constant hope. They hope that the child is surrounded by temptations, by some unknown and a happy instinct simply and clearly say, "No! ". No drugs! No pornography! There is no all-bad-dangerous-traumatic-pieces!
Parents imagine what an obscene offer will come from suspicious-looking adult with shifty eyes or some of malchish-bad boy. But all the trouble is that "no" you need to learn to speak best friends, which shoulders view of a teenager prop up the sky. And so little to say to him "Just say no".
Most of the social practices that should teach the adolescent to refuse at the right time, calculated on the mindset of an adult. And this is their weakness. The girl who was called into the back seat of the car, and the boy, who is asked to write the test, can not control their emotions.
Parents also underestimate the pressure, which may be subjected to child. So to say "no" is so hard. Here are 7 strategies of denial, which you should teach your child.
Strategy 1: Teach your teen to think primarily about himself
Teenagers usually are aware of yourself more as part of a group than an individual. You should explain to the child that, he proved himself as an independent person, he will get rid of a lot of trouble. For example, at a party, where all rather drunk friend who encourages you to join, you can answer: "I feel uncomfortable here and go home, but I'll understand if you want to stay." The out of unpleasant situations found no damage to the friendship.
Strategy 2: Teach him to weigh all the "pros" and "cons"
The teenager constantly bombarded various proposals. All you need to do to understand "Yes" or "no", just to weigh all the "pros" and "cons". For example, what good it will get, if you give write off control (a little, at best, a short - term ephemeral gratitude), and that bad (it can catch, to suspect that he had copied it, put a bad grade and to condemn the abuse of parents).
Strategy 3: Teach him to blame the parents
Children, who can say "No, mom, I'll never forgive you", to deny much easier. So they had reason to say so, you have to constantly explain to them what are the rules and what will follow their violation. For example: "If I find out that you smoked, will be a month devoid of all walks and parties".
Strategy 4:
Teach him to refuse to humor
Explaining the failure of fear, the teenager will irritate others. However, drawing the denial of a joke, he will make the right choice, left the king position.
Strategy 5: Teach him to speak on his behalf
What more confident teenager, so it is easier to speak his mind and not succumb to the pressure of others. So give your child as many opportunities as possible in order to declare themselves to speak on their own behalf. Even in the most simple situations, for example, he makes the order in the café.
Strategy 6: Teach him how to use body language
If the teenager holds his head high and hides his eyes, any answer will seem much more compelling. Try to draw the child's attention on people who look more confident, and to analyze their behavior and demeanor.
Strategy 7: Teach him to repeat "no" as much as needed
Explain to your child that if he refuses, and he repeated the offer, he has every right to repeat your answer as many times as you need so that your caller from behind him. The more times he will say "no", the sharper will be his realization of the correctness of this choice.
Moms, learn to say "no"!
However, thinking about how to teach your child the art of failure, do not forget that and you it not hurt. Your example will be very useful.
Source:
Women's information and entertainment portal WDay.ru
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