Movies - the perfect material for the knowledge of people. Not everyone, of course: disaster movies and the fighters look in the same breath, however, about the intricacies of the spiritual life of man in them it is not.
Favorite movies
One day at the station provincial town stops the train and the platform remains a beauty by the name of Mona (Anastasia Vertinskaya) - without a ticket, money, documents. Teacher of astronomy in the local school Marin Mira (Igor Kostolevsky) invites her to him, offers to spend the night, and he's going to go to the other. In the house at Marina astronomer trust a new friend his main secret: he discovered a new star. Mona may not feel the importance of scientific discoveries, but it has a deep sense of awe at this strange man, the like of which she had not met with "secular" parties. At the end of the movie Mona takes people, which it is kept. This is the key storyline of the film "Nameless star" (dir. M. Kazakov, 1978), to the characters that we will be back soon.
Life in the city of Zhdanov (Mariupol) - boring and dull. To young people can have fun at the disco, where dances regularly pass into fights. At the disco Faith (Natalia Negoda) meets with Sergei (Andrey Sokolov). Without much ceremony he invites her to go to his Dorm. After the rough refusal - to-order - Faith agrees. We will only be interested in the meeting of the characters in the movie "Little Faith" (dir. Century Pichul, 1988).
The main hero of the film "I loved you..." (dir. Ilya Frieze, 1967) the tenth Kohl Golikov (Victor Passes off after dancing his first love, a student choreographic school Nadya Naumchenko (Violetta, Chocolove). Shy and insecure guy can not decide to shorten the distance (literally and figuratively) between him and the girl. When he has to overcome his shyness, puts on the mask of the hero-macho, it looks ridiculous. Communicating with Nadia, nick speaks inappropriately, boring sets her unnecessary questions. In the end, the girl is offended and permanently end the relationship.
Early in the morning in the café Joe black (brad pitt) notices a beautiful girl Susan Parrish (Claire Forlani). He spoke to her, and he could easily have her to himself. Later in the movie "Meet Joe black" (dir. Martin Brest, 1998) occur mystical collisions, but they do not interest us.
Four tunes
So, we have four story, four contacts and four love. But totally different! The characters talk to each other very differently in accordance with their character types.
Sintony Joe black, communicating with Susan Parrish, open and free. His movements relaxed, facial expressions full of life. We will not see it arrogance, snobbery and conceit. He is very comfortable right from the first minutes of acquaintance. He is not afraid to trust the stranger and tells something about yourself. He does not hesitate to question her, but softens them smile, gestures and intonation. The girl turns out to be the center of his universe, he is fully included in the interaction with her and does not hide his pleasure. Here is the result: closed at first, she thaws out, "wall" between them disappears.
Psychasthenic Kohl Golikov feels not so confident. Figuratively speaking, the way to a girl whom he falls in love, it seems like a minefield. Before you go to the dance, he "reincarnated" in Superman, wearing dark glasses, taking the cigarette lighter and put on a mask of arrogant men - classic attempt hypercompetitive. Seeing the girl, he kept at a distance, so all opposite pairs pass between them. Alone with Nadia, he's quite shy and makes mistakes: reports about his two falls out of contact, turning his back on her, and very fatal mistake he makes, when he says random guy: "We'll deal, without feeling that she is not ready for this "we". Immediately after that, she runs away and then another long tormenting the poor guy.
Timidity in dealing with the unknown woman Sergey - the man with the organic type of character. With a steady motion he takes Vera's face, turns to him and offers to go to his Dorm. In response to "indignant cry, but she did...
This style of communication even in a nightmare not dream about soft romantic schizoid Marina Mira. For him Mona - unearthly adorable. Marine lives, immersed in his world and all other people live separately, as if behind glass. Their lives are interesting to him, but he stays with them formally, politely. He, of course, alone and afraid to let people into your soul, because actually, it is very important, as its appeal to others. At some point, Marin felt able to trust this subtly beautiful unknown woman, " and he was transfigured: became excited, enthusiastic, energetic, remaining, of course, intelligent and courteous.
So different love
Now we can leave our heroes, to say something about the love of people of different types of characters (1).
In the well known test men and women are asked to draw their relationship in the form of two circles. In most cases, the women draw the circles so that they have a significant intersection, and men draw circles with a smaller total area. Unlike most woman schizoid nature takes its own stand-alone personal space. Also it is important to see from their partner, and sincere interest in her inner world, her "otherness". However, the largest challenge for men is that schizoid woman just wants to care for her the way she likes it (this is common to women and other characters), but it never tells you exactly how. But for every mismatch it will punish, showing his displeasure, showing cooling, increasing the distance. And to avoid a mismatch is almost impossible, because the path to the heart of a woman far "not straight" (as opposed to members of other characters, especially organic). About this feature is important to know both sides, but to ask I would like first of all to the women in the relationship need to help each other, not to play the guessing and coy.
Men and women psihasteniceskie character looking deeply consonant with man. This is because, on the one hand, psychasthenia afraid of loneliness, and on the other, he is afraid that his strength is not enough for the hard work of building relationships. If the joint life of people sitenovo and epileptoid character can last for many years on the basis of sexual harmony, psychasthenic sex little for a lasting marriage. The important thing for psychasthenia a special closeness with your partner. Here are its main components, formulated in the form of declarations:
"It's easier for me to live in the consciousness of the fact that there is a man like you";
"I am happy that you are happy";
"I can trust you and relax";
"We don't appreciate each other and manipulate each other";
"I want not only to live near you, I am interested in your personal growth, development, and implementation;
"To me, you irreplaceable".
The key to success with women for men sitenovo character is the leadership role they have taken gently, gradually, as if "on trial": "so do you like? But I already can? " If the answer is women - verbal, or, more likely, severally - negative, then sintony man, or makes a step back, or if he feels that he already likes, does not pay attention to the resistance of women, but not rude or demonstration of power (this is about other types of characters), and wanting to please her with his strength. Sintony man generous with compliments and other favors, which the lady in his company feels like a woman. It also shows that no one else for him at this moment does not exist. Finally, he has no shame and clamps makes it clear that he wants this woman sexual relations, and, thanks to its naturalness she also does not occur shyness.
If you do not know the features of the character types people, many situations, actions, emotional reactions remain unclear.
We have a lot of time spent on the study subjects are not necessary for a meaningful and happy life, instead of thoroughly understand the diversity of human worlds. It is the study of the science of the characters better suited inscribed on the temple of Apollo at Delphi eternal true appeal: "Know thyself".
Books
(1) Volkov, P. C., Psychological practitioner. Guidelines for prevention of mental disorders. Publishing house "reepol classic", 2004,
(2) Rapidly M. E., About the nature of people (psychotherapy book). M., Academic prospectus 2005
Author:
Sabshin And.
Source:
Our Psychology
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