Sunday, April 27, 2014

Attempt No. 2 or whether to return the former


Attempt No. 2 or whether to return the formerAs it happens, death resolidifies or not a little upset, and then parted with his girlfriend or friend, we think it's forever. But after a day (week, month) and we're getting bored, sad and mourn his fate. It seems to us that all current failures and mistakes associated with the loss of a loved one, like a guardian angel protect us from life's storms. However, we completely forget, of course, what actually happened is a key difference, and without hesitation, headlong (not afraid of the word), rush back to start all over again.


Imagine the ubiquitous statistics say that many who finds the strength to return to, it would seem, a former friend in a broad sense, are understood, accepted, and their relationship come to a long and lasting agreement. However, before returning to his ex-friend or ex-girlfriend, you need to carefully ponder at leisure and seriously weigh all the "pros" and "cons". Let's weigh together.




First of all, you should find the answer to this straightforward question: what caused the break - your relationship or just unfortunate circumstances? If you think that is to blame circumstances, then you obviously did not yet lost. On the contrary, temporary difficulties as they overcome can enhance feelings and mutual affection. Sometimes people parting even a year or two (before leaving to study, for example) and not being able thus worthy to say goodbye and promise each other to write, call and t. d.nevertheless remain his true love (even though other Hobbies). Then when the long-awaited meeting, they feel more attraction, more happiness than was observed before "separation". Another thing, if the cause of the break a couple lies in themselves (for example, one believes that intellectually inferior to another, feels antipathy to his relatives or friends, or simply does not approve of professional activity of the partner). Then everything is much harder. In this case, before re-converge, it is very important to determine for itself what in your perception iznyvala inadequately, your values or your tastes.




As for the value, it is the lifestyle to which you aspire, the view on which you are going to build your future, your career ambitions and t. d. Another thing, if you don't match the tastes. This is much easier - if you like, for example, Armengasaryan and "the rite of Spring" by Stravinsky, and your friend Antonio Banderas and rock Opera Lloyd Webber's "Evita", it can survive. Over time, the flavors will begin to match, and will not be the same, and God is with them. Another thing - the inadequacy of life views. Think about it: if you abandoned your passion did not miss a chance to in your absence (or presence) to flirt with a friend, and then get him to bed, does it make sense to return it, dooming themselves to new long torment. Know that, resuming relations, you will advance to deal with the fact that your partner you were not satisfied and before the quarrel. Otherwise just does not happen. so in such cases to hurry should not. Well, if it comes only discrepancy in taste, go for it, if so can't wait.




So, let's assume you decided on the second attempt. Note that at least one of the two at the same time necessarily have to lower the level of their requests, i.e. to lower the bar. However, even with all the willingness to go for it, you should not resume relations without pre nice conversation with a serious, but nevertheless the discussion that led to your break. If this conversation does not take place, psychologists warn that your relationship will be an exact repetition of the past. And that no one would not like. So, very quietly, without unnecessary emotions, you need to discuss all your problems and disagreements, until you feel that none of them is fraught with resentment or a grudge against the other.




But that's not all. These efforts on your part will be required, as it turns out, when you're back together. And they will need to send your relationships while avoiding the previous errors, in a new way, a better way, which would not have led again to a Grand or chamber ending of your relationship. Absolutely should not be made a subject of discussion question, who threw (cast party, by the way, in most cases, is thus more advantageous position), or, say, do not talk to each other about what can happen if you again quarrel. Better not to think about how, for whom and why you broke up and that you have shared, because it is "common" and made you to be together again.




Another one you should think before you prick back your skis, your personal situation at this period of time. Statistics again shows that the more successful go of your business and more independent than you feel in life, garantirovanno success in the planned the event you. Think for yourself: you bad luck, you don't pay attention, you tormented by thoughts about abandoned you (or you quit the other), and generally a bummer you all soundly. Maybe this situation you in no way ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend beckons, and that your Excellency Loneliness wants to unwind? That is why such condition should not make shots in the past. You just need someone who will understand you and will regret it. And this person is more likely to become someone else, and not your ex boyfriend, which has not happened. Undoubtedly, the more chances of someone successfully. In this case, there is a choice: if you prefer the rest of your old love, your action objective, and that the only person you need.




And the last question that you should answer before you dial the coveted phone number: do you only theoretically to prove to myself that is able to return to his former passion? Not whether pure selfishness and vanity, if not for the fact that pohvastatsya to friends or to satisfy their own curiosity you are going to rake up the past? If they understand that it is so, don't count on a long extension of your novel - it will not. If your thoughts are pure, you are a successful and confident in his love - try! And know that the second time parting will be much less painful than the first...






Source:

TvoiSex.ru
















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