Saturday, April 26, 2014

Sex and shame: how to reconcile?


Sex and shame: how to reconcile? In order to have sex, you need to get rid of clothes. At least partially. For some nudity is a natural state. For others it is a real stress. Just the thought that you will need to undress (no matter in what situation) introduces such people in the state, or panic, or a light suspended animation. Obviously, sex is affected by extremely poor. How to reconcile nudity, shyness and sex.


First of all, you need to understand why people are so sensitive about nudity. Likely sources of such intricate relationship with your body is found in the childhood.





From childhood


Perhaps the reason of excessive strictness of parents, grandparents and educators in the kindergarten. In order to prevent the interest of Chad to the sphere of sexual life, and thereby to protect it (and, first of all, yourself from unnecessary issues that they emphatically told the child dislike of the sexual organ and everything connected with them. Surely, you remember how in kindergarten Tutors and nurses were not allowed to hold hands under the blanket during SANASA and severely punish those who were caught in the study of their primary sexual characteristics.




Considered (and is still) that Masturbation is bad, unacceptable, and generally death. So for disobedience should be punished especially severely, and, worst of all, in public. Child survivors of such stress - public scorn and humiliation in front of peers - ready for the rest of your life to forget that he is below the belt.




Plus he is faced with the ban ("you can't touch yourself there! "One cannot walk around the room naked! "), coming from an adult, competent person - parent or teacher - which he is unable to argue. Therefore, the suggested installation deeply grows in consciousness, and for 19 years man cannot explain why he is so afraid of the naked body, and, as a consequence, the topic of sex.




Chances are that even at the Mature age of such person would be ashamed to undress at the doctor's locker room (for example, in the pool) and even at home - the contemplation of his naked body delivers discomfort - fear of being caught, mocked and attacked. Of course, all of this happens unconsciously (unlikely person thinks that a doctor or fellow pool will laugh at him) - that work for him do instilled since childhood fears and complexes).




The troublemakers




Another reason is that experienced humiliation. Children, as you know, the most cruel beings in the world: if they chose someone to hunt, they will certainly succeed. The reason for the poor could be physiological changes that began early (formation of the chest, the appearance of the hair). Baby it's a shame called, indicating to him that his body is different from other so - called "normal" - and he got complex for a lifetime regarding your own physical imperfections.




Causation




In order to improve its relations with nudity, it is very important to understand the reasons for this attitude to his body. It is important to remember at what point you feel uncomfortable, describing the details and look at the situation for adults, today's look. Is it so terrible and irreparable everything was in that moment? Maybe not you were to blame, and the people who were around you at the moment adult, you cursed, or peers, who laughed. When you restore the entire history of the relationship with your body, nudity will no longer seem so daunting. Of course, you don't go here on a nudist beach, but, rather, to look at yourself in the mirror will start otherwise.




If you really encounter this problem, use our tips. I hope they will help you to get along with their own nakedness.





Sleep without clothes. Feel your naked body. To do this, try to sleep naked. Now summer, so there will be more than functional. On the one hand, being without clothes will bring you pleasant sensations the body is relaxed, there's nothing to compress. The other - do not be afraid. In the end, you are still under the blanket, and no you will not see.


It don't hurt yourself

. If you prefer to have sex in the dark - keep it up. But explain to your partner why you do that. This talk will be given to you is not easy, but it will largely help you and your partner understand each other. The man will be more attentive to your wishes (for example, will not stick to you in broad daylight), and you will cease to live alone with your problem.



Review your closet. Perhaps shyness forced you to dress very moderately: long skirts, jeans, turtlenecks and only low heel. Try to wear something less serious, for example, a skirt shorter. Immediately go to the dance floor, maybe not need, but to go in this form, for example, in a store makes sense.


Light help!

If your partner insists on having sex was in the light and only in the light, do not panic. Almost any light (unless it's noon, and you are not in the forest) can be turned in their favor.






Source:

Wday
















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