Little kids are so close in bodily manifestations: to run with bare ass in the apartment or to sit on the potty in the middle of the living room for them naturally. But sooner or later the parents have to drive them out of "Paradise" and to explain some of the rules associated with cultural and religious traditions adopted in the family. How to find the balance between normal, without hypocrisy, modesty and a certain freedom with respect to the body?
Shame adapted to the cultural context of one society are easier to open the body, others are not. We are not the same. There are families where nudity is not a problem and absolutely natural. Attitude to nudity may vary within the same family. The question of bodily proximity and distance between parents and children is very thin and the individual, although, of course, there are rules that are suitable for all.
To understand the boundaries
Modesty is formed gradually, under the influence of family and social rules. It is some distance, which is installed in a natural way. It is formed in the process of caring for a child from the first days of his life. This distance, marking the boundaries of the physical body and separates it from the other, is protective in nature.
It is very important to respect these boundaries, such as not to change the children's diapers on the people and to avoid situations in which the child may feel embarrassed. Sensitivity need to be even on the level of opinion. You should not consider child too closely: he may feel uncomfortable, embarrassed or even afraid.
Your choice
Modesty, designed to protect from other intimate part of our lives, is also valuable because it teaches relationships in society. "I have no right to walk the streets naked, so why should I do this at home? says She, the mother of three sons - 3, 6 and 10 years. I have taught children to knock before you enter my bedroom. Everyone respects each other's territory".
On the other hand, for Anna, who sometimes likes to spend a vacation on nudist beaches, nudity is not a problem. "I want to live, how I feel, especially at home. So I don't ask, going from the bathroom into the room without clothes. But on the other hand, I stopped to take in the nudist camp their daughters as soon as they realized that they feel embarrassed. They are about 4-5 years. I don't want them to impose. I respect their feelings".
Modesty acts as a filter between what happens inside, in the psyche and the external world. The intensity, the "energy" of this feeling depends on external circumstances and internal. Someone feels naked in the dress, and someone without embarrassment walking naked on the beach.
This age
Between 2 and 4 years children discover the nakedness. If the first child is not embarrassed when you came out of the bath without clothes, once you notice that something has changed. He says "ugh! "when you kiss her husband, embarrassed, when he sees you half naked. He no longer wants to change into pajamas before all. He asks you to close the door of the bathroom.
These changes are associated with awareness of their sexuality and gender differences. You should notice these changes in behavior of the child and treat them seriously. Many parents feel hurt when the baby closes in the toilet or refuses to undress in their presence. You should not ask the question: "do I hesitate? " You can't control the body of their child at any point in time, he has the right to sit on the potty or play in his room alone.
Even if you are not ashamed of their child or think that it is small and does not pay attention to some details, you should not continue to behave as before. Young children are much more bodily beings than adults, their instincts are still not subject to the regulations, the rules of morality, society has accepted. And their ideas about shame and certain restrictions and prohibitions relating to the body, they will get it from you, in your family.
Author:
Bogdanova N.
Source:
Happy parents
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