When do I start? Finally it happened. You - mom! You are home and such a beloved and long-awaited baby is quiet snuffle in the crib. Loved and loving husband gently hugs you and whispers sweet words. And here you are compelled to inform you that the love you have now will be Platonic. And not less than 6-8 weeks, as instructed by the doctors at discharge from the hospital. Favorite wonders, sighs, sometimes gets irritated and goes to sleep. Each parent has his own life, his mode: mom adjusts to baby's sleeping with it day and not sleeping at night, and dad still works a lot. And therefore about sex after childbirth we forget for 2-3 months, or even six months to a year. Yes, and inexorable statistics: almost half of women experience difficulties in private life three months after birth, and about 18 % are confronted with these problems during the year.
It can be assumed that not all pregnant women think about how they will develop their sexual life after childbirth. And in vain. It is in this period there is a chance to reduce possible future complications of physical and mental plan.
The sooner your husband will feel the Pope, the easier it will be to enter your location after delivery. That is why a very close rapport is established between spouses who attend courses of future parenthood.
Childbirth is one of the most difficult and at the same time happy moments in a woman's life. And in many respects the condition and restoration of sexual relations depends on the nature of the flow during delivery, the health of women during pregnancy and childbirth, the presence or absence of complications during or after delivery.
Medical textbooks advise: to resume sexual activity with 6-8 weeks after birth, when the uterus reaches its previous size and its mucous membrane is fully restored. It is therefore considered that the need to abstain from sexual intercourse to prevent inflammation of the uterus and other complications. Regardless of whether the woman has complications, breaks or not, whether caesarean or natural birth, all the same time.
If a woman will wait the allotted time is good, but if the state will continue indefinitely? In any case, need to decide individually. And who will tell you, not as the body itself? Wish - well. To start to be careful, to watch, to avoid pain, the blood. If everything goes without problems and with pleasure - well, then the time has come.
Basically it is believed to restore the sexual relationship you want with full sexual intercourse. And if you approach this from the other side?
Vaginal women almost returned to the same size within 5-10 days after birth, if there were cuts and breaks. And the doctors are giving recommendations to not live a sexual life are due to the introduction of the penis into the vagina. But there are other ways not to get away from loved ones and bring them to your satisfaction. It's oral sex, petting. It can even immediately after discharge. Spouses will be useful gentle touch, hug and even getting an orgasm (when possible). Possible after birth a woman will be new sensations, aggravated and become more sensitive erogenous zones.
Many prospective mothers believe that after birth they are certainly not up to sex. This is a big problem and the tragedy of the family. Disclaimer sexual life can lead to the breakdown of relationships. Many men don't understand why they no longer attract their halves and seek solace "on the side". And some begin to attach to the bottle to obtain a discharge.
Therefore, many psychologists conclude - from time restored sexual life largely depends on the welfare of the family and, first of all, calm baby. After all, if calm and happy parents and happy child.
Unavailable becomes available
So, there comes a time when we can finally proceed to full sex in the traditional sense of the word. How to behave partners to "not hurt...".
Many women experience anxiety and fear of pain that can accompany due to cuts and tears during childbirth. They are afraid that the pain will not allow them to have fun. So before you contact a woman should relax and try poses that are most comfortable. If the birth took place with the use of caesarean section, it is convenient may be the position of "woman on top" or "sex lying on his side, to avoid friction weld on the abdomen.
Pain may also be accompanied by sexual intercourse, if there is dryness in the vagina. It has a very simple explanation for the lack of estrogen (female sex hormones). These estrogens are responsible for the so-called postpartum depression. In order to avoid unpleasant events during intercourse, you need to use lubricants (greases, gels, creams). Buy lube is now possible not only in sex shops, pharmacies and supermarkets. Therefore, sending her husband once again to the pharmacy or food - don't forget to order a small gift to myself. Among other things this will help to soften the area of the seams, if any, on the genitals.
After delivery partners may encounter a discrepancy between the size of the female and male reproductive organs. This is because the vagina is greatly expanded to skip child (of course, this does not apply to mothers who gave birth by caesarean) and after birth for some time will be is flabby and flaccid state. Of course, this will not last long, however, can significantly affect the feelings of the couple. A man may not feel the full girth of the penis, and the woman may not feel finding penis inside. To avoid such discomfort will help the various postures in which the thighs of the woman tight. Also to restore the elasticity of the vaginal muscles, you can do Kegel exercises. Well, if these exercises are done by the woman before the birth. But never mind, if not done, so you start to do them at any time.
Parous women natrenirovannosti vaginal muscles and pelvic floor appears weak sensations, as well as the ingress of air during sexual intercourse and its output with a loud unpleasant sound that can also be the cause of the reluctance of women to have sex.
Come to the aid of Kegel exercises is a exercises for toning up the muscles of the perineum and the whole genital Doctor Kegel invented these exercises for the treatment of urinary incontinence in parous and older women. Remember the saying, men distinguish parous women nulliparous: nulliparous sneeze standing, straight, relaxed, parous with tightly clenched legs and like squating. This shows the weakness of the muscles of the pelvic day for women. Kegel exercises will help strengthen your muscles and can be an alternative to surgery. Moreover, strong vaginal muscles will help faster and better for a woman to get an orgasm. Women are easier to feel what muscles you want to train, when urinating, if you try to arbitrarily stop urination, immediately you can feel the contraction of these muscles. When you become clear on what seems to be the muscles that you need in a comfortable posture lying to practice ten times, gradually bringing to 50 times at any time and at various positions.
Psychological discomfort surmountable
Many couples are not able to resume sexual relations not only because of the pain women, but also for psychological reasons.
All thoughts of the woman takes the child: if he ate, he never woke up do, isn't it time to change the diaper, what to cook, when to have time to eat the most, sleep, or iron the clothes. Dissatisfaction with themselves, their body, breast size (which can grow several sizes during feeding) may lead a woman to believe that she is no longer attractive to her husband. Beautiful and well-groomed colleagues at work, slim girlfriend make a tumult in the soul of young mothers. On the so-called postpartum depression superimposed physical fatigue and the result is an explosive mixture. It's not up to sex.
However, the situation is fixable. Call for help relatives. Let them help with chores or sit with the kid. Once a week to leave your baby on helpers and make a promenade for themselves, work clothes, go to the beautician, hairdresser again to feel attractive. You can arrange a romantic dinner, take together with your beloved bathroom, view together some beautiful erotic film - it will help you both to relax and to once again feel the desire. At this stage you need to try and man and woman: it is possible to speak gentle words, often to enter into each other's arms. Not necessarily to leave time for sex at night or evening, when the couple no longer have the strength. You can have sex in the morning or during the day baby sleep, when the man suddenly pulled out to lunch from work, or on a day off. Before making love, the woman can wear beautiful lingerie (it will hide the flaws of the figure), the bra can be put absorbent pads (not to disturb the roots milk), baby bedtime, preferably a hearty feed, dress, do not need to rush to the baby at any squeak, maybe he just groans in his sleep and the romantic mood of the couple will be broken.
Full sex after childbirth is not right, it should work. Moreover, to work two and then the baby will be a strong family and happy parents.
Author:
Fil So, the psychologist
Source:
The ABC's for parents
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