Orgasm is the peak of sexual pleasure, the top of bliss? No, our experts say: peak experiences in sex - those moments when all our being merged with another. So close reach lovers, able to connect with each other, body and soul. Then they will not get any boredom or monotony.The first experiments alone, mutual pleasure in a pair - our way to the top of bliss is through the discovery of different aspects of sexuality. According to sexologists, the main stages of this journey are: discovering sexual pleasure through Masturbation; opening enjoyment with a sexual partner; the formation of an individual's sexual script. "Today I otherwise get pleasure from lovemaking, " says 38-year-old Margarita. - Not that orgasm was sharper than ten years ago, I was just better know your body, more confidence in yourself. I can say that sexually ripe felt inner freedom, which enables easier for me to contact with your body and the body of the partner".
"In a harmonious romantic relationships people can achieve the unity of the three levels of pleasure, " says sexologist Natalia who issued. Is the desire body, the inclination of the mind and desire of the soul. To do this, the partners must be not only physically desirable for each other, but still interesting, meaningful".
Free to create
Specialists distinguish three types of pleasure: genital pleasure (body contact), impulsive attraction (caused by visual, tactile, gustatory sensations) and the ideal attraction (based on shared values and occur in a secure relationship). "However, the division is rather arbitrary, because in the sexual sphere we engage all of his personality, we are in a sexual relationship with their values," says family psychologist In Busheva. Apart from the purely physiological pleasure of sex for a man is a continuation of a non-sexual relationship with a partner. Genital contact is important but not the only or even always the mandatory factor for sexual pleasure, and each person can find their own ways to develop and enrich their sexuality. "In modern culture - reflects psychotherapist Alexander Tesler, is dominated by a purely genital pleasure, and mechanical type. Multiply manuals and instructions that promises us an extraordinary orgasms and reliable erections. However, the pleasure capricious and is not subject to rigid rules, this eternal creation".
To understand your body
How to develop their sensuality? Need, says gynecologist Elena Egorova, not to dwell on the orgasm, while attentive to their bodily sensations in everyday life, regardless of sex. "My patient, a woman of about 50 years, was worried due to the fact that sexual relations with her husband came to naught. Suspected that he had connections on the side. She almost didn't feel anything during sex... the Problem lay primarily in its relation to itself. I advised her to pursue her own body." Take care of your body is to get used to live in him truly; then gelendost and attractiveness emerge by themselves.
36-year-old Elena more sensitively to see my body helped massage. "Earlier sexual pleasure I took more of his head, ' she admits. I started going to massage because of problems with the spine and suddenly realized that my body knows about me many things that I cannot even guess. Taking the new physical sensations, I began to feel better my body and now understand how important it is to unleash the animal instinct: it enhances not just pleasure, but sexual intimacy, affection".
To increase capital
In adolescence and young adulthood, starting to masturbate, we discover own body. Then learn to communicate with your partner more or less experienced and learn from each other. As sexual maturity, each person develops their own sexual scheme, a private path to the perfect enjoyment. This work lasts a lifetime and requires the participation of two. In order to achieve the highest bliss, you need a lot to know about his sexuality. "We have been given so much from nature, and our sexuality is laid in the womb, " explains Natalia who issued. But our sexual "capital" must grow".
"You can love each other wholeheartedly and it does not match, for example, by temperament, " says Elena Egorova. - If you value your relationship, your "incompatibility" is not a reason for separation, and the reason it is better to learn each other". "The time of the merger with the other sex is the best experience available person, it is comparable only with the merged existence of the infant and the mother, adds In Busheva. - Intimacy with another person allows at least for a short time to forget that we are limited in our body; it opens us to new dimensions of space and time, when we perceive reality differently, and these experiences close to spiritual insights".
To push the boundaries
Each of us is able to enrich and develop your sexual experience, but in practice many couples for many years use the same scripts. Such lovers make love automatically, considering sex as a duty or routine. "An example of the happy couple can serve not boy and girl, and spouses who have lived together for 30-40 years and has maintained a vibrant sexual relationship, " says Natalia who issued. - This is available to any couple, if people don't look at the myths (for example, that in old age sex is not needed) or on someone else's opinion about the norm. The range of acceptability for different pairs are different from marriage without genital contact to the most daring experiments. No one can judge how good and "correct" your sex life couples but yourself". Routine - not the main enemy of sexual emotions, much more dangerous may be the fear to surrender fully enjoy. "The merger with another can cause fear - fear of absorption, extinction, " says Ina Busheva. Then there are attempts to protect to block the feeling of". Usually this is a continuation of the difficulties in the relationship outside of sex that people do not dare to speak. "Where there is no trust, openness in the relationship, there is a need to control, to dominate, continues In Busheva. Partner transforms from a peer entity in a soulless object, a tool, which needs to be managed to achieve enjoyment and to protect themselves from possible spontaneous response. In such relationships there is no main - opportunities to get to know yourself and your partner, to develop the "I".
To know each other, to give each other surprises - that should be the motto of those who do not want to settle for the standard pleasure. For Maxim this unexpected discovery was... the feminine principle of his sexuality. Usually the sex he was active, and in that time he experienced pleasure from the fact that it caressed, and then he was seized with a woman. "It was a miracle. It turns out that I can be a passive man and not ashamed of it. I would say that I became a better lover than before, I opened a new case".
"The pleasure is increased due to the personal creativity that distinguishes orgasm from the pleasure, which involved all of our being, - says Alexander Tesler. - Playing dimension of sexuality is most important. Improvisation is not necessarily going to be successful. But, improvising, we can Express the part of ourselves which usually eludes us, and it is a wonderful gift.
Source:
Women's information and entertainment portal WDay.ru
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