The goal should be positive
That's worded in the affirmative. Your goal should not contain the particle "not", and should not sound as "avoid", "get rid of", etc.
Bad goal is "not to drink", "escape poverty", "lose weight". Well that goal is to "be sober", "to be rich", "be slim".
If anything positive can't think of why is always something like "I want a divorce", try rephrasing the question to myself: "This is something I don't want to. What do I want instead? "
Be careful: if the wording goals include the words like "should", "should", "should", "should" - these words reduce the effectiveness of goal at times, because they create resistance in our minds: why should it? Who should? Got all this "should"!!! After all, "should", "should" is the antithesis of "want". And how can we something to want, when we use to encourage the blocking of the word? So, again, try rephrasing the question for themselves, replacing numerous "need" with "want", "can" and "will do".
Bad goal is "I have to earn money to pay the debt," "I need to relieve myself and to go on vacation". Well that goal is "I can earn money and earn money", "I want to relax and go on vacation". Goal is best formulated in terms of the process and the result: they are not "better work" and "to do something".
The goal should be in the area of your competence
It is impossible to achieve the goal of "I want my husband to quit drinking." It is not within the boundaries of your capabilities. You could want - but to throw something at him. We cannot force anyone to do anything directly.
It would seem that where is the solution? In the key word "directly". Changing ourselves, we change and the world around us, we change and our loved ones, we are able to move on changes and those who are waiting for them. Changing your behavior and reactions, we can create situations in which we need people will behave differently, not so, as always, that is not so, as we are not satisfied. People, when confronted with our unexpected, atypical reaction, change is far more likely than in the case of our "standard of conduct".
The goal should be as specific as possible
We have to imagine what we want to represent the goal as if it has already been achieved: in the images, colors, sounds... "I want to reach the top in your career" is vague, vague and most likely will not be achieved. But the sensible idea of the image: "I woke up in a comfortable bed (don't forget about color, fabric! in a beautiful huge apartment, went to the balcony, looked at the beautiful view outside the window (it is advisable to submit and view), went to work (mark's car looks like the office), rose in his office (as much detail as possible visualize), engaged in their favorite thing (specifically: what? ).
And now it would be nice to reminisce on How I achieved this? ", unwinding a ball from the future to his present, really: then went on a refresher course (or even changed his occupation), then have the opportunity to go on an internship abroad, which made communication and the ability to tighten the language... step by Step! What gives?
First, the consciousness of success increases motivation. Even if the success of the fictional (yet! ), the blood will run faster.
Secondly, this detail allows man to understand: is this what I really want is do I really need? Suppose you wanted to be a big boss, but was surprised to find that look (in their own eyes) like a complete fool on the studs in this cold leather chair in transparent office.And scrolling in mind the theme "How I achieved this" phase "I went for training," catch yourself thinking: "Why only, it is not clear? It was all go from there nerves would be better off, my daughter would have seen more than half an hour a day... and as I wanted to free graph, what I can do pictures, how luxurious photographer I would be in the mode of freelancing...." Because, in essence the same thing is achieved, but the other way: actually, I wanted not so much career heights and echoing rooms as self-reliance, sense of realizovannoy and his own money.
Next time: a clear specification and visualization gives the opportunity to fix criteria for achieving the goal, i.e. on the basis of any external signs we understand that the goal has already been achieved? It is important that the goal is not turned into the horizon, and that we, in principle, reaching its not going to it, like in the song: "the Tree, and the tree - the tree, and the tree - Bush... no no no, the tree, and the tree - the tree..." and so on to infinity.
The goal should be sustainable
It would be nice to know for themselves, does not contradict the goal of our beliefs and objective reality? If we can write the result in our lives or, driving under this goal, we will have to radically change the entire structure of our life? In addition, we need to understand, do not conflict our goals are different among themselves, did not create us they hardly resolvable contradictions? Do not violate the goal of some of our existing relationships, values?
Example: if a woman at the same time sets a goal of, say, this year my second child and get the second higher education - these goals will be a lot of conflict with each other, especially when helpers it does not. If a person has high myopia, but he persistently seeks to learn how to drive, he also can not be sure of the sustainability of this goal, in that it is achievable in terms of objective reality and not in conflict with concepts such as "security" and "common sense".
Check on environmentally friendly enables you to see all the pros and cons of achieving the selected goal (and they're always there: indeed, any goal is to change the existing system, and therefore has both positive and negative aspects) and to understand more. Seeing beforehand negative points, we can, first, to take measures to ensure that they minimize (straw to spread), and secondly - even to reconsider the very purpose and the need to achieve it.
Well, last:
a very important motivation to achieve goals. Motivation answers the questions "why" and "what makes people in his life certain actions, which, in fact, there is no real need (here to quench your thirst - is vital, and no one hurts themselves in vain question "why do I need this"). The stronger the motivation, the more likely that the goal will be reached.
Source:
Woman.ru
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