First steps early in his career often difficult, and we learn from our mistakes, gain experience. Gradually we become professionals. Unfortunately, professionalism is not always a prerequisite for career growth. First there comes the ability to market itself, i.e., what sees us employer and colleagues. Female causes of failures in this field originate in the culture of education. From childhood, girls instill certain behaviors that they carry into adulthood. Not all of these models are effective and help to achieve success in their professional activities. Let's look at the common mistakes that cause us to stagnate in place.
The first error. The desire to maintain good relations with all
From childhood, girls are taught to care for others, to be sweet and docile. Only this can be a real woman. If you help others, it will be rewarded - tell us parents. That would be like, we often offer help, and then Karim yourself for your kindness. But it is already too late.
How can you refuse cute colleague, if he asks you to stay and help make his presentation? How can you deny soslujivitsy, which ill? Unfortunately, such behavior leads to sad results. Women often spend time on the little things, and eventually pull the tedious work that distracts from the more visible and successful action.
To ourselves we imposed the most stringent requirements, even when work is not like that. But why do we treat with understanding to laziness and irresponsibility of others? We often complain, but at the same time, not put forward any specific requirements.
Cute colleague to successfully guide your presentation using your expert advice. But what do you get? The disappointment of the idea that thee once again took advantage, not appreciated? May be, on the Eighth of March, he'll give you a mug with your name. This is what you wanted? Popularity won't zaiskivanie and victims, and mutual respect, correct behavior and a reasonable distance.
Tatiana and Irina are accountants in the same company. Having absolutely the same. Tatiana respect her opinion, to Irina staff are good, but all the unpleasant and boring job all the time to be with her, she constantly does someone "urgent orders". Why is this happening, is offended Ira - Tanya does nothing, its not much to ask for is impossible - no one helps, and I'm all for people all around her jump as if she was the Princess, and me remember, only when you want something to ask? ".
Conclusion: Be able to reject those claims that appear to be excessive and poison life. Then your "Yes" will be much more valuable. Saying "no", we protect their borders. Otherwise, we damage ourselves. The waiver must be clear, precise, and fast. We must firmly and confidently say, "Sorry, but I can't do it". You may have to justify its refusal. Liberate yourself time for jobs where you will be able to show their talents and show the leadership that is capable of more.
Error two: get a hold of all the tasks that you offer, the only way you will show your hard work
Early in his career we often think that it is enough to be competent and diligent in their work, friendly and not to engage in conflicts. We want to show that we can perform any job, even unskilled. Thereby demonstrated their loyalty and hard work. Unfortunately, the only reward for this behavior is labeled as a person who can undertake unskilled work, instead of having to take on only those cases that can confirm our competence and ability. Agree that would make 200 copies to the meeting for an hour standing at the copier, not necessarily to finish University and have experience as a head of marketing Department. This is enough secretarial courses. Many women believe that all heavy, requiring much time and effort they must make themselves. Ask the assistant Secretary to do the dirty work for them it is difficult for them, they believe that this operation. Strangely enough, most men consider themselves too educated for this work.
Immediately after graduation she worked as a Secretary in one Western company. Two years later she was appointed the representative of the Director-General in Moscow. How did she do it? The secret is simple. She didn't wait for her to notice and appreciate, and acted as an assistant, not as a Secretary. Delved into all things, has taken the initiative is not in the details - like " You don't need some coffee? "namely that it was interested in business. She lacked energy, abilities, and desires. Therefore, it was perceived from the outset not as good docile girl, wonderful performer and reliable worker and as equal business partner.
Conclusion: Talk about your achievements. Take it, which will help to demonstrate their ability. Demonstriruya their competence. Do focus on the Essentials, not wazni in the details. Really not rewarded perseverance and diligence, and new ideas, thoughtful innovations and suggestions.
The third error: the Power leads to loneliness, I have to break character and no I do not love. I'm masculine.
Fear of becoming less desirable, having gained power, sits in the mind very deeply. From childhood we were taught that to impose my opinion it is not good that the task of the woman to make the lives of others as possible. It seems to us that men don't like strong women, because they are unfeminine that true femininity helpless and fragile. Is it really?
At work such traditionally feminine virtues as softness, passivity, helplessness always perceived negatively. Such people are easy to manipulate, no one perceives as a serious partner you can trust.
It used to really this behavior was justified. The woman was completely dependent on men. Now the structure of society has changed - women began to work and lead an active social life. The myth of masculinity business women probably comes from the insecurity of women first gained power. Uncertainty makes us copy men's behavior. And any copying is always comical. In their desire to look like a leader we deprive ourselves of any signs of feminine softness. To be aggressive just.
Marina dreamed about improving. Finally she was appointed head of the group. She soon came into conflict with all employees of the Department. Why did this happen? Marina actively sought to meet the new roles that began to give out orders right and left, bring it, bring it, if she objected, she immediately began to stall to cry, and was offended. She behaved as if all her needs. It should be noted that this was the only manifestation of her power. Marina by the nature of man is uncertain, was very afraid to make a mistake. Even in the new role, she continued to go to the head of Department to obtain confirmation of the correctness of their decisions. Thus, it showed his complete incompetence and lack of flexibility.
Conclusion: For what would you be taken seriously, it is not necessary to look grimsay. Truly desirable and feminine can only be a confident woman. The ability to exercise authority (delegated authority) important management skill, attests to the confidence. If you still feel uneasy in his new role, pass a special training to develop relevant skills.
Error four: the Wrong signals.
Eugene worked as an assistant in an advertising company. Came to this post in the hope that will work well and it will make the Manager. Time passed, and nothing changed. She had the appropriate education, the recognition of colleagues and the trust of the boss. She stayed up late, it was praised, but nothing happened. Then Jane began to look for another job. To no avail. Everything she was offered, was limited to the duties of the Secretary and office Manager. The last blow was the news that the vacancy of the Manager which was the dream of Eugene, took the girl with no experience. Why did this happen?
Very often we do not understand what signals are sent to other people. We think about the meaning of the words, and absolutely do not pay attention to another language - the language of gestures. Non-verbal signals have to say about us much more than our words. We study professional terms, receive diplomas, but the signals that we send to people, talk about our weakness and indecision. Pay attention to how they talk to women with men chiefs. How often do they drop my eyes, guiltily or playful smile, to giggle, or slow to answer. They spread the word, sometimes their voice is shaking from the importance of the moment. How often their shoulders drooping and his head tilted. Unfortunately, the most common signals that embarrassment, posing, sexy, helplessness, passivity. What signals we send such responses and the resulting. Sexuality and posing flirt or aggression, helplessness and passivity - distrust, at best care. Does that relate to the person willing to trust an important and serious matter? Such a person can be sorry for, it can attract like, but no serious Affairs with it to be impossible for that we need a more sturdy and strong people.
Very often uncertainty and passivity throws manner of speech. How often we start with little things, instead of jumping straight to the goal. Are we so afraid to miss something that, in the end, get stuck in the details and forget about the main thing. Perhaps this approach is good when meeting a friend, but not in a business conversation.
Notice how often the words we use so-called cautious phrases: sorry, sorry, like sorry, like, maybe I'll try to do seem to offer too many answers to the question (of course, your opponent chooses one that is profitable for him). How cute sounds such a request: " could you bring me the documents? " The obvious answer is, " No, couldn". But even better: " I like the head of the Department. And who then is the real boss? "I'm trying to work on the project". You are trying? And who is it really works? Women constantly apologize - thus, they want to show their politeness. But really, helplessness and uncertainty about their own competence.
Conclusion: Talking points briefly and clearly explain the essence of the question, and then connect with the conclusions reached. If you need more information, you ask.
Your behavior must be congruent, i.e. harmonious combination of what you say, how you say and how you look. If you say you are ready to take on the job site, it is not necessary to blame smile and lowered her eyes. On the contrary, keep right. Use strong expressions and gestures. This is an open posture, open view, unambiguous statements. Instead of "I didn't get the job, it is better to say "I need to clarify some points". No need to discredit itself. Such "trifles" create your professional image.
Error five: Indecision and passivity
Natasha has long grown tired of working in her position. The Department has a vacancy for which she could claim, because it had the necessary skills. But she sat silent, thinking that she would have offered this position, if she was coming. But time passed and no one offered. Bottom line: took the man's side, and she harbored anger and resentment on the head and on a new employee, who, as she thought, had taken unjustly. And that kept her just walk up and right to say to his boss about your desire? So, at least in case of refusal, she would have learned about what skills she needs to develop, and another time the head would mean her claim. In fact, her boss thought that the place Natasha satisfied.
Indecision, waiting and maneuvering almost inevitably lead to the collapse.
Women often adhere to the set rules of the game. We rarely peresprashivaem job and blindly follow the installed system. We do so, as is customary. However, the one who depends on the rules does not see beyond his nose, he can't move forward. And only he who follows his own rules, is able to determine its own path and to make discoveries.
The same applies to voice their discontent. We were taught that their opinions should be kept to yourself, you have to be tactful in order not to offend anyone. But this is not diplomacy. Good negotiation should produce results that are useful to all participants. Often if we are unhappy, we are silent about this, we believe that everyone should guess. We don't mind and withdraw. And if we dare to object, they are constantly looking for confirmation of his innocence. It is raised in women with childhood - whether an obedient girl, do not contradict a senior, wait, when you will call, do not go ahead, first think, then speak, be quiet when adults are talking. So educated diligence and diligence. Employees who perform their work safely, accurately and punctually, give the expected result, you need for a relaxing work on any firm. They have all the chances of not losing the workplace for a long time. However, the careers of those who use knowledge in order to develop their skills, demonstrate special abilities.
Conclusion: As a rule, all that we get in life is what we asked for. Requirements should be clearly defined. We need to talk about their desires and what efforts you are ready to apply for their implementation. Success comes to those people who clearly and distinctly articulate their ideas, Express their wishes and put requirements. Thus, they show that they want to perform difficult and unusual tasks
The sixth error: Emotion
Dasha simply adored his boss. And was that because he had let her go twice a year for a session at the Institute. Always so polite talking. Always thank you, please, how are you. Though the salary was small - Dasini friends from the Institute earned a lot more. But they didn't have such a wonderful boss. They are forced to prepare for a session in the workplace, and a good word from the boss will not hear. Dasha believed that owes much to him - well, where else would be so well treated!
Many women who have all the chances for promotion feel so strongly bound and obliged their company or boss that does not dare to make any changes. They are grateful for the fact that they are well treated. Emotional attachment is a convenient ground for manipulation. Our opponent may force us to focus on emotionally strong, but not the most significant aspect of the issue. Emotion and the ability to think logically are not mutually exclusive qualities. But when we see a troubled person, we immediately conclude that he is unable to think logically. Appreciate feelings, but don't always show them.
How often do we take to heart the very ordinary things. We incorrectly interpret actions and words, many zadumyvaet for the other person, instead of his right to ask. This makes us very vulnerable on the road to success. The head dropped random phrase, as already discussed events for the year ahead, make hasty conclusions, the wound itself.
Alla worked in the men's team. Every week she had to participate in meetings summarizing the results. The chief studied the work of each, and sometimes Alla my hands were shaking from fear that they will discuss it. And the boss often did not hesitate in expressions, and each such meeting was for Alla strong emotional shock. After these events she was crying and afraid that it will soon be fired. It is not surprising that when a vacancy project Manager, about Alla remembered only in passing. Summary the chef was brief: " I need someone strong and capable I argue, the only way I know he can defend the interests of the company and to understand yourself in a difficult situation".
Conclusions: Lack of emotional biases will help you calmly and dispassionately assess the situation and to better carry out their work. Try to minimize the conversations on personal themes in the presence of colleagues and management. Understand that the attacks and criticisms need not always be perceived as a personal insult. Learn to respond constructively to criticism, and use it as a stage for further growth. In the end, if you have not indicated your mistakes, how would you be able to fix it? " Well, you drew attention to it, I will fix this in the report. - React to the facts and not the emotional shell criticism.
Source:
Femina.com.ua
No comments:
Post a Comment