And what is the problem, You ask? What's so bad about that teenager is not greedy, share with friends on your things and helps them with schoolwork? Isn't this trying to teach their children all parents?
Yes, it is, but there are times when teenagers become too generous, so that parents begin to experience at first puzzled, and then and anxiety. Products from the refrigerator disappearing -- and the family is often left without dinner, computer games, iPods and other equipment missing from the house and returned in a broken, cosmetics and other accessories look used, and the cartridge in the printer ends in a few weeks.
And all because numerous friends and girlfriends baby herds graze in Your kitchen, use Your appliances and with permission of the offspring take Your cosmetics and other things. If You do note the child or away from the subject, either in plain text accuses You of greed. Faced with such situations? If not, You are lucky if Yes, try to understand why suddenly the teenager becomes so generous and how to balance this extravagant generosity?
From the beginning, it is necessary to establish the cause of such behavior. There can be several:
- the child is really very generous and genuinely wants to help friends. In this case, the generosity is manifested by the child throughout childhood as the main trait and will hardly surprise You in adolescence.
the child tries to win the respect of their peers, to buy attention and appreciation to friends gifts and services.
In both cases, if the generosity of offspring became burdensome for You, it makes sense to clearly distinguish "your/'s not yours" and to explain to the child that giving free of charge or refund he has the right only their belongings, and to set clear conditions:
if the child gave their belongings (clothes, stationery, telephone and so on) new clothes and everything else he will get only during planned purchases and not on the fact of giving. The teenager must learn that things don't appear by themselves on demand.
- explain to your child that the products purchased on the family without regard to his friends, if he wants to treat them, purchase for these purposes hearty but easy on the budget, products, pasta with sauce, inexpensive crackers and explain to your teen that these specially purchased products it can take, but not others.
Don't forget that after the announcement of the rules would not interfere in the decision of a teenager to give or give at the time of their belongings. They are his and he can do what he wants. Gritting his teeth have to endure.
If during the conversation you find that child hurt in the class and he is forced to pay off against offenders gifts or that the child is gaining his friends in such a strange way, you should explain to him that his actions are not the way out, because the material resources of the family, sooner or later, you can, for example, will end, and bought friends and not friends at all.
- if the child is hurt and it is for your own safety bribes from offenders, be sure to understand the situation at the school level, parents, teachers.
- try to dilute the environment Your child alternative communication with peers, family his interests and Hobbies. In another environment, where the environment of the adolescent will be kids with similar interests, it will be easier to show their esteem, make new friends and communicate with them on equal terms.
The most important thing in this situation not to be afraid and not to abuse a teenager. All people in a certain age are more or less loss phase adjusting team. Treat this situation with understanding, patiently explain to the child how best to behave and what are the consequences of their decisions.
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