How to encourage baby?

Praise is a kind of art education. It can be as "useful" and "harmful". To master this art parents will help a number of simple rules. Having learned them, you will be able to avoid many mistakes.

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Exaggerated praise immediately want to "put in place" to show their true nature.




Not giving away undeserved praise right and left, seeking to ingratiate himself with the child. Many parents tell us that the result of such unjustified praise became absolutely intolerable behavior of the offspring. Parents shrugged his shoulders, calling it a paradox. What happened is this: children feel insincere, exaggerated praise immediately want to "put in place" to show their true nature. The child, as if anticipating the question, such as whether it is "wonderful, darling, indispensable", tries to refute the praise of his behavior.





How to make praise sincere, appropriate, correctly understood?



The first Golden rule - praise should be directed at the child's action, not his personality! Examples of harmful praise can be: "You are such a wonderful daughter! ", "You're a real mother's helper! ", "You're so kind and understanding, so that we do without you? " The child may feel anxiety because he is far from perfect, as they say. And here there are two variants of behavior. First: most likely, the child is not waiting for "exposing" himself to prove his "not so perfect" the nature of bad behavior. But there is a second option, when the child himself will cease to be sincere and will adapt to the praise and opt for only those situations where you can show off only the best side. And listening to the endless shouting loving grandmothers: "What a wonderful child! Exceptional ability! Well and good! "the baby is at risk of grow a narcissistic egocentric person.

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The child will appreciate the sincere praise, and the next time will be sincerely glad to please you.



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So, if you want to praise your child (for example, for a traditional room), do not rush to shout "You're my assistant, what a man! " Just say with smile: "the Room is now clean, so nice to visit here." Believe me, your child will appreciate, and the next time will be sincerely glad to make you pleasant. And if, say, you want to praise him for the beautiful picture, do not jump to conclusions like: "You have me a real artist grow! "the child is able to doubt or upset if the next picture will be not so good. It is better to pay attention to the picture itself, for example: "What a great house you drew, there are so many bright colors and animals are not forgotten. But wood what high - how many apples on it! " Thus you show a keen interest in the creativity of the kid, but will avoid "harmful" assessment of the child's personality.




You need to be able to build their comments, that the child himself has drawn conclusions about their abilities. For example, if your son helped you move a heavy Cabinet, instead of the words "you are strong", to say how heavy was the Cabinet, as it was difficult for him to move, but you did. The student will draw conclusions: "So, I'm strong, I need! " Or, assessing the child's ability in versification, instead of "You are a wonderful poet, better tell him: "Your poem I was very touched".




The child should realize that he is capable of many things in nature it without much effort.




The second Golden rule

- don't praise the child for natural things. Don't make it sociality something extraordinary. This rule is very well revealed psychotherapist Jean Liedloff: "If the child did something useful, for example, he got dressed, fed the dog, picked a bouquet of wild flowers, nothing can hurt more than the expression of surprise on his social behavior. Exclamations like: "Oh, how good you are! ", "Look what he made, Yes even myself! " - imply that sociality in child unexpected, unusual and unusual". The child should realize that he is capable of many things in nature it without much effort. So needless to knock him off balance with his inappropriate praise?



The third Golden ruleOh don't Express their approval in the financial equivalent. It should not be encouraged to help with the housework or creative activity baby money. People successfully doing that selects sincerely, for internal reasons. If a child knows that the following action will follow payment, you fundamentally change the nature of the behavior of "creative activity" his activity will turn into "making money".


Mastering the art of praise, do not forget that for a child is also an important and good look, a gentle touch, hugs, games, communication - in short, all that, what is the language of love and trust.

Author:

Belmas And.


Source:

School Of Life

women's web magazine